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Mommy Conferences

2010-08-27T10:09:00.001-04:00

Now that the kids are back to school (except Sifan...she has another week off), I am starting to miss the kids (a weee bit). With 4 little ones who need attention in a short period of time before bed; we needed something new. I ~~flopped on the couch~~ stumbled upon something; everyday I hit my midday slump around 4. Unfortunately this coincides with when the kids get home from school. As I snuggled up on the couch with my giant Bubba keg of tea, Wubitu snuggled up against me to read a book and tell me about her day. Light bulb flashing brightly....each kid got a turn with mommy all by themselves where we went through their papers, read a book, and talked about anything they wanted for 15-20 minutes. By the end my mind and body were restored to their former caffeinated state where making dinner was a possibility without feeling like curling in a little ball on the floor between stirring various pots. The level of calm in the house has increased exponentially. Wubitu was even "nice" to Sifan without prompting on the way to Zumba afterward :) (usually she is ALL ABOUT Wubitu and being first or getting the most) The combination of everyone getting time away at school and individual time with mom at home has helped to provide a much needed buffer that was lacking over the summer as their personalities grated against one another. Plus, I feel like I did my "mommy job" and know what is going on in their lives. Now ~~keeping tea from shooting out of my nose~~ dealing with what I hear in mommy conferences is another story ;)

Preschool fashionista

2010-08-23T14:53:00.000-04:00

I should have known when one of the first things translated to me from Sifan in Ethiopia is that she wanted to buy high heeled shoes... She is a true fashion diva. She stands in front of the mirror after 5 outfit changes critiquing her reflection from multiple angles. Sometimes finding the "right" outfit according to Sifan can take a full hour and might involve Sifan's personal alteration like a pony tail holder in the back of the shirt to hold her t-shirt tight against her tummy so that her sparkly pink belt can show. Many times she has complete melt downs reminiscent of a teenager if she can't get her appearance to exactly match her own standard of beauty. After one such fit I asked her what she wanted them to look like and why she was pulling her shirt in so tight and sucking her tummy in. In tears she took me to her new back pack that had Sleeping Beauty on it and told me that she wanted her shirt to be like Sleeping Beauty's. (for the record Sleeping Beauty wears a pink dress with a fitted bodice...this is what she was trying to achieve...the fitted bodice with a t-shirt) It hit me then that she was using Disney Princesses for fashion ideals. She even told me about the discussion she had with Carter about whether the other princesses had long loosly attached sleeves or long gloves and high heels. She was paying close attention to those princesses. So while the big kids are at school all day; we did a special project of going through the Sunday ads to find the outfits she liked, cut them out, and pasted them in her "Fashion Journal". Hopefully this will help her to be more comfortable with the clothes they sell in stores circa 2010 ;)

Back to myself

2010-08-13T12:14:00.000-04:00

It has been a very very very long time since I have last blogged. The truth is I had to take a step out of the cyber adoption world to find ME again. I ceased looking at message boards, blogs, yahoo groups, etc. for the entire summer and honestly it was much needed. The online adoption world is a wealth of information that I am sooo very thankful for. Without it I would have been lost and anxious about so many facets of adoption: travel, paperwork, citizenship, attachment, ethics, transition, PADS, etc. However with it can come drama, in the form of passionate discussions on message boards, or scathing comments on blogs and intense personal messages on facebook or sent through emails. After 3 1/2 years I needed to take a step back from what had become an addiction; something that took over a larger portion of my life than I could afford to forfeit. That is not to say that I am turning a blind eye to the continuing issues of Ethiopian adoption but that I am content to get the cliff notes version from the many close cyber friends I have made in this journey. So while I am bowing out of the "drama" I am greatful that I get to keep these precious relationships that have been a life line for me through this incredible season in my life.

So in giving up my cyber drama I was able to replace it with an old friend, a good book. I have been voraciously tearing through series after series this summer. Concentrating on saucy vampires and valient fauns has done wonders in helping me to purge all of the anxiety, anger, and fear that was pent up from our last adoption.

I also developed a pretty intense affinity for Zumba. Monday, Thursday, and Friday I enjoy getting my groove on; for sure my hips have learned a few new tricks and I can shake a booty like nobody's business :). I always leave with a smile on my face and return home to some ice for the knees...(old lady). Redirecting my anxiety from food and computer potatoedom to books and exercise has helped me to find my old pre-adoption body too. Losing the 25 lbs. of adoption weight, I am thankful that I can now fit back into my old clothes. Jeans!!! The cookie pants have now been retired...hopefully for good.

