Day 7
I took some sleeping pills last night because I have not had a good night sleep in at least a week. Just a warning to future travelers: the beds are basically a short box spring. This spoiled American is having trouble adjusting to the hard mattress after sleeping on my pillowtop bed at home. After 12 hours of sleep I finally feel at least 80% today! We went to spend the day with Webitu today at her school but she immediately pointed to the door because she didn't want to stay. When we tried to take her into the story room she went limp and gave daddy the grumpy face. He took her out of the building and a car happened to arrive to drop someone off. She insisted that we leave in it immediately. So we brought her back to the Guest house to play. She had a wonderful time playing and eating tons of fruit again. She really is a bundle of energy and smiles. We also got to see the 3 year old in her today. She was showing off her monster fits a lot today. She throws herself on the floor and kicks her feet and takes her shoes off and throws them and spits on you! We are trying to stop it now by ignoring her and playing fun things to get her to come back to play. They are getting shorter but she is definitely stubborn sometimes. She is really attached to mommy today and gives daddy the grumpy look when he comes near. I think we literally had 30 fits today, I know it will get better but it is very exhausting. Daddy stayed with Webitu at the Guest House while I took the trip to the museum. It only cost 10 birr ($1.10 or so) The first floor has robes of the former royalty of Ethiopia and the throne of the former Emperor. The basement houses Lucy the oldest "human" which was found in Ethiopia. My favorite was the top floor which held beautiful paintings of the Ethiopian people and hand tools that were used in the past or may still be used by the very poor in the Ethiopian countryside. I really enjoyed the paintings by the local Ethiopian artists that were for sale.
After the museum we ate and played with Webitu for awhile until bedtime. Her favorite things to do are jump off the couch and throw the blocks around (the daddies even like to play throw the blocks when nobody is watching). Bedtime was frustrating again. Webitu threw a monster fit and took ALL of her clothes off and lay on the floor spitting. After her fit was over she refused to put her clothes back on. So we played awhile but finally decided she had to at least put her underware on. This caused another LOUD monster fit but she cried herself to sleep. International adoption of an older child is not for the faint of heart! It is exhausting, often daunting, and frustrating. Webitu speaks Kembatisa mixed with Amharic so sometimes even the nannies do not understand what she wants. Navigating the language barrier along with the emotional minefield of being 3 years old, in addition to them trying to adjusting to new parents who have different expectations, exhausting for both the child and the parents. It will all be worth it though. All parenting is hard at first. The adjustment isn't always fun but it is so worth it to see your little one sleep with their long eyelashes touching and sweet little lips in a pucker. I know when she wakes up she will know that one more day has passed and my mommy and daddy are still here no matter how many fits or things broken from the day before…they love me.
Day 8
Webitu woke up happy as always. She tried to get up at 1:30am but daddy shut the lights back off and she fell back asleep, yeah! Today is the going away ceremony at the Care Center. Normally the children would have already been at the Care Center and ready but most of the families kept their children overnight last night (for future travelers, you can take your children into custody at any time but you need to okay it with your social worker in Ethiopia …you cannot take them with you on the day trips though). When we arrived they took the
children upstairs to dress them in their traditional Ethiopian clothes (they will give you the clothes they came in back, and you get to keep the Ethiopian clothes). Then the nannies bring the children down. The older children were chanting the Webitu's name as she came down,
which made her beam and giggle. Then the film crew video tapes each family member giving a thank you to the Care Center or talking about their experience in Ethiopia. They pass out a large heart with each child's name on it to the parents. Inside is a message from the
nannies about how much they loved the child and well wishes for the future. The Nannies then put the children in the middle of the room and the parents and nannies gather around them. A staff member says a prayer in Amharic and then a parent volunteers to pray for the
