What in the World Wednesday

Just a little project....messy living room...clean attic. This is 17 boxes of clothes that the kids have grown out of that we have been hording. We plan to move sometime in the next year so we are slowly working on paring down our possessions in preparation. Thank you to those who have volunteered to take some of these clothes off of our hands! :)

I apologize in advance if my daughter asks you questions

Wubitu....is well.....lets say VERY outgoing and VERY inquisitive. At first I was super nervous anytime she opened her mouth to talk to an adult anticipating the embarassing question...what would she say....how red would my cheeks turn? She completely lacks a "filter" and asks ANYTHING that comes to her mind. A few examples:
1) At her birthday party there was a kid with skate shoes on and she asked, "What is wrong with your feet"...the kid looked really really confused and said "nothing" but you could tell that kid would now be self conscious about their feet for some time.
2) At the grocery store: A large person was in one of those motorized shopping carts. "Can't she walk?"
3) A person with a large mole on their face, "What is that on your face?" the person, "it's a mole"....Wuby says, "eeeewww, I don't want a mole on my face."
4) A large man at the YMCA, "Daddy does that man have a baby in his belly?" (said loud enough that everyone can hear.)
5) Woman with a large bottom....."Did you eat too much food?"
6) My new mortifying fav: Shopping at United Art and Education for art supplies for a PTA program...Wuby decides to talk to the cashier.... Wuby says, "What did you want to be when you grow up?" , The cashier says, "I wanted to be a teacher." Wuby says, "Well you are not a teacher." insert some akward silence as the man collects his dignity then quickly goes on break.

Now we have REPEATEDLY talked to Wuby about talking to adults...that if she has a question about something then she can feel free to ask us ANYTHING quietly so nobody can hear and that it is not polite to point out how people are different but she can't seem to contain herself. So until she learns this important social lesson please excuse the rude questions, or excuse me if I quickly try to shush her as I see an akward question forming in her head.

Halloween Festivities~

Always a bit behind in my posting but here goes
Pumpkin picking the weekend before halloween.


Halloween night! We always go to Grandma Karen and Grandpa Jeff's house to trick or treat!







And a little boogie to end a boootiful night....

One of these things is not like the others

Wuby's 5th birthday

WUBITU IS 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't believe my little baby girl is 5!! Five is such a big number. This last month I have really had a hard time with her becoming 5....not sure why....with the boys I never thought twice about it....but with Wubitu, I actually cried a bit.....sappy I know.
With T going to school we were not up for a spottless cleaning fest at the house so we opted for a "low key" Chuck-e-cheese party. We originally planned to just invite family but when Wuby woke up she asked "Are my friends going to be there?" so we made a few quick phone calls and sent out a few text messages to see if anyone could make it.


Sefan :)
Wuby was soooo excited about her presents!


This is the response Carter got for getting Wubitu the "Barbie 12 Dancing Princesses" DVD....she really, really, really liked it :)

Thank you Danielle for taking these photos for me!

Happy Half Birthday to Carter & Sefan

Carter turned 6 1/2 today and Sefan turned 4 1/2

We had an independant film crew visit Sefan's birth family in Ethiopia to make a background video for her similar to the one that Wubitu recieved from Children's Home Society when she came home. They helped us to confirm that Sefan's birthdate is infact April 29th but the year is 2005...not 2004. So she is in fact 4 1/2 years old NOT 5 1/2. We are so thankful to have this invaluable information for her! Carter is excited to share his birthday with Sefan and today we talked about his birthday party when he was 2 and that while we were celebrating Sefan was born in Ethiopia.
Knowing that Sefan is 4 and not 5 relieves A LOT of stress because we now have another year to prepare her for Kindergarten.

Wordless Wednesday

You don't love me......