My relationship with the girls has been FABULOUS for the most part. We have fallen into a good routine and I have learned how to keep them busy. This is a difficult task because they are not ones who enjoy playing with toys. It seems so wrong by American standards for children but they really enjoy cleaning. If I give them a choice of watching a movie, playing Barbies (brushing their hair), coloring (which they enjoy), or sweeping the dining room floor...they will pick sweeping every single time. This is something they fight over actually, who gets to sweep. So I have let my OCD about cleaning go a bit and let them have at it. They are always so proud when they are done and like to make a game of making sure that the house is clean before Daddy gets home (with absolutely no prompting from me). Seriously, who can complain about the extra help. We have also worked very hard all year teaching the girls to read. I am not one who enjoys playing on the floor with Barbies, and babies so it took awhile to find an activity that was mutually enjoyable. They really like to learn and I really like to teach. We started with letters in October and Sight words in mid-May. Each girls gets 30-40 mintues of uninterrupted mommy time almost every day as we work on reading. Both girls have really flourished. Both can read over 100 words by sight and they can both sound out new words that are 3-4 letters long. They are so proud of their new reading ability and will spend hours reading their books on their own. We also worked on cartwheels and hand stands (yep, I still can do them with ease...as long as I can keep my feet away from the ceiling fan). We are still working on round offs, one handed cartwheels and backbends (these make me feel very very old). Though Sifan who had zero strength in her abs, arms, and shoulders last year at homecoming can now hold a back bridge for 2 full minutes :). Sifan is TENACIOUS!!! She is a year younger than Wubitu so things that come easily to Wubitu at age 6 are not so easy for Sifan. However, she makes up for it in resolve. It took Wubitu about 6 hours of practice in one day to learn the cartwheel (remember they don't play with toys or watch tv much so this is what they chose to do...there was endless, mommy watch me requests the entire time). For Sifan it took 3 hours a day for 3 months to learn to do a cartwheel...she NEVER gave up...even when I told her that maybe she should wait until she is 6 like Wubitu to try. I invested in a gym mat because I thought they would pound a hole in the living room floor. On top of the hours of practice at home, everywhere we walked Sifan was trying to turn her cartwheel and her practice finally paid off. Seriously world watch out for this one....you don't want to get in her way :).

Wubitu will be starting Kindergarten in a week along with Carter going into 1st grade and Noah 4th. Wubitu is soooo very excited about being a big girl. Sifan will be going to preschool 5 days a week for half days and the other half we have enrolled her in a YMCA enrichment program because she so very badly wanted to go all day like the other kids. This was our compromise since she wasn't going to Kindergarten :) (trying to keep the girls in separate grades since they are 1 year apart).

So we have reached a new season in our lives, with all of the kids in school all day. Life is so different when you youngest is 5....a very good different. I am glad to be finding me again and shedding the "adoption me" that was so anxious, and scared, worrying about my daughters far away in questionable circumstances and their development here at home. It is good to finally be just about raising 4 fabulous children with an awesome husband who can finally come home every night for dinner :).

Zipity Do Da- Wuby and Sifan

2010-05-24T09:31:00.000-04:00

Circus Tumbling

2010-05-24T09:30:00.001-04:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I Just Can't Wait To Be King

2010-05-23T22:38:00.001-04:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Get on the Bus-Wuby and Sifan

2010-05-23T22:13:00.000-04:00

Dance recital

2010-05-23T21:41:00.001-04:00

This was Sifan's first dance recital :) She was sooo excited but didn't really understand what we meant by recital even after her 2nd dance she kept asking when we were going to the recital.....dancing is what she does all the time ;)

Their first routine was a tumbling act to Lion King's "I Just Can't Wait To Be King"

Next a little "Skipity Do Da". The girls have been BEGGING to wear this costume. I had to hide it in my closet.

A little "Get on the Bus" from the Doodlebops show. This outift reminded me of the CRAZY get up that we had my senior year of Accents (flag corp..whatever people call it). We had these sequined silver skirts over full spandex suits...and we ripped the skirts off and danced with them...oh public schools...oy). Anyhow this is called the alien baked potato look. The girls giggled hysterically when they had to put this on.

The last act was a circus tumbling act. In the bathroom an older lady told Sifan that she liked her hair. Sifan looked the lady right in the eye very very seriously and said, "this is not my REAL hair". She repeated herself several times because she did NOT want anyone to think she would really have hair like this.

It was a bit crazy with 4 costume and 3 hair changes. We forgot the white tights so T had to run all the way home but by the time he got back I had already borrowed some from some sweet girls in the bathroom (THANK YOU!!!!). It made the recital go very very fast but we were all sad to miss so many of our friends dance :(.
Videos to follow later :)

Recent Events

2010-05-13T17:36:00.000-04:00

Things have been busy as usual here in the Ehrman house. Sifan & Carter celebrated their birthday together. Sifan turned 5 and Carter 7 on April 29th. They really enjoyed sharing in the celebration. It really didn't bother either of them to have a party together. They are the sweetest pair really.

We had planned on having a big backyard barbecue but changed the venue to a gymnastics center because of the rain. The kids had a fantastic time. They did an obstacle course, balance beam walks to jump in the foam pit, and trampoline tricks

The boys have taken up Lacrosse

T opted to not go through formal graduation ceremonies. Instead we went to Applebee's for dinner.

A fun trip to the zoo with some friends.

Kinky Curly Curling Custard & Birthday Hair

2010-04-27T21:03:00.000-04:00

My friend Dee let me have some of her Kinky Curly Curling Custard (KCCC) to try out before I "invested" in it myself. {DEE YOU ROCK BTW} Well, I loved it at first but it didn't weigh Wuby's hair down as much as i would have liked!!! KCCC is a curl definer, it prevents massive shrinkage during drying and leave nice moisturized curls when it air dries. Today I co-washed (washed with conditioner) Wuby & Sifan's hair and brushed the conditioner through. Rinsed the hair and lightly wrung it out. Then I added the KCCC and brushed it through root to tip. Then let it air dry. This is what Wuby's hair looked like 3 hours later (mostly dry).

