It has been a very very very long time since I have last blogged. The truth is I had to take a step out of the cyber adoption world to find ME again. I ceased looking at message boards, blogs, yahoo groups, etc. for the entire summer and honestly it was much needed. The online adoption world is a wealth of information that I am sooo very thankful for. Without it I would have been lost and anxious about so many facets of adoption: travel, paperwork, citizenship, attachment, ethics, transition, PADS, etc. However with it can come drama, in the form of passionate discussions on message boards, or scathing comments on blogs and intense personal messages on facebook or sent through emails. After 3 1/2 years I needed to take a step back from what had become an addiction; something that took over a larger portion of my life than I could afford to forfeit. That is not to say that I am turning a blind eye to the continuing issues of Ethiopian adoption but that I am content to get the cliff notes version from the many close cyber friends I have made in this journey. So while I am bowing out of the "drama" I am greatful that I get to keep these precious relationships that have been a life line for me through this incredible season in my life.
So in giving up my cyber drama I was able to replace it with an old friend, a good book. I have been voraciously tearing through series after series this summer. Concentrating on saucy vampires and valient fauns has done wonders in helping me to purge all of the anxiety, anger, and fear that was pent up from our last adoption.
I also developed a pretty intense affinity for Zumba. Monday, Thursday, and Friday I enjoy getting my groove on; for sure my hips have learned a few new tricks and I can shake a booty like nobody's business :). I always leave with a smile on my face and return home to some ice for the knees...(old lady). Redirecting my anxiety from food and computer potatoedom to books and exercise has helped me to find my old pre-adoption body too. Losing the 25 lbs. of adoption weight, I am thankful that I can now fit back into my old clothes. Jeans!!! The cookie pants have now been retired...hopefully for good.
My relationship with the girls has been FABULOUS for the most part. We have fallen into a good routine and I have learned how to keep them busy. This is a difficult task because they are not ones who enjoy playing with toys. It seems so wrong by American standards for children but they really enjoy cleaning. If I give them a choice of watching a movie, playing Barbies (brushing their hair), coloring (which they enjoy), or sweeping the dining room floor...they will pick sweeping every single time. This is something they fight over actually, who gets to sweep. So I have let my OCD about cleaning go a bit and let them have at it. They are always so proud when they are done and like to make a game of making sure that the house is clean before Daddy gets home (with absolutely no prompting from me). Seriously, who can complain about the extra help. We have also worked very hard all year teaching the girls to read. I am not one who enjoys playing on the floor with Barbies, and babies so it took awhile to find an activity that was mutually enjoyable. They really like to learn and I really like to teach. We started with letters in October and Sight words in mid-May. Each girls gets 30-40 mintues of uninterrupted mommy time almost every day as we work on reading. Both girls have really flourished. Both can read over 100 words by sight and they can both sound out new words that are 3-4 letters long. They are so proud of their new reading ability and will spend hours reading their books on their own. We also worked on cartwheels and hand stands (yep, I still can do them with ease...as long as I can keep my feet away from the ceiling fan). We are still working on round offs, one handed cartwheels and backbends (these make me feel very very old). Though Sifan who had zero strength in her abs, arms, and shoulders last year at homecoming can now hold a back bridge for 2 full minutes :). Sifan is TENACIOUS!!! She is a year younger than Wubitu so things that come easily to Wubitu at age 6 are not so easy for Sifan. However, she makes up for it in resolve. It took Wubitu about 6 hours of practice in one day to learn the cartwheel (remember they don't play with toys or watch tv much so this is what they chose to do...there was endless, mommy watch me requests the entire time). For Sifan it took 3 hours a day for 3 months to learn to do a cartwheel...she NEVER gave up...even when I told her that maybe she should wait until she is 6 like Wubitu to try. I invested in a gym mat because I thought they would pound a hole in the living room floor. On top of the hours of practice at home, everywhere we walked Sifan was trying to turn her cartwheel and her practice finally paid off. Seriously world watch out for this one....you don't want to get in her way :).
Wubitu will be starting Kindergarten in a week along with Carter going into 1st grade and Noah 4th. Wubitu is soooo very excited about being a big girl. Sifan will be going to preschool 5 days a week for half days and the other half we have enrolled her in a YMCA enrichment program because she so very badly wanted to go all day like the other kids. This was our compromise since she wasn't going to Kindergarten :) (trying to keep the girls in separate grades since they are 1 year apart).
So we have reached a new season in our lives, with all of the kids in school all day. Life is so different when you youngest is 5....a very good different. I am glad to be finding me again and shedding the "adoption me" that was so anxious, and scared, worrying about my daughters far away in questionable circumstances and their development here at home. It is good to finally be just about raising 4 fabulous children with an awesome husband who can finally come home every night for dinner :).