Sefan is a deep thinker sometimes.
This week while we were driving the boys to school she suddenly burst into sobs and said, "Mommy, you no love me, you only love Wubitu, Carter and Noah" I was flabbergasted.....I told her "I do most certainly love you! Why do you think that?" She said "YOU go getcha Wubitu first.......why you not go getcha me first? You no love me".
I tried to assure her that I DO love her! That I didn't know that she needed me yet and that she wasn't ready to come to America yet. I tried to tell her that she needed to spend some more time with her birthfamily and friends before she came home. To which she said, "****(one of her friend's names...a bloggy friend of mine's child)*** no share her ball with me....I want mommy".
I told her I was sorry and that I wish I could have come earlier and that I cried every day for her to come home. This seemed to appease her. Later in the week I heard the girls pretend to be me and say "Sefan, Sefan, I need you, come home to me in America" and they would run together.
I am sure that this is only the beginning of the tough questions as Sefan learns more English. Honestly I grieve those 18 months that we missed with Sefan that I had with Wubitu. It is so hard to make up lost time. Though I don't question God's hand in the order that our kids came home or the time between our 2 adoptions. I know that I needed more time with Wubitu to establish our relationship because our personalities clashed a lot at first and it took a long time for us both to adjust and bond. It was a tough 18 months of stretching and growing and learning to love each other. With Sefan our relationship did not require as much adjusting. We melded together quite quickly and have a stong, deep bond and a great relationship at only 3 months home. The order of our adoptions worked out perfectly....but to explain that to a 5 year old is difficult....it is still painful to know that we missed so much of her life....painful for both her and us.

Wacky Wednesday

Okay....several of my bloggy buddies participate in "Wordless Wednesday" and I LOOOOVE IT! However, I am a bit "talky" and might need to explain a bit.......if i posted say.....this picture:
But maybe not.....but just in case, we are shopping for Halloween costumes at Goodwill ....oh wait maybe i shouldn't have said that because now you think I am a horrible parent and what if my kid gets lice from wearing a wig from Goodwill.....oh well.....or maybe you erroneously think that I put this wig on her to make her look "white".....maybe I am just paranoid about what others might think.... and you weren't thinking any of those things and I am just paranoid.....maybe there is a good reason for "wordlessness"..... soooo, in the spirit of Wacky (WORDLESS) Wednesday.....

(excuse the mess...4 kids....enough said....dang...just can't stop myself)

Teaching a 5ish year old English

This video totally made me laugh out loud because it reminds me of where we were last month in teaching Sefan English. The "do exactly as I do" and the "lid, lid, lid, lid, lid" and the blank stare from Patrick (Sefan)....oh and the JOY when she finally gets it!

Sefan's language has improved soooo much in the last month! She has a large and growing vocabulary. Her sentences are 5-10 words long...though sometimes listening to her is an exercise in word scramble...you know like the ones you did as a kid....they put all the words to a sentence in a mixed up order and you have to put them into the proper order to derive the meaning of the sentence....that is Sefan. She says "My chapstick big pink dip dip put it on your lips in Ethiopia I left it." meaning "I left my big pink chapstick (the one that goes dip dip put it on your lips in Ethiopia". It takes a bit to decipher but she is learning sooo quickly. Most of this is thanks to Wubitu. The girls talk NONSTOP from waking until they are asleep, so Sefan gets A LOT of practice.
I don't know what we did without Sefan....oh wait...I remember....go crazy from Wuby's chatter! I never realized how much little girls talk until recently. The boys are more physical...they wrestle, romp, and play video games. The girls talk: tell each other what to say, how to say it, where to stand, what to wear, and on and on. For example today in the van this was the conversation
Wubitu- Sefan say "where is your chapstick"
Sefan- Where is your chapstick
Wubitu-It is at home.
(chapstick is a highly valued commadity in Sefan and wuby's world)
I remember the days before Sefan where Wuby would try to get me to say stuff like this and i would play along for about half an hour and then need to go get something done and Wuby would whine or act out for attention. But now she has Sefan to talk to all day and Sefan has Wubitu. They are seriously the BEST of FRIENDS right now and I am so glad we are finally at the point where things are settling into place. The girls still have their moments but I finally feel like their sibling rivalry is at a normal level (for basically twin 5 year old girls). I had someone tell me early on when bringing Sefan home that the intense fighting and jealously was "just life" but i don't think they understood the intensity of the situation...without living through transitioning a newly adopted preschooler into your home it is hard to understand the complexity and stress of it all. I am just glad we are making such good progress as a family now and feel like we are living our "happily ever after"