I missed most of the top of her hair so I rewet with a detangling spray and brushed more KCCC through those parts. The final result still had a lot more shrinkage than I liked. However, her curls were well defined with minimal frizz. I like KCCC but Wuby feels 'weird" wearing it this way after wearing it in 1 or 2 ponytails for most of the last year. I isn't the wonder cream I was hoping for but it does help to have another hairstyle under our belts that is easy and fast without damaging the hair by pulling, heat, or chemicals

Sifan has been begging for "shakies" but we have been too busy and her hair is still rather short. So for her birthday that is coming up on Thursday we did her first box twists with beads. She sat very still and watched TV for the first hour and a half. then she played computer for another hour and a half while I work. Wuby was a great help in stringing our beaders.

Easter Parts 2 & 3

2010-04-19T13:42:00.000-04:00

Just got around to uploading these pictures :) Easter weather was FAB-U-LOUS here! Unfortunately I did not get pics of our family together at church on Sunday morning all dressed up :( When we picked Carter up from his class he had somehow smashed his face into a table playing speed stackers and was bleeding from his mouth and nose :(.
Sifan had a wonderful first Easter. She is so cute trying to figure out all of our holidays. She kept saying Easter is going to bring me _______ (insert favorite Barbie toy or movie). She had a great time hunting for eggs at Grandma and Grandpa's house (2 times).

The end of our adoption journey....

2010-04-16T09:43:00.000-04:00

To be completely honest my lack of posting has been largely due to the overwhelming jumble of thoughts and emotions that would make the airy and light posts seem unauthentic. I have been very very open about ALL of the steps of our adoption journeys until what seemed like the end of Sifan's adoption. So much has gone on behind the scenes that I cannot share on this blog, things that involve other families, our daughters' backgrounds, agencies' behaviors past and present, and ethics in Ethiopian adoption. I am very conflicted as I am a wear your emotions on your sleeve type of girl who will talk about anything. However, the circumstances that have arisen in the last year have brought up a lot of issues and thoughts that could only be written as a rough draft....things that I am constantly researching and revising and may never be ready to put out for a final print. Adoption doesn't seem to lend it self to a period...end of story as I first thought it would. Child home, child adjusted is not the end of the story. Adoption is so complex. Children grow up into teenagers who question and adults who contemplate. I can only imagine that the questions and concerns I have now will only be the tip of the iceberg of the issues my daughters will bring up when they are old enough to think about and understand the complexities of adoption and their background. I will try to keep this blog as "real" as I can but I am sure that I will likely be erring on the side of superficial at least in cyberspace ;)

Being content, Celebrating the blessings, and Refocusing

2010-04-15T09:44:00.000-04:00

This weekend we will officially take our house off of the market. To be completely honest we are happy with this decision. We have had a few very interested parties but everyone lacked the credit needed to purchase and we were not comfortable becoming landlords. So we are staying put for awhile. I am glad we went through the process though, mainly we have made so many wonderful improvements that we LOVE our house. Improvements that I don't think we would have invested in if we were not trying to sell. Even just decluttering and reorganizing our home has made a significant difference in the amount of space we have. Our only qualms are 1) the bathroom issue (1 bathroom to 6 people) 2) the crazy circles I drive around town to drop and pick the kids up from school (about 1 h 45m a day in the van) . Both of these are inconveniences and not impossibilities. The GREAT news is that the combination of paying off our car with out tax return and deciding to not take on a larger mortgage payment in its place has made it possible for me to be a full time stay at home mom!!! This had never been possible before as I have always worked 1-3 part time jobs to help make ends meet. Torrey will finally complete his 9 year bachelor's degree in 3 weeks and we have decided to put all of our extra spinning plates down and hang our extra hats up for awhile to just regain some balance in our lives. We want to refocus on our children and try to make up for lost time while they are still young. Our focus has been on work, ministry, school, adoption, our home, etc for so long that our children have never really experienced the old fashioned family dinner. And they are missing out on the joy of having their parents boty home on a regular basis. We have been tag team parenting for a long time that the children are always surprised to have both of us in the room at the same time. (Sifan especially will question which one of us is leaving when she sees us together at home :( )
Staying where we are may not afford us much privacy or time in the bathroom but it will give us more time to regain some of the quality family time we have missed by being so "busy".

Easter Part 1

2010-04-03T22:39:00.000-04:00

Today we had our first Easter Celebration.

A little egg hunting between rain drops

Daddy and his girls

Sweet baby Carter

And some new "headbands" from Grandma and Grandpa.

This blog came up in conversation during the family get together today. I forget that people read this blog sometimes.

Sifan's adoption announcements

2010-04-03T22:19:00.001-04:00

Dear Friends and Family,

It is with great joy that we officially announce the arrival of our daughter

Marjorie Sifan Ehrman

{See-fen}

Born 4/29/2005

In Mendi, Ethiopia

Home Forever June 27th, 2009.

