Now that the kids are back to school (except Sifan...she has another week off), I am starting to miss the kids (a weee bit). With 4 little ones who need attention in a short period of time before bed; we needed something new. I flopped on the couch stumbled upon something; everyday I hit my midday slump around 4. Unfortunately this coincides with when the kids get home from school. As I snuggled up on the couch with my giant Bubba keg of  tea,  Wubitu snuggled up against me to read a book and tell me about her day. Light bulb flashing brightly....each kid got a turn with mommy all by themselves where we went through their papers, read a book, and talked about anything they wanted for 15-20 minutes. By the end  my mind and body were restored to their former caffeinated state where making dinner was a possibility without feeling like curling in a little ball on the floor between stirring various pots. The level of calm in the house has increased exponentially. Wubitu was even "nice" to Sifan without prompting on the way to Zumba afterward :) (usually she is ALL ABOUT Wubitu and being first or getting the most) The combination of everyone getting time away at school and individual time with mom at home has helped to provide a much needed buffer that was lacking over the summer as their personalities grated against one another.  Plus, I feel like I did my "mommy job" and know what is going on in their lives.  Now keeping tea from shooting out of my nose dealing with what I hear in mommy conferences is another story ;)

I should have known when one of the first things translated to me from Sifan in Ethiopia is that she wanted to buy high heeled shoes... She is a true fashion diva. She stands in front of the mirror after 5 outfit changes critiquing her reflection from multiple angles. Sometimes finding the "right" outfit according to Sifan can take a full hour and might involve Sifan's personal alteration like a pony tail holder in the back of the shirt to hold her t-shirt tight against her tummy so that her sparkly pink belt can show. Many times she has complete melt downs reminiscent of a teenager if she can't get her appearance to exactly match her own standard of beauty. After one such fit I asked her what she wanted them to look like and why she was pulling her shirt in so tight and sucking her tummy in. In tears she took me to her new back pack that had Sleeping Beauty on it and told me that she wanted her shirt to be like Sleeping Beauty's. (for the record Sleeping Beauty wears a pink dress with a fitted bodice...this is what she was trying to achieve...the fitted bodice with a t-shirt) It hit me then that she was using Disney Princesses for fashion ideals. She even told me about the discussion she had with Carter about whether the other princesses had long loosly attached sleeves or long gloves and high heels. She was paying close attention to those princesses. So while the big kids are at school all day; we did a special project of going through the Sunday ads to find the outfits she liked, cut them out, and pasted them in her "Fashion Journal". Hopefully this will help her to be more comfortable with the clothes they sell in stores circa 2010 ;)

It has been a very very very long time since I have last blogged. The truth is I had to take a step out of the cyber adoption world to find ME again. I ceased looking at message boards, blogs, yahoo groups, etc. for the entire summer and honestly it was much needed. The online adoption world is a wealth of information that I am sooo very thankful for. Without it I would have been lost and anxious about so many facets of adoption: travel, paperwork, citizenship, attachment, ethics, transition, PADS, etc. However with it can come drama, in the form of passionate discussions on message boards, or scathing comments on blogs and intense personal messages on facebook or sent through emails. After 3 1/2 years I needed to take a step back from what had become an addiction; something that took over a larger portion of my life than I could afford to forfeit. That is not to say that I am turning a blind eye to the continuing issues of Ethiopian adoption but that I am content to get the cliff notes version from the many close cyber friends I have made in this journey. So while I am bowing out of the "drama" I am greatful that I get to keep these precious relationships that have been a life line for me through this incredible season in my life.

So in giving up my cyber drama I was able to replace it with an old friend, a good book. I have been voraciously tearing through series after series this summer. Concentrating on saucy vampires and valient fauns has done wonders in helping me to purge all of the anxiety, anger, and fear that was pent up from our last adoption.

I also developed a pretty intense affinity for Zumba. Monday, Thursday, and Friday I enjoy getting my groove on; for sure my hips have learned a few new tricks and I can shake a booty like nobody's business :). I always leave with a smile on my face and return home to some ice for the knees...(old lady). Redirecting my anxiety from food and computer potatoedom to books and exercise has helped me to find my old pre-adoption body too. Losing the 25 lbs. of adoption weight, I am thankful that I can now fit back into my old clothes. Jeans!!! The cookie pants have now been retired...hopefully for good.