So in giving up my cyber drama I was able to replace it with an old friend, a good book. I have been voraciously tearing through series after series this summer. Concentrating on saucy vampires and valient fauns has done wonders in helping me to purge all of the anxiety, anger, and fear that was pent up from our last adoption.
I also developed a pretty intense affinity for Zumba. Monday, Thursday, and Friday I enjoy getting my groove on; for sure my hips have learned a few new tricks and I can shake a booty like nobody's business :). I always leave with a smile on my face and return home to some ice for the knees...(old lady). Redirecting my anxiety from food and computer potatoedom to books and exercise has helped me to find my old pre-adoption body too. Losing the 25 lbs. of adoption weight, I am thankful that I can now fit back into my old clothes. Jeans!!! The cookie pants have now been retired...hopefully for good.
My relationship with the girls has been FABULOUS for the most part. We have fallen into a good routine and I have learned how to keep them busy. This is a difficult task because they are not ones who enjoy playing with toys. It seems so wrong by American standards for children but they really enjoy cleaning. If I give them a choice of watching a movie, playing Barbies (brushing their hair), coloring (which they enjoy), or sweeping the dining room floor...they will pick sweeping every single time. This is something they fight over actually, who gets to sweep. So I have let my OCD about cleaning go a bit and let them have at it. They are always so proud when they are done and like to make a game of making sure that the house is clean before Daddy gets home (with absolutely no prompting from me). Seriously, who can complain about the extra help. We have also worked very hard all year teaching the girls to read. I am not one who enjoys playing on the floor with Barbies, and babies so it took awhile to find an activity that was mutually enjoyable. They really like to learn and I really like to teach. We started with letters in October and Sight words in mid-May. Each girls gets 30-40 mintues of uninterrupted mommy time almost every day as we work on reading. Both girls have really flourished. Both can read over 100 words by sight and they can both sound out new words that are 3-4 letters long. They are so proud of their new reading ability and will spend hours reading their books on their own. We also worked on cartwheels and hand stands (yep, I still can do them with ease...as long as I can keep my feet away from the ceiling fan). We are still working on round offs, one handed cartwheels and backbends (these make me feel very very old). Though Sifan who had zero strength in her abs, arms, and shoulders last year at homecoming can now hold a back bridge for 2 full minutes :). Sifan is TENACIOUS!!! She is a year younger than Wubitu so things that come easily to Wubitu at age 6 are not so easy for Sifan. However, she makes up for it in resolve. It took Wubitu about 6 hours of practice in one day to learn the cartwheel (remember they don't play with toys or watch tv much so this is what they chose to do...there was endless, mommy watch me requests the entire time). For Sifan it took 3 hours a day for 3 months to learn to do a cartwheel...she NEVER gave up...even when I told her that maybe she should wait until she is 6 like Wubitu to try. I invested in a gym mat because I thought they would pound a hole in the living room floor. On top of the hours of practice at home, everywhere we walked Sifan was trying to turn her cartwheel and her practice finally paid off. Seriously world watch out for this one....you don't want to get in her way :).
Wubitu will be starting Kindergarten in a week along with Carter going into 1st grade and Noah 4th. Wubitu is soooo very excited about being a big girl. Sifan will be going to preschool 5 days a week for half days and the other half we have enrolled her in a YMCA enrichment program because she so very badly wanted to go all day like the other kids. This was our compromise since she wasn't going to Kindergarten :) (trying to keep the girls in separate grades since they are 1 year apart).
So we have reached a new season in our lives, with all of the kids in school all day. Life is so different when you youngest is 5....a very good different. I am glad to be finding me again and shedding the "adoption me" that was so anxious, and scared, worrying about my daughters far away in questionable circumstances and their development here at home. It is good to finally be just about raising 4 fabulous children with an awesome husband who can finally come home every night for dinner :).
5 comments:
Jennifer Leona said...
I love this post. Happy tears :o)
G.L.H. said...
I know I'm not your mother or anything, but you make me proud, girl! It sounds like you are in a wonderful place.
I hope you do keep blogging, though. Love to hear about your daily life at home with those wonderful kids!
--Barb
Cindy said...
I am very happy for you! I hope your kids have a great school year and that you keep up the blog : )
Theresa said...
Love your post - thank you for sharing. Honestly I have thought about taking a break too. I actually haven't been on my computer the last two nights and it has been wonderful. I actually had two great nights of sleep which I haven't had in a very long time.
Kimberley said...
sefan you are so cute