We have given her the name Marjorie in honor of Kimberley’s beloved and greatly missed

Great Grandmother Marge Abbott.

We pray that Marjorie Sifan has the same gentle, kind, and loving spirit as her name sake.

The Ehrman Family

Torrey, Kimberley, Noah, Carter,

Keziah Wubitu & Marjorie Sifan

Today we finished Sifan's adoption announcements! Sifan picked out special pink tulip paper to print the announcements on. We are so glad we waited to make these because all of the information is correct now that we have finalized the spelling of her name and have her actual birthday!
Sifan has been home 9 months now :)

updates

2010-03-28T20:06:00.000-04:00

A few updates:

It seems that this blog always goes by the wayside when things get busy around here. At times I think about just stopping and maybe someday I will. For now here are a few photo updates:

This is Sifan's finger. She got it stuck in the door jam and instead of opening the door to get it out she pulled it out and ripped all of the skin off of her finger tip. I laid the flap of skin back over the wound hoping to protect it. This photo was taken to send to T to ask whether i should take her to redimed to look at it. He said, "just wait and see." However by the time he got home the whole tip was purple so Sefan and I headed to the urgent care center. They steristripped it shut and put a splint on the tip and wrapped it up nicely. But the splint and bandages were off within 10 minutes of hitting the waiting room. The steristrips lasted 2 days. She was not a fan. The flap has now died and has been cut off. FUN stuff. We did have the BEST time together away from the other kids for a few hours. There is rarely a time when Sifan and I just get to spend time together. Usually it is Mom and Sifan and the pile of laundry or the load of dishes. She is a great helper but she is soooo funny and cute when there is nothing to do but wait and enjoy some great conversation.

This is from the girls' tumbling class. They were trying out their wigs to see if they could still do all of their tricks with them on for the recital in May. With Wuby is Corina, she was adopted from Russia some time between Wuby and Sifan's adoptions. It is fun to have an adoption tumbling class.

I am finally working on Sifan's adoption announcements now that we have her official birthdate and name change complete. Better late than never :). We had a great time doing a photo shoot while the other kids were at school.

In hair news: We are working on perfecting our flat iron skills now that Wuby's hair is getting longer. She sits so very still for the 2 hour process because she so badly wants her hair straight so she can comb through it all day. This was our first semi-successful attempt
(and a little flat iron in the front for Sifan to make her happy.).

This is what Sifan looked like when I came home from work on Saturday. She was sooo proud that she did her own hair all by herself.

T meets baby Kouper! Things have been so busy that Torrey finally got to meet our nephew Kouper today. He is getting quite big! Gives me baby-itis....never thought I would say that ;)

In other news: Carter FINALLY gave up his training wheels in exchange for a trip to Fazoli's!!! It was ridiculously painless and quick. He just took them off (by himself with a wrench) and took off. He can even beat Noah in a bike race! It is amazing how motivating unlimited breadsticks can be :)

In Noah news (he seems to easily become overlooked) he is getting straight A's and doing well. When T gets done with school in 6 weeks they plan to write a video game together!

On the home selling front:

We had 2 showing of our house this week. We had actually given up on selling our house when we got the call. Unfortunatly the couple's grandpa vetoed the sale due to his dislike of supports in the basement. We have made so many improvements to our home in the last 5 months that we are really in LOVE with it. So we are happy either way. We are fine to stay here or happy to move. The GREAT news is that if we stay I don't have to work anymore!!! We paid off the car with our tax return!!!

A momma has to brag!

2010-03-13T14:36:00.000-05:00

Back in January Carter's photography and visual art submissions for the a PTA art program advanced to the state level for grades K-2nd. We just recieved word that his photography submission placed in the top 3 for the state!!! We are so proud of him!! The theme was "Beauty is...."

This is a picture of the hooks where he hangs his coat at school. His artist statement was, "This is my class, this is where I belong. (beauty is belonging)"

Here are a few others that Carter took that I LOVE:

His perspective is very interesting to me. Maybe all Kindergarteners see the world this way? I just love the way he captures it in the camera.
Since I am on the brag endlessly about my kid post, I wanted to add this one.

This is a school project he did in January:
It says, "If I were President I would.....make healthy food for free. Make sad kids have a house."
When I asked him about it he said it is about the kids in Ethiopia. He wants to get them healthy food to eat for those that are hungry and give the children on the streets of Ethiopia a home.
Did I say I LOVE this kid?

