This weekend pictures of some children waiting at an orphanage that our agency works with became available. Their paperwork is not quite ready yet so most have not been referred to families yet. So the question arose...could we choose a child from these? Through email I ascertained that we could mention our interest in a specific child, it could not hurt. So as I scoured these group photos my heart landed on a few that looked like our little Wuby. Torrey is very much against choosing....how can you choose? His thoughts were...what if OUR child was using the bathroom while these pictures were taken. My thoughts were that there are so many ways that our daughters will stand out in our family and community, having the girls look similar might help them to feel more like they have someone who understands. Heeding my husbands advice I looked further at each photo, charishing every face....the more I looked the more I feel in love with EACH and EVERYone.
We have been praying for a little girl who might have a personality more like our Noah who is calm, sweet, & funny to help offset Carter & Wubitu's bubbly, zaney, wild, spunky personalities. We are trusting that God will guide our adoption agency to choose the PERFECT little girl for our family (spunky or sweet, looking like Wuby or not). Seeing these pictures gave me the illusion of control in our adoption....and you all know that is what I have been CRAVING.....however, this is control I am not sure I am very comfortable having. The only "right" decision for us is that only God knows which child HE has chosen for us.....I have to let go of any worry that something I or any other person here or in Ethiopia does can interfer with HIS plan for our family.
I see the wisdom in God bringing Wubitu to us. She is VERY VERY much like me in personality, it is scary sometimes. I have to let go and trust again that God knows which child will fit perfectly into the WHOLE REST OF OUR LIVES. Please join me in praying for guiding our agency toward the perfect child for our family.