My relationship with the girls has been FABULOUS for the most part. We have fallen into a good routine and I have learned how to keep them busy. This is a difficult task because they are not ones who enjoy playing with toys. It seems so wrong by American standards for children but they really enjoy cleaning. If I give them a choice of watching a movie, playing Barbies (brushing their hair), coloring (which they enjoy), or sweeping the dining room floor...they will pick sweeping every single time. This is something they fight over actually, who gets to sweep. So I have let my OCD about cleaning go a bit and let them have at it. They are always so proud when they are done and like to make a game of making sure that the house is clean before Daddy gets home (with absolutely no prompting from me). Seriously, who can complain about the extra help. We have also worked very hard all year teaching the girls to read. I am not one who enjoys playing on the floor with Barbies, and babies so it took awhile to find an activity that was mutually enjoyable. They really like to learn and I really like to teach. We started with letters in October and Sight words in mid-May. Each girls gets 30-40 mintues of uninterrupted mommy time almost every day as we work on reading. Both girls have really flourished. Both can read over 100 words by sight and they can both sound out new words that are 3-4 letters long. They are so proud of their new reading ability and will spend hours reading their books on their own. We also worked on cartwheels and hand stands (yep, I still can do them with ease...as long as I can keep my feet away from the ceiling fan). We are still working on round offs, one handed cartwheels and backbends (these make me feel very very old). Though Sifan who had zero strength in her abs, arms, and shoulders last year at homecoming can now hold a back bridge for 2 full minutes :). Sifan is TENACIOUS!!! She is a year younger than Wubitu so things that come easily to Wubitu at age 6 are not so easy for Sifan. However, she makes up for it in resolve. It took Wubitu about 6 hours of practice in one day to learn the cartwheel (remember they don't play with toys or watch tv much so this is what they chose to do...there was endless, mommy watch me requests the entire time). For Sifan it took 3 hours a day for 3 months to learn to do a cartwheel...she NEVER gave up...even when I told her that maybe she should wait until she is 6 like Wubitu to try. I invested in a gym mat because I thought they would pound a hole in the living room floor. On top of the hours of practice at home, everywhere we walked Sifan was trying to turn her cartwheel and her practice finally paid off. Seriously world watch out for this one....you don't want to get in her way :).

Wubitu will be starting Kindergarten in a week along with Carter going into 1st grade and Noah 4th. Wubitu is soooo very excited about being a big girl. Sifan will be going to preschool 5 days a week for half days and the other half we have enrolled her in a YMCA enrichment program because she so very badly wanted to go all day like the other kids. This was our compromise since she wasn't going to Kindergarten :) (trying to keep the girls in separate grades since they are 1 year apart).

So we have reached a new season in our lives, with all of the kids in school all day. Life is so different when you youngest is 5....a very good different. I am glad to be finding me again and shedding the "adoption me" that was so anxious, and scared, worrying about my daughters far away in questionable circumstances and their development here at home. It is good to finally be just about raising 4 fabulous children with an awesome husband who can finally come home every night for dinner :).

It was a bit crazy with 4 costume and 3 hair changes.  We forgot the white tights so T had to run all the way home but by the time he got back I had already borrowed some from some sweet girls in the bathroom (THANK YOU!!!!).  It made the recital go very very fast but we were all sad to miss so many of our friends dance :(. 
Videos to follow later :)

We had planned on having a big backyard barbecue but changed the venue to a gymnastics center because of the rain.  The kids had a fantastic time.  They did an obstacle course, balance beam walks to jump in the foam pit, and trampoline tricks








The boys have taken up Lacrosse
T opted to not go through formal graduation ceremonies.  Instead we went to Applebee's for dinner. 
 A fun trip to the zoo with some friends.

My friend Dee let me have some of her Kinky Curly Curling Custard (KCCC) to try out before I "invested" in it myself.  {DEE YOU ROCK BTW}  Well, I loved it at first but it didn't weigh Wuby's hair down as much as i would have liked!!!  KCCC is a curl definer, it prevents massive shrinkage during drying and leave nice moisturized curls when it air dries. Today I co-washed (washed with conditioner) Wuby & Sifan's hair and brushed the conditioner through. Rinsed the hair and lightly wrung it out.  Then I added the KCCC and brushed it through root to tip.  Then let it air dry.  This is what Wuby's hair looked like 3 hours later (mostly dry).





I missed most of the top of her hair so I rewet with a detangling spray and brushed more KCCC through those parts.  The final result still had a lot more shrinkage than I liked. However, her curls were well defined with minimal frizz.  I like KCCC but Wuby feels 'weird" wearing it this way after wearing it in 1 or 2 ponytails for most of the last year.  I isn't the wonder cream I was hoping for but it does help to have another hairstyle under our belts that is easy and fast without damaging the hair by pulling, heat, or chemicals


Sifan has been begging for "shakies" but we have been too busy and her hair is still rather short.  So for her birthday that is coming up on Thursday we did her first box twists with beads.  She sat very still and watched TV for the first hour and a half.  then she played computer for another hour and a half while I work.  Wuby was a great help in stringing our beaders.  