Relearning how to eat

Since I met Sefan in Ethiopia she has always been a VERY LOUD eater. She smacks her lips louder than any person I have ever met....which unfortunately is a HUGE pet peeve for me....but in this case it led to an interesting find.
As i have talked about before Sefan had SEVERE tooth decay that required extensive dental work to repair her teeth and relieve her of severe pain. What I didn't realize was that the pain had caused her to change her eating habits to avoid the pain caused by her teeth while eating. Last week when i was working with her to try to help her keep her lips closed during eating I put my hand on her lips to feel and noticed that she was not using her teeth at all. She was essentially smashing the food with her tongue against the top of her mouth and making a loud sucking clinking sound to help pummel the food. This eating behavior worked well in Ethiopia since most of the food are very very soft (injera, a soft bread and wat, a soup). However, here in America where crunchy reigns this technique is not helpful. So this week we have been trying to relearn using your teeth to eat. While eating I try to remind Sefan to move her food to the side of her mouth to chew then to the middle of her mouth to swallow. She is making progress but it is slow as can be imagined. Eating is something we do unconsciously and it takes a lot of effort to reteach something that basic.
But she is a trooper for the most part and will say " see mommy, I chew on side, then swallow"...sometimes she will hide her face from me though when she is tired of trying to eat properly because it takes so much concentration.

corn maze

Last week we took an impromptu trip to a corn maze. We were at a family reunion and decided to visit on the way home. The kids had a GREAT time.

Sefan being a goof

Noah and Wubitu......Carter called the woman space in this cut out "the lady suit" and refused to be in pictures with the lady suit on.

Getting our fill of cats! Daddy is allergic :(Here is grandma trying to explain to Wuby and Sefan that cats are not ferocious.
All loaded up for the barrel ride!

How in the world do you get 4 kids to smile at the same time?
The corn maze was really neat! They had a scavenger hunt inside the maze. If you found 4 different punches throughout the maze and punched your ticket then you got a dollar back from your admission! Since we had 4 adults it was a lot of fun because each kid got to pick their own way and lead an adult around.
Here is grandpa helping Sefan punch her ticket.

Carter and daddy leaving the corn maze with all four corners punched!!
Sefan on the hay stacks
Carter trying out the tractor
T took one look at this picture and was in awe of the sky..."why do we live in the city again?" My country boy is missing his big skies. but mommy would miss her Meijer grocery store! Oh yeah and diversity. (Noah and Carter being boys)
Wuby and Sefan queens of the haystack....and hair full of hay.
Thanks for the great time grandma and grandpa!!!

Our new CRAZY normal

The girls have been getting along FABULOUSLY now! I think it is mainly because we keep very busy now that everything is in full swing. Torrey is gone ALL week, basically I am a single stay at home mom during the week. I get the kids out of bed and put them back to bed at night while Torrey is at school and work. Torrey is hoping to finish his BA this year after 8 years of going part time we are making on final push by going full time this year. It has proven to be very difficult with the added stress of adoption transition. But I am trying to make the best my time with the kids and support Torrey as much as possible because he is so overwhelmed with his responsibilities at school and work. My number one coping mechanism has been filling our schedule with lots of activities to break up the day. Here is our schedule
Monday
Grocery shopping
Preschool
Boy's play soccer and the girls play with some friends at the soccer field
(Noah acts like he doesn't like soccer but he is really good! He just doesn't like to run alot, just short sprints)Carter LOVES soccer (but doesn't like soccer socks)!
BUT he would rather be doing this.....He is always a joker and will do anything for a laugh including teaching the other kids to play sumo soccer.
This is a game Wuby & Sefan invented. Sefan tells Wuby to run to me (about 100 yards away) and she stays where she is. Then Sefan says "na na you can't get me" and turns around to run. Then Wuby runs full force at Sefan to catch her and tackle her. Sefan is still working on muscle strength and Wuby is fast like lightning when she runs so it works out wonderfully...Sefan gets a head start and Wuby gets to run full force without upsetting Sefan because Wuby is faster and Sefan is jealous.
Tuesday
YMCA so mommy can get her workout on
Tumbling (this has be FANTASTIC for Sefan. We are learning directions: front, back, side and movement: jump, roll, slide. Most importantly we are learning that we have to listen to the teacher and it is okay if you don't get it the first time...it takes practice. At first she would melt into a little ball on the floor and say "I can't" but we are working on perseverance.This has been great for her abdominal strength too as she learns to sit up after each roll which is a struggle for Sefan.
Back to the Y for mommy to work in the evening. I am usually very thankful for this break :)
Wednesday
Dance
Preschool for both girls. I usually get to roller blade 6-10 miles during this time and then come home to do some laundry and dishes. It really is a much needed break as by Wednesday I am usually very very worn out.