children. Then the children join their families. Then the older children (3 and up) are called up to cut the cake. They pass the cake around along with pop to the parents, children, and other children watching the ceremony. Then each family is called up to take individual video shots. Finally each child is called up to put their hand print on the wall. It was all very touching…CHSFS does a wonderful job. I believe this ceremony is included in the video that is sent home with us on Thursday! After the ceremony we came back to the Guest house for lunch and then
quickly off to the U.S. Embassy to apply for our children's immigrant visas. First you proceed through a tin storage locker thing where you pass through the first metal detectors, then you wait on benches outside under a tent to pass through the next secrurity check point. You will have to take watches and belts off if they contain metal. Then you have to test each liquid you bring in by drinking it in front of the people. No cell phone or items with batteries. They
confiscated Webitu's toy phone because it had batteries (we picked it up after the appointment). Next we walk to another building to wait downstairs for our appointment. They have a small play area inside for the children and a TV! We got to watch the Notebook while we
waited. Then Marta will come down for each family when our names are called (you can't really understand the loudspeaker when they call names.) Normally they ask very basic questions like was you child in an orphanage, etc. Each family went through with no problem and we were last….woudn't you guess it…we almost didn't make it though. When they called us up they were not happy with our paperwork because they say that a family cannot abandon their child unless they are an infant. Since Webitu just turned 3 they were not going to approve our visa because the US could not consider her an orphan. So we waited for 45 minutes while the embassy contacted Ato. Asnaka at the CHS office. This was agonizing as we contemplated the possibility of the US not letting our daughter come home. I couldn't imagine leaving this little girl here and I have been so home sick I don't think I could spend any more time here waiting out the legal storm. I kept thinking about Noah & Carter and how they would feel for us to be gone so long and waiting out this process for 1 &1/2 years and still not having the little sister they prayed for so much. I couldn't fathom not bringing this little girl home, someone who will fit perfectly
into our family..that God had hand picked for us from before time began. We prayed and our friends Tom & Nikki prayed for us. They finally called us up to talk to a higher up who explained the US definition of an orphan. He asked if we had met the family and we explained the condition of her father when we met him and that it was very clear to us that he had no expectation from us other than pictures in the post placement reports and that if we were to not
adopt Webitu that any other family could do so. They finally had us redo our paperwork saying that she had no parents since she was abandoned and approved us. They also had 4 other families refile their paperwork with the same change. I know God chose us to be the ones who were stopped because He would help us to handle the situation in the way he would have wanted it handled. They had the same issue with 4 other families but we were the ones they stopped. God has truly been with us and He did not abandon us. In 2 days we will be on
our way HOME with our little girl! After the Embassy (we were there 3 hours with our little fiasco) we stopped at the Sheraton to confirm our flights. They have an airline office where they give you a number and you wait for an agent to get with you. By this time I had been overly stimulated by Miss Webitu and her fits at the Embassy (at least 10 rolling on the floor spitting, kicking ones for various silly reasons) and her not wanting anything to do with Daddy. Daddy took her against her will and let me have a little stroll alone. They were playing good old American Country Music and Christmas music in the lobby which made me so very
homesick! It is amazing how you don't realize what your "culture" is until you away from home and start to miss the little things. Anyway, after a little retail therapy I was ready to care for little Webitu again. Everyone was exhausted so we headed home for some dinner and
Torrey promised to take care of Webitu for the rest of the night. I straightened out our room upstairs for awhile and read the children's books I bought at the Sheridan (45 birr and 25 birr). Then I fell asleep at 7:00 from pure exhaustion. I didn't even wake up when
Webitu came in searching under the covers saying "mommy, mommy". She got her PJ's on happily for daddy and they played peek-a-boo with the blankets until she passed out. Having 2 adults here is very important. I could have never done this without Torrey!
