I want to apologize for yesterday's post and anyone I spoke with in person yesterday...I was incredibly negative and overly emotional. I have been on edge a little this week for a few reasons. First is that we have been "officially" on the waiting list for our little girl for 3 months!!! This is so exciting but also nerve wracking as we wait with baited breath (not sure what that phrase really means... stinking breath?) with the hope of referrals next week!

This week has also been especially hard since our due date is this week for the baby we lost in December. We would have had a planned C-section earlier this week. It was especially hard today watching a new mommy at the pool with her 1 week old, so tiny and precious. While I am excited that God has blessed us so tremendously in the last 6 months making the adoption of our little girl possible, it still hurts when the "dates" roll around. I often feel that I am betraying my new daughter for grieving so hard for the one's I have lost but the emotion and pain is still there. Each time I miscarried I had a close friend who was pregnant with me and were fortunate enough to have beautiful, healthy babies. I am so happy for each of my friends but sometimes I am blindsided with emotion as I see these little ones grow up and know that my little Jonah or Anderson would be that big by now.