Thursday
YMCA to work the booty again
Swimming lessons (they LOVE swimming lessons....the first class though Sefan pulled the "I'm scared" trick (it really means I don't want to do this because I can't get it perfect the first time..so I quit) and tried to sit out the entire class so she could ask distracting questions to the instructor. But mean mommy put her back in the water after 5 minutes and said "Sefan do it"...and wouldn't you know she made some great improvement.)
Wubitu has learned so much from swim lessons so far, she is a little fish! Sefan is really working hard on gaining muscle strength and confidence.
After school we go to the library together for a few hours to pick new movies and books.
Carter then has football after dinner (we all play soccer while he practices)
Friday
Preschool for Wubitu and Suki shopping for mommy and Sefan.
So our schedule is jam packed and we LOVE it!
Please forgive me if I don't get emails and phone calls returned ASAP...I really love ya, just a bit overwhelmed right now....29 more weeks of school for T.

Age......who knew it could be so complicated?

I have been kind of quiet on here and on Facebook because we have had a lot to think about. The agency that processed Sefan ,s adoption followed up for us with Sefan.s actual birthdate. We did not get to meet a member of Sefan's birthfamily in ET because their was some communication breakdown. I was told several times the first week that she would arrive on Thursday....Thursday came and went and they said that they forgot to call her. It is 360 miles from Sefan,s birthplace to the orphanage in the capital city so I was told it would take a few days for her to arrive after they made contact. Unfortunately she never made it to see me. I am very sad we missed this important meeting because we have so very little background information on Sefan. Seriously at this point we have 2 sentences and now a birthdate. I am thankful, however for the birthdate and thankful that the agency did follow up as promised with this very important information.
Now for the complicated part. Sefan,s birth certificate says that she turned 3 a few weeks ago. We knew from the start that this was incorrect but thought that maybe it was just a year off or so. However, come to find out Sefan is really exactly 1 year younger than Carter....EXACTLY...the same birthdate but one year later. So that means she is almost 5 and a half.
There are several ways that this is complicated
1) 2 of the 4 kids now share a birthdate!
2) 3 of the 4 kids now have an exact birthdate which means that 1 doesn,t
3) According to the estimated Birthdate of Wubitu and the exact birthdate of Sefan, Sefan is 6 months OLDER than Wubitu.
4) Wubitu may actually be older than Sefan but since we do not have an exact BD for her we may never know.
5) With her age Sefan should be entering Kindergarten in the fall for sure. She will turn 7 before the end of Kindergarten next year. If we wait another year she will be 8 in K and 16 in 8th grade (biologically)
6) Sefan has a LONG way to go to catch up to Wubitu as far as language, academics, fine and gross motor skills.

So all of this has me in a panic of sorts. We haven,t really shared this with the kids yet because of #2, #4....Not sure what do to exactly...

So last week we started to do some very formal letter teaching to try to catch Sefan up. And well....she can recognize 3 letters but she cannot write them at all (the fine motor issues again). It is so overwhelming for both me and HER. She is still learning the difference between up and down, front and back, bread and english muffin, toe and finger....and somehow in the midst of all of this she has to learn the alphabet, what these strange things are, what they look like, sound like, etc. I feel bad for her really....I just hope we can make the strides we need to make in the next 11 months.

Something broke my heart today.

My friend Amanda is in Ethiopia right now picking up her daughter Samry (her son Teshe was in the same Care Center as Wubitu). She posted today about a little girl at her daughter's orphanage who wrote her a letter while she was there.
http://afamilywithoutborders.blogspot.com/2009/09/monday-morning.html

This touched my heart so deeply.