Just got around to uploading these pictures :)  Easter weather was FAB-U-LOUS here!  Unfortunately I did not get pics of our family together at church on Sunday morning all dressed up :(  When we picked Carter up from his class he had somehow smashed his face into a table playing speed stackers and was bleeding from his mouth and nose :(.
Sifan had a wonderful first Easter. She is so cute trying to figure out all of our holidays.  She kept saying Easter is going to bring me _______ (insert favorite Barbie toy or movie).  She had a great time hunting for eggs at Grandma and Grandpa's house (2 times). 

To be completely honest my lack of posting has been largely due to the overwhelming jumble of thoughts and emotions that would make the airy and light posts seem unauthentic.  I have been very very open about ALL of the steps of our adoption journeys until what seemed like the end of Sifan's adoption.  So much has gone on behind the scenes that I cannot share on this blog, things that involve other families, our daughters' backgrounds, agencies' behaviors past and present, and ethics in Ethiopian adoption.  I am very conflicted as I am a wear your emotions on your sleeve type of girl who will talk about anything. However, the circumstances that have arisen in the last year have brought up a lot of issues and thoughts that could only be written as a rough draft....things that I am constantly researching and revising and may never be ready to put out for a final print.  Adoption doesn't seem to lend it self to a period...end of story as I first thought it would.  Child home, child adjusted is not the end of the story.  Adoption is so complex. Children grow up into teenagers who question and adults who contemplate.  I can only imagine that the questions and concerns I have now will only be the tip of the iceberg of the issues my daughters will bring up when they are old enough to think about and understand the complexities of adoption and their background. I will try to keep this blog as "real" as I can but I am sure that I will likely be erring on the side of superficial at least in cyberspace ;)

This weekend we will officially take our house off of the market.  To be completely honest we are happy with this decision.  We have had a few very interested parties but everyone lacked the credit needed to purchase and we were not comfortable becoming landlords.  So we are staying put for awhile.  I am glad we went through the process though, mainly we have made so many wonderful improvements that we LOVE our house.  Improvements that I don't think we would have invested in if we were not trying to sell.  Even just decluttering and reorganizing our home has made a significant difference in the amount of space we have.  Our only qualms are 1) the bathroom issue (1 bathroom to 6 people) 2) the crazy circles I drive around town to drop and pick the kids up from school (about 1 h 45m a day in the van) .  Both of these are inconveniences and not impossibilities.     The GREAT news is that the combination of paying off our car with out tax return and deciding to not take on a larger mortgage payment in its place has made it possible for me to be a full time stay at home mom!!!  This had never been possible before as I have always worked 1-3 part time jobs to help make ends meet.  Torrey will finally complete his 9 year bachelor's degree in 3 weeks and we have decided to put all of our extra spinning plates down and hang our extra hats up for awhile to just regain some balance in our lives.  We want to refocus on our children and try to make up for lost time while they are still young.  Our focus has been on work, ministry, school, adoption, our home, etc for so long that our children have never really experienced the old fashioned family dinner.  And they are missing out on the joy of having their parents boty home on a regular basis. We have been tag team parenting for a long time that the children are always surprised to have both of us in the room at the same time.  (Sifan especially will question which one of us is leaving when she sees us together at home :( )
Staying where we are may not afford us much privacy or time in the bathroom but it will give us more time to regain some of the quality family time we have missed by being so "busy".

Today we had our first Easter Celebration. 

A little egg hunting between rain drops
Daddy and his girls

 Sweet baby Carter
And some new "headbands" from Grandma and Grandpa.

This blog came up in conversation during the family get together today.   I forget that people read this blog sometimes.

Today we finished Sifan's adoption announcements!  Sifan picked out special pink tulip paper to print the announcements on.    We are so glad we waited to make these because all of the information is correct now that we have finalized the spelling of her name and have her actual birthday!
Sifan has been home 9 months now :)

In hair news: We are working on perfecting our flat iron skills now that Wuby's hair is getting longer.  She sits so very still for the 2 hour process because she so badly wants her hair straight so she can comb through it all day.  This was our first semi-successful attempt
(and a little flat iron in the front for Sifan to make her happy.).

Back in January Carter's photography and visual art submissions for the a PTA art program advanced to the state level for grades K-2nd.  We just recieved word that his photography submission placed in the top 3 for the state!!!  We are so proud of him!!  The theme was "Beauty is...."

This is a picture of the hooks where he hangs his coat at school.  His artist statement was, "This is my class, this is where I belong. (beauty is belonging)"
Here are a few others that Carter took that I LOVE:

His perspective is very interesting to me.   Maybe all Kindergarteners see the world this way?  I just love the way he captures it in the camera.
  Since I am on the brag endlessly about my kid post, I wanted to add this one.

This is a school project he did in January:
It says, "If I were President I would.....make healthy food for free.  Make sad kids have a house."
When I asked him about it he said it is about the kids in Ethiopia.  He wants to get them healthy food to eat for those that are hungry and give the children on the streets of Ethiopia a home.
Did I say I LOVE this kid?