But she IS my sister!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-04T18:35:00.000-05:00

When we are out and about it never fails (I mean NEVER) that someone asks me how old the girls are. They continue to be an almost indiscernable 1 inch difference in height and weigh the exact same. They seriously look like fraternal twins....well identical twins to people who have had little contact with black children (seriously I have had this...a guy at Walgreens thought I was surprised to find out I was pregnant with identical twins) Anyhow, the girls are always happy to chime in that they are 5 and 4 1/2 (emphasis on the 1/2). So, inevitibly the next question is how far apart are they. To which I answer 6 months. Then most people (the ones that can do math in their head or know anything about biology) ask so are they biological sisters?, or are they cousins?, or what came today the simple "Are they sisters?". Usually I just say yes and walk away as cofusion spreads across their face. Today though as I was rounding hour 3 of waiting for our van repair with no quick exit in site I mispoke. When the lady asked "Are they sisters?" I forgot the little ears around me. I said, "they are not biological sisters but they are sisters." To which Wuby had a very cofused look and said in a loud voice, "but mom, we ARE sisters!!!" I tried to explain that I meant that she and Sifan had different Ethiopian mommies, but the term biological sister was lost on her 5 year old understanding. I realized then that I needed to further change my approach to questions from strangers. These questions have mulitplied exponentially since Sifan has come home. The girls are IMPOSSIBLE to miss. If you are not overtaken by their cuteness (I swear I am not looking through mom colored glasses ;) ) then they will try their darndest to engage you in a conversation. Like I said, you cannot miss them, they will not let it happen. This openness that the girls have with strangers seems to loosen strangers tongues, and they ask whatever is on their mind. Usually I don't mind at all....as I am often the Queen of TMI without embarrasement. I will answer those questions that are sometimes prefaced by "I know this might be an ignorant question" and the questions that are down right ignorant and really shouldn't be asked. I alwasy answer with a smile and often take the time to educate a bit about adoption, the process, ~~the function of my ovaries~~, Ethiopia, etc. I realized today though that maybe I need to hold my tougue a bit until I relearn how to better answer some questions because above all MY CHILDREN'S feelings and ideas about themselves and their family are MUCH more important than my furthering a stranger's education about adoption or just scratching that itch of curiosity strangers may have.
T & I and talked it out and decided that we would say that the girls are about a year apart so that the uncomfortalbe question of, are they sisters doesn't come up as much and that our answer will always be Yes, they are sisters, no need for explanation of biology. Often this will suffice if I am by myself with the girls because it isn't a huge leap to think that they are my biological children....often it makes me laugh even when I try to discern what people are thinking when I take the boys and girls out together without T. But the new philosophy is, let them wonder.

The toothless two year twins

2010-02-25T16:51:00.000-05:00

Sifan and Carter like to refer to themselves as "two year twins" since they share a birthday and are exactly 2 years apart in age. I couldn't resist this photo op after Carter lost his front tooth last night :)
(Sifan had her front tooth removed when she came home from Ethiopia...in case you are just tuning in...read about it here and here).

And one of Wubitu trying to regain the center of attention :)

A tale of one kitty

2010-02-23T20:24:00.000-05:00

This morning as I was making my tea headed out the door to take the boys to school I heard all 4 of the kids shreiking in terror. Now it is normal to hear at least one scream every morning as the kids ~~beat each other~~ get loaded into the van, but it is very rare for them all to be screaming at the same time. As I went to check on them I was run down by a herd of Ehrman children yelling that a cat was in the van. A little background...we have no real pets (we do have an old beta fish that plays dead all day but he is hardly a pet...more decoration than anything). All of the kids are to varying degree frightened of animals of all kinds especially dogs and cats. Wubitu is the worst. If there is a dog or cat in the house she will not let her feet touch the ground and screams anytime the animal comes her way. Sifan is also scared but wants to learn to like pets (she talks nonstop about how she held my mom's cat like a baby one time). Noah and Carter are also very very nervous around pets. So a cat in the van was a shock for sure. Apparently someone had left the van door open and the stray made himself at home for the night. The kids said that when they were all buckled in ~~waiting for me to get my tea~~ ready to go the cat jumps out at them causing a loud mass exodus. When I got out there I opened all of the doors to the van and waited. Called "here kitty, kitty" and nothing happened. We were already running late ~~and i didn't want my face scratched off if I found the scared cat under my seat~~ so I coaxed the kids back into the van thinking that the cat for sure escaped during the commotion. They were all nervous the entire trip that the black cat might come back. We dropped the boys and headed back home with no incident, other than Sifan insisting that we should keep it because it must not have a home and we could be its home :) The girl's tumbling class was canceled so we didn't have to use the van again until we picked the boys up. We were running late ~~because I woke up from my nap late.~~ so I hurried the girls to the van and jumped in. I thought this commercial on the radio was so weird because it had this cute meowing sound. Then it hit me...the cat was still in the van. I thought I had smelled a hint of dirty cat in the air when I got in. I stopped at the corner and opened my door and waited. A minute or so later a big black cat jumped out of the van from under my van seat!!! I tried to remain calm ~~not pee my pants~~ as to not further enforce the girls' fear of animals. Drove ~~like a wild woman~~ the rest of the way to pick the boys up, and picked up trash from the passenger side at stop lights. Then I found ~~grabbed~~ the receipt I had been looking for and to my disgust it was covered in cat pooooo!!!! AAAAAA!!! Since I disturbed the ~~turd~~ feces it made the entire van stink to high heaven. Thankfully I was so late to pick the boys up that none of the staff came close enough to the van to smell it. The boys smelled it instantly and we all had to pull our shirts over our noses all the way home to keep from gagging. This solidified in the kids' minds that they do not want any pets. Luckily for me the majority of the mess was on a USPS flat rate mailing box I wasn't using so I could just throw it in the trash. However, how do I explain to the store that the receipt I need was pooped on by a cat that doesn't belong to me who decided to make its home in my van.....???

