So I woke up Monday and the headaches are gone so far PTL!!! Catching up from a full week of inactivity is next to impossible but I am working at it! Thank you to Nikki for this awesome picture!!! I really thought I was losing my mind!!! I am so glad to have found it again! Though I think this sounds like a great place to camp!!!

I tried my hand at veils this week. This is day 3 for veils and they have held up quite nicely. We only have fuzz in the front where her hair is really short. This style has held up better than ANY other style that I have attempted thus far. Check out www.shuruba.com for instructions!!

Carter had a fun day today celebrating the big 5!
We went to the zoo with the "little kids" even though it was FREEZING!!! The geese were really hungry and kept following us around. Wubitu would get freaked out and say "Mommy, mommy pick me up coo ca loo chase me!" We got to pet the cutest baby goats and the plethora of peacocks.

I can't believe it but my baby boy turns 5 today!!! Carter has been a great joy in our lives. He was the HAPPIEST baby and is the goofiest little boy! He will do anything twice (or 20 X) to get a good laugh. My favorite quirk about Carter is that he laughs histerically at anything when he is tired. He is my little cuddly guy!

I remember seeing the imprint of Carter's foot as he stretched out in my tummy quite forcefully. This picture was taken 2 days before I went in for a our scheduled C-section.

So the headaches came back last week starting on Monday. I dealt rather well with it until Friday when I completely lost all semblance of sanity. The headache is honestly not as bad as not knowing how to get rid of it and wondering if this is what my life will be like forever. Literally crying was the only way to relieve the pain so at one point I actually pinched myself really hard so that it would hurt and I could cry to relieve the pressure in my head...this made me think that I might be losing my mind....which helped to sustain the crying for an hour..relieving the pressure for about 10 minutes and then the pain would come back. So after trying all the previous things including the suggestions about magnesium, fiber, caffine, I couldn't be rid of the headaches so I kind of lost it. There is nothing worse than losing hope that you will ever feel better. I climbed in my closet to cry for a long time, until Torrey came to hold me and tell me that I would be okay....assured me that it probably isn't a brain tumor (it got that bad), I was not crazy, and we would figure it out together. The pain is dull most of the time behind my eyes like I am extremely exhausted even when I have 10 hours of sleep, it gets sharper when the kids are around and NEVER goes away on any medication.
So here is my list of possible reasons for the headaches:
1) eye strain
2) exhaustion
3) PADS
4) brain tumor
5) allergies
6) stress
7) dehydration
8) weight gain
9) unresolved emotional strain
10) Mono?
So I am going to give it one more week of trying to pinpoint the reason before heading to the doctor (who will likely say that she has no idea what it is without expensive tests).
Due to the headaches, please excuse my bad friend behaviors this week as I missed some playdates, didn't return emails, and poorly organized Anna J's meals for her new baby girl!

Just thought I would share! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me over the last 2 weeks! The emotional rollercoaster of a possible pregnancy was really laying very heavily on my heart. It is not that I wouldn't have been excited to have another bio child but the prospect of a 4th misscarriage scared me to death! I don't think that I can handle an another emotional blow of that magnitude. Read into this as much as you are comfortable but we are going to be officially done having the possiblity of more bio children (and misscarriages) soon. This week brought back ALOT of emotions from losing our 3 little ones that I felt were somewhat "erased" by our new daughter....it is quite apparent that they were only "covered."

Wubitu's hair is getting longer (about 4 inches pulled out straight) so I decided to try my hand at beads and snaps. I checked out snapaholics.com and shuruba.com where many adoptive parents get supplies but the total quickly added up to a YIKES moment for me so my mission for yesterday was to find out if I could find these items here in town. After a 4 hour search the Sally Beauty supply lady sent me to the 99 cents and more store. To my amazement there was an an entire aisle of beads and snaps of the same brand as these websites offer but for only 99 CENTS (instead of $2.50 plus shipping!!) So after a 2 hour braiding and beading session, to her delight we do not have to comb her hair out for the rest of the week!!!!

I have been going back and forth for a full year now on whether to send Carter to Kindergarten in the fall. His birthday is April 29th so if we were to go next year we would be one of the youngest children in his class. I have a few qualms about this: 1) I went to school early (September birthday) and always felt like I was socially behind...now I don't know if this is because I am basically a social misfit (still am) or because I was a full year younger than some of the other children 2) Noah started K at age 6 and Wubitu will almost be 6....if Carter is working at grade level through school and Noah & Wubitu are working above grade level will it make Carter think that he isn't as smart as his siblings? 3) he still takes a 1-2 hour nap everyday and our school system only offers all day Kindergarten....will he be able to adjust or will he be a zombie for the next school year? 4) in High School he will be one of the last to drive 5) Another year of growth can help him become an even bigger football player. Obviously these last 2 are not super important but I wanted to add a few superficials.
So other this and thats: OCD ME likes the idea of having a 5th, 3rd, and 1st grader...nice and orderly...however, Noah & Carter are almost 3 years apart in age but this would make them only 2 years apart in grade (good/bad...I'm not sure)
Now I am sure he is ready academically...knows all letter and sounds, can count to 50, recognizes numbers up to 20, starting to read "sight words" and he has quite a lot of friends at school and church...no trouble in the social department so far. Plus his best friend Carter W. from church is applying to our magnet school so they could be in the same class.
So last night at the PTA meeting a cornered a poor defenseless Kindergarten teacher to ask her opinion. As I presented my endless psychobabble to the sweet lady...I realized how crazy she must think I am. I am imagining the "oh...one of those parents" flags going up, but instead she was very nice and said that with 2 years of Pre school he is probably ready for school and offered to let Carter shadow her class for a day!!!! So we will see how that goes. I could use any insight people have...please insert your opinions/advice by clicking on the "comments" link at the end of this post...that means you....I am desparate for more elements to ponder in my endless quandry over school readiness! If you stop reading my blog, I understand....Ramblings of a crazy, obsessed mom, with too much tea & chocolate (thanks for the caffeine suggestions), with too much psych training, and an internet habit is kind of scary.