Day 9
Today I woke at 5am from last night early bedtime. I really enjoyed the time to think about our little girl in our home with the boys. Webitu woke up at 6:15…I don't know how I am going to adjust when we get home since most people know it is a stretch for me to get up by 8. I finally felt 100% and was happy to play with my little girl. She is learning many English words but I think we have learned an equal amount of Amharic. Right now she says: mommy, papa, bye bye, thank you, baby, bump (road construction), and hi (when she talking on the play phone). We know Jamas (shoes), Dabo (bread), wad e sha low (I love you), boutka (fruit), coy (wait), and shenet, sheet, sheeno (for going to the bathroom) Many of these words may not be clear Amharic since the nannies told us she often blends the Amharic with Kambatisa. Most of our communication is by hand singnals and faces. She waves
her hand no and smiles and nods for yes. When she is mad she gives a grumpy face and hides her face from you. She is always jabbering in Amharic/Kambatisa but I feel really bad that I have no clue what she is saying. Occasionally the driver with be able to tell us what she
is saying but often we have no clue. Today we thought we had a free day but the van picked us up and had us take our discharge papers back to the doctor. We showed Dr. Ferhiwot Webitu's crusty red eye and they gave her some ointment for an eye infection. The doctor told me that Webitu was very scared that they would take her away from her Mommy and daddy but she assured Webitu that she was with us forever. You could tell she was very uncomfortable because she clung to me for dear life. While we were waiting for the vans to pick us back up
Webitu pricked her finger on something and became a major drama queen. She showed everyone her tiny ouchy and all the nannies smothered her with kisses. You can tell that she was well loved by everyone as they knew her name and called her over to them. Next we went on a tour of the projects CHSFS-Ethiopia have been working on the better the Ethiopian community. First we saw the new Woman and Children's center that opened 8 or so weeks ago. The doctor said that they have had 45 women come to deliver since they opened. It is very affordable to deliver at the new facility (180 birr or about $20!) To stay in a room It is only 45 birr per night or $5) They have an operating room for C-sections, a pharmacy, a lab for basic bloodwork, an ultrasound room and are starting to be equipped for a NICU. There were several women there for doctor's appointments. Next we went to the CHS academy. They started construction in November and have a few students who have begun classes. The rooms are small as to keep the class size down. The cost of this private school is around $500 per year. They hope to get sponsors for the poor children in Addis so that at least half of the children are on scholarship. They are also building a large auditorium for the students to use during the week and to rent out on the weekend to help sustain the school financially. This school costs around the same as other government run facilities that are over populated but substantially less than many of the private schools in the area. The school is outfit with 2 computer labs, and a library. The children are taught Amharic, English, Mathematics, Environmental science
(including physical and social sciences) and Aesthetics (art, music, and P.E.) It is very exciting to see CHS reach out to the community at large. I know there are many more projects out in the wings from CHS-ET and the community is greatful. On the way home we stopped at Webitu's school and she clung desparately to Torrey. Everyone took a tour to see the playroom, classrooms, and playground. On the way back Webitu finally stepped into the van without freaking out if we were not holding her. She is slowly becoming sure that we are not going to leave her, I know it will be a very long process but it is good to see a little bit of progress even if we will go through it all again when we get back home. So far we have had only 3 short fits today! I am starting to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! She is so sweet! Nita, her friend from school who is being adopted now too, taught her how to use the baby stroller and they had a lot of fun pushing their babies around. We gave Webitu her first bath today and it was good to wash the Orphanage smell out of her hair. She loves her little head bands and I love to put hair lotion in her tight little curls. She struts in front of the mirror when she puts on a new outfit like a supermodel, however, I cannot get her to put a skirt on. She like to critique my clothes and will wave her hand no if she doesn't like what I am wearing…what a diva! If I could understand most of what she is saying I would guess she is bossing me around. She is very particular about who does what for her and will not accept a tissue from papa if she asked mommy to do it. She likes to stay neat and clean and spends quite a lot of time wiping the crumbs from her dabbo off of her pants and mine. She can blow her nose all by herself and peel her own banana! I can't believe we have been given such a sweet wonderful little girl! I can't wait to bring her home…I am sure she will have some sort of show for you! WE LEAVE TOMMORROW!!!!!!!