Just a quick note!

2010-02-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

I think there are only 2 days this month that I have not been sick :( . Things have been crazy with T back to school and trying to get the house ready to sell. We have an open house this Sunday!!!! Sorry that I have been amost completely absent from the online and real world. I miss everyone!

Good news though!!!
We readopted Sifan here in Indiana. (this is a required step in an internation adoption where you do not see your child before the court proceedings in Ethiopia). This means that Sifan is officially Marjorie Sifan Ehrman and will recieve her Indiana Delayed Certificate of Birth in 3 months!!! And get this....we were sucessful in changing her birthdate to the one provided by her birthfamily (at least for her Birth Certificate purposes)!! It was super easy here in Indiana. Some states require bone density scans and medical opinions to change the age. We only had to have a notarized document from our agency explaining the discrepancy and how they came to know that the new date is the actual date (birthfamily records in our case). This was added as an "exhibit" to our documents for court and everything passed!!! If any Indiana family is looking to "readopt" here in Indiana I strongly recommend Michelle Jackson. They are very fairly priced, and very quick too, about 1 month from sending paperwork to receiving the court order in the mail.
Next hurdle for us is the Certificate of Citizenship. This paper will prove the girls' US citizenship. Since we have now readopted the girls are US citizens but need this last piece of paper to have lasting proof of their citizenship. I am hoping that getting the birthdate changed will be just as easy with the US gov as it was with Indiana government....we shall see!

Project Runway: Library plush edition

2010-01-22T14:55:00.007-05:00

Can I just say that our library rocks!!!
Monday nights are family nights and they always have a fun night planned for the kids. Last Monday the theme was snow and the kids were supposed to paint snow but it melted here to they made frosting from scratch and cut out snow flakes in played in a huge pile of crushed syrofoam "snow". Two weeks ago they had an animal fashion show. The kids brought their stuffed friends from home and got to make clothes for them from a variety of scrap fabrics. It was way way way to fun and totally my style!!! Here are the finished products:
This is baby bandit. Carter is so cute doing this because he wanted a "hat like Wubitu has..." and a "mask think like the robbers have in Texas". This is sleeping Beauty.
Joe Money pants
And my most favorite dress made from a sleeve!
After the outfits were made the kids got to take turns presenting their creations!

changes & celebrations

2010-01-22T13:38:00.014-05:00

It has been a very busy last few weeks. (I swear I say that a lot...I think I am addicted to projects) Torrey started back to school full time and work full time...it has been a bit of a shock again after having a month off for Christmas but we think the transition will be easier this time around. Carter's art was showcased at a the local library for a PTA art program. He recieved first place at his school for Kindergarten-2nd grade Photography and Visual arts.
Carter has a very interesting perspective when it comes to photography, I LOVE his photographs. Noah did a great job too and received 2nd place at the for grades 3-5 at the school for his photo of the American Flag!
After the showcase we had T's parents come with us to look at a house we visited briefly at an open house. We absolutely LOVE the house and so decided to put our house on the market ASAP...knowing that we would need to make a few changes to the house to get it ready to show. So, we have been in overdrive to redo the kitchen and dinning room.

First was the flooring in the kitchen.
Carter & Noah LOVED pulling up the old flooring. They were demo kings (in their jammies)!!!

This cuteness is what happens when Sifan is left to pick her own clothes while mommy finishes the project
Before Kitchen: (this was taken for our dossier to adopt Sifan back in November of 2008... since this pic the floor tiles started to come up so the plan was just to replace the flooring but T wanted to have flooring that ran through the dinning room and kitchen both so we had to redo the cabinets too!)After: The flooring is this really neat floating vinyl flooring that is like laminate in that it interlocks and isn't stuck to the subfloor but has the durability and waterproof properties of vinyl. A SUPER PLUS with messy kids.

In the middle of the project my baby sister had her first baby boy!!! On Wednesday we welcomed sweet baby Kouper.

Dining room before: Under the table was a large piece of plywood that covered an old vent...we found the little "treasure" after pulling up the carpet a few years ago hoping to uncover this older home's original hardwood flooring. Also under the rug lurked some damaged hard wood from when a bottle of laundry detergent was spilled on the carpet and left there too long.
After:
The kids LOVE that we have so much open space now...they like to take a running start and slide across the floor in their socks and jammies and I like to spin them around in circles on their backs. It was nice to be able to move the table and not have to use it to camouflage the defective floor.
Though now that the dining room floor is done I want to paint it!! (I think I mentioned something about a project addiction before..hmmm....)

We hope our home sells in time to snatch up the house we like but the market in our area is ridiculous at this point. Praying everything works out. Until then at least we can enjoy the fruit of labor!