This week was Spring Break for the kids and we did alot of Noah's favorite activity....absolutely nothing. He really just likes to veg at home and play Wii and Toon town or Webkinz. While I tried to overcome my crazy headaches the first half of the week we just stayed home. Tuesday my friend Erin invited us to see the Chipmunks at the $1 theatre. The kids absolutely loved it which inspired the dance party depicted below:

We still like to Move It, Move IT!!!

Please try to block out Noah's incessant screaming in the background of the next video.

He was sitting in time-out because he refused to say "I am sorry" for accidently hitting Destiny in stomach with his elbow. He was allowed to get up at any time as long as he grunted a simple sorry in her direction but absolutely refused to do so.....for at least 30 minutes. During this time he tried to say anything but "sorry" to get out including....I am going to make a big mess and you are going to have to clean it up.....You are not going to be able to adopt any more children because I am going to tell the people that you made me sit in time out.....You are the meanest mommy ever......I am going to tell daddy you are so mean and he is going to put you in time out....You are so mean......You don't have to say sorry for accidently elbowing someone in the stomach...etc.

Finally he gave in when he realized that none of the above statements bothered me and I would not give in to his emotional badgering and he wrote a note saying "Sorry" to Destiny (because he absolutely refused to let those words come out of his mouth for this particular situation).....Oh the joys of parenthood. The biggest issue is that he is way too much like I was at that age... stubborn...stubborn...stubborn....oh yeah and he know it ALL. Now I get to psychoanalyze myself to figure out how to deal with a little me.

So He is much better now with smiles, hugs, and I love yous freely flowing. Later after he settled down I asked if he still wanted another little sister he said that he did...he was just mad. Carter then exclaimed that he wanted 2 more sisters (shocking! I know).

To finish off Spring Break I took 5 children to the Shot Clinic to finish thier last round of Hep A and Wubitu's 2nd round of shots. They were very quick the last time Wubitu went in (20 minutes) Unfortunately they were apparently overwhelmed by the number in our party and kept sending people who arrived behind us through so we spent 3 agonizing hours there. Interestingly enough the kids were begging for thier shots by then so they could just go home!!! Carter got angry because Wubitu got to go first, Noah freaked out after he saw the drop of blood from Carter's shot and we had a 10 minute stand off before he gave in. Destiny was actually very compliant this time and Landon was in his own little world. With aching arms and legs, I treated them all to McDonalds which lifted thier spirits.

Friday night, Wubitu sang us a sweet (Ethiopian we think) lulliby


The Ethiopian Restaurant in our hometown opened on Saturday! We all enjoyed some yummy injera after Noah's soccer game!

Carter found a great way to hide his carrots!

And Wubitu thought it was a GREAT IDEA!!!!

Okay, Okay someone take my Digital Camera away!!!!

I think the source of my headaches stemmed partly from the accumulation of weeks worth of lack of sleep lately. The headache has been self-perpetuating as I am so tired and grouchy that the vibration of the bed from my own heart beat annoys me so much that I can't sleep making me sleepier and more grouchy the next night....I am a freak...I know. So I finally cracked the headaches with MAX strength Midol. I think it is the extra caffine in it that is getting me through the day. So does this mean that I am now in a constant state of PMS? I guess I am willing to admit this as long as I feel better. Maybe this druggy will try to wein off the meds and switch to some good old fashioned coffee (Bluckckkkk!) or soda (double Bluckkckk blucckkk!) Torrey just says "welcome to the adult world"....the world where everyone is dependant on Caffine....I think God is trying to teach me another lesson in humilty as I have prided myself on the fact that I can make it through the day without a caffine addiction. I now concede that it in my new state of affairs the little caffine kick in the pants really does help. Anybody have any low cal or even good tasting sources of caffine ideas for an anti-soda, anti-coffee chick?

Wubitu likes to wear her smimoot! Torrey thought she was saying smoooosh me daddy over and and over again....so he kept saying....hold on I will smooosh you later (he thought she wanted a big smoooshy hug). Really she is excited that my friend Dee gave her 6 hand me down bathing suits and she has been begging to go swimming all week.

I am going on week 2 of massive headaches with no end in sight. Please keep praying for me....I desprately need it. We are still working on bonding with Wubitu but it is 1,000x harder when all you want to do is climb back in bed and never come out. I have tried many "natural" approaches like increasing my water intake, 60 minutes of exercise a day, cut out most sugars, taking mutivitamines, 9 hours of sleep a day but the headache is still there the moment I open my eyes. I never ever take any over the counter meds but I have started trying all different kinds to help me function enough until Torrey gets home.