A little change

2010-01-14T09:27:00.004-05:00

I know it is crazy....6 months later....we have decided to change the spelling of Sefan's name back to Sifan. A few things:
1) Our initial paperwork listed her name as Sifan. The spelling "Sefan" did not appear until we reached Ethiopia and found it spelled this way on her birth certificate
2) When people see "Sefan" they tend to pronounce her name "S'fawn" and often I can't get people to change their pronunciation after they have learned it this way. In reality her name is pronounced "See-fen". So if we change the spelling to Sifan then likely teachers, etc. will not even try to pronounce it and ask us. Sifan is too shy to correct people (unlike Wubitu) so this may help her later.
3) She will have to spell her name to people no matter which way we spell it as "huh" or "what was that" is the always the response when Sifan tells people her name.
4) Ultimately though, the reason for the change is this picture:This treasure is a picture of Sifan's 3rd birthday party in Ethiopia. The last she had with her Ethiopian family. The video crew we contacted to do a life video for Sifan sent us 6 pictures that Sifan's birthfamily wanted her to have. These pictures are a true treasure as most children who have been adopted internationally have very little to no pictures of their life with their birthfamily. We are so greatful to have these.
We have been so busy that I have not had time to study these photographs. As I was scanning them to make copies for Sifan's adoption book I noticed in the background a birthday poster that clearly spells Sifan's name "SIFAN." So we have decided to spell it the same way that her birthfamily spelled it.
Sifan has really taken to the change, actually she is very excited about it! She can now write her name very clearly. Though I felt a little silly telling her preschool teacher that we were changing the spelling of her name; especially since we changed her birthdate just 8 weeks ago.
Thankfully we have not readopted (adoption speak for the registration of the adoption in our state where you can make name changes and in our case a birthdate change) so the spelling change can easily be made as we are filling out the paperwork this week :)

P.S. if anyone can translate the rest of the poster I would be very very grateful!

Mommy, why do we have to die?!

2010-01-12T09:30:00.004-05:00

Wuby has been upset by the thought of death since my great grandmother Margie passed away a few months ago. We talked through the uncomfortable topic many, many, many times to a point that would beyond satisfy most 5 year olds. She keeps bringing it up and I didn't understand why until today on the way home from taking the boys to school. Wuby got very upset suddenly and said, " Mommy, why do we have to die! I don't want to live with Jesus forever!" There....Forever.... was the root of her discomfort. There....another home....that was the root of her issues with death....she was afraid that she would have to leave our home to live with another family and the thought scared her....more than dying itself, perhaps.
Two incidents I think brought her underlying worries to a head. A few weeks ago when i was picking Wuby up from preschool her teacher told me that she had jokingly said to the kids that they would come home to live with her and Wubitu told her, "No! my mommy will come for me." When I arrived she told the preschool teacher, "See, I told you she would come." But I think that incident still shook her a bit....made her question if her place in our home was permanent; and why wouldn't she question it? We were at least her 3rd home in 3 years....in each situation she was loved dearly. What makes this situation any different?
The second situation is that we have been talking about moving for a few months now...talking about what comes with us (beds, furniture) and what things stay (doors, floor, etc). On Sunday the sign went in the yard and the move became more real to her. In her 5 year old perspective what makes the difference between her previous homes and ours other than wealth?
With every move in her life the new home came with a new set of people who were to care for her. In her mind perhaps maybe this move would mean new "parents' too?
All I had to offer were assurances and hugs. I assured her that we are her FOREVER family and we would be with her FOREVER, and she would NEVER have to leave us to live with another family. I held back the tears as I got to look into her life window a bit, she has lost so much in her short life. While we are so overwhelmingly happy to be her Forever family, so much pain comes with her story (like all adoptions....). We hope that we can help heal the wounds or at least be there to apply the bandages and some tender love and care as she finds her own road to healing.

Mommy, are you sure we are in the right place

2010-01-10T10:33:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Carter and Wubitu started basketball at the YMCA. Usually we do out Y sports at the Y I work at in the suburbs because I get a discount but this time we decided to go to the one closest to our house to save on gas. We live in a very diverse area of town so all of the children are used to interacting with people of all ethnicities. However, at this Y our light skin is by far the minority. On game day, as we were searching for a clue to which gym we should be in, where their coach was, where the parent's sit, etc. Carter became overwhelmed for a bit as he studied his surroundings and realized that he was the minority in a packed gym Carter looked around and then whispered in my ear, "Mommy, are you sure we are in the right place........(pause), is this were we are supposed to be?....(pause)....everyone here has brown skin." I told him , "yes this is where we were supposed to be. This Y is different than the Y that mommy works at, huh. I wonder if this is how Wubitu and Sefan feel at our Y sometimes." He seemed satisfied with that answer and we finally found Carter and Wuby's coach. And all of Carter's anxiety seemed to melt away as he got his game face on. Neither Carter nor Wubitu have ever played basketball so it was a riot as we tried to explain (yell) the sport to them from the sidelines. Carter ran (skipped) the entire time with his hands in his pockets and Wuby wandered around resisting the urge to hug everyone in the middle of the game. It was too cute (all spectators enjoyed themselves, laughing through all of the Preschool/Kindergarten antics).
A good time was had by all and important life experiences were introduced. We are so glad Carter is getting the opportunity to experience being the minority even if it is for a short time. And both kids get to learn from awesome coaches and role models that look more like Wubitu & Sefan.

Calendar

2010-01-02T22:17:00.013-05:00

Every year for the last 6 years i have done a Christmas calendar for Torrey and my parents. It started off very elaborately back in my scrapbook days when each page of the 3 calendars were painstakingly hand crafted taking 40+ hours per calendar. I loved each one but after the first 2 years I had to give up the scrapbooking and took on a more simplistic approach. Now I just put together a few of my favorite pics into a publisher file and print them into a calendar. I am glad to have made the change if only for the fact that I will always have a copy of the calendars. Thought it would be fun to share some of my favorites of our kids since I have been such a lousy blogger this year.
January (well these were really taken in December this year). This is Sefan's first time sledding. She LOVED it! Her legs have become so strong over the last 6 months as she marched up the hill like a trooper. The first we took of her her was one of her and daddy together on the sled because it was the most important to Sefan. Wubitu has a picture of T and her sledding the 2nd day she was home from Ethiopia and Sefan was very very jealous of that picture. I can't wait to give Sefan even more wonderful experiences for her to treasure.February: Wuby & Sefan think the one where they are feeding each other is really funny. The lovely couple included here is Torrey's brother Luke and his wife Miriam. Luke is currently stationed in Afghanistan. This was taken at his graduation a few weeks before he was deployed. The kids really enjoyed staying on the army base and we may have some future soldiers from our household as a result of this trip.
March: These were taken the first month Sefan was home at T's cousin's wedding. Oh and one after Wuby's school Christmas program.April: Carter and Sefan share a birthday April 29th. They also share a birthday with their great grandpa Hugh Ehrman and T's uncle Kevin Ehrman! Evidence that Sefan was definitely our meant to be!!
May/June: Some summer pics! Missing the warm temperatures already!!
July: Noah will turn 10 this year!! 10!!!
August: This was taken at my parent's lake house a few weeks before we left to pick up Sefan. I was sure to include her in here because she gets very upset when she sees pics of the family without her in it. She is getting better about understanding that we very much wanted her to be with us and were sad that we had to wait so long to bring her home. I can't wait to take her out in the boats this summer!

September: Next year Wuby starts Kindergarten!! She is super excited!! We still are not sure if Sefan will go also but most likely I will keep her home another year to avoid "twinning" the girls further.
October: My absolute favorite season FALL!!! Sefan asks every time we go to my parents' house how long before we get to go trick or treating again! She totally digs American holidays!! Wuby is an old pro about it now.
Wuby turned 5 this year. It is incredible to think that she is so big. Last week we rewatched Wuby's History video to see who in her family she gets her fabulous face from. We are so blessed to have this incredible video for her. There is hardly a day that passes that I don't feel the bittersweet twinge of joy as I see this little girl grow and realize how much her birthfamily is missing. She truly is joy bottled up and overflowing. (p.s. I don't make her pose that way...she always does that when she sees the camera)
December: A few of our family. One taken at church by my fab friend Krista and one taken at home in front of our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I let the kids decorate without making any "adjustments" to their decorating this year. It is amazing how much you learn to let go as your family grows!!

2009 was so full! Full of joy, struggle, deep sorrow, thought, personal growth, and outrage at injustice and corruption. Overall I am thankful that at the end of a very trying year I have a fabulous family. Yeah...I say that a lot huh! Seriously though, I am so deeply in love with my family that I seriously have to pinch myself sometimes when I have two little girls wrapping their little arms around my neck and smothering me with kisses and 2 not so little boys who make me laugh and make me proud of their sweet character as they grow into little men and my fabulous husband who works hard and loves so tenderly.

Maybe I am just glad that Sefan's transition has gone so well and we are finally feeling "full". The journey to bring children home through International Adoption is so hard... and virtually impossible to explain to someone who hasn't lived it. I think we are all glad to finally be at the end of waiting for others to bring our family together and we now feel like we can start the rest of our lives because we are all here and accounted for... no more thinking about what it will be like when the remaining members of our family join us. We are now in full control (well as in control as anyone is of their own destiny) Now are thoughts are more focused on living every moment and enjoying raising the children we longed for. The future we imagine together is so exciting and I can't wait to see what 2010 hold for us!

Very insightful Transracial adoption essay

2010-01-01T23:02:00.002-05:00

Our family has been on the adoption road for over 3 years now and we have learned so much along the way. Sometimes the things we have learned are hard to explain to others when they make comments or ask questions about our children and how we choose to raise them. In some free time (I know right...Christmas break is AWESOME) I came across this essay by an 8th grade girl who was adopted from Korea by a caucasian family. Her insight and organization of some of the main issues in transracial adoption are PHENOMINAL! Please read
This incredible essay

wow it has been a long semester

2009-12-26T20:18:00.002-05:00

Things have been insanely busy here. And my blog has been suffering because of it for sure. Still 1 more of 6 Christmases to go. Things are hopefully going to slow down for a week or 2 while T is on his semester break. This semester took A LOT of adjustment for all of us as we learned to do life without Torrey there much at all. The first 2 months I was crazy overwhelmed and I think I scared away a few friends with my griping. But as October turned to November I finally toughened up and made the necessary changes to do it all by myself. It is hard to fully explain the amount of work that goes into caring for 4 children alone and doing it well. If I learned anything throughout this time it is sympathy and admiration for single moms...you are my new heroes. I had to make serious cuts in my extra curricular activities (ah hem....farm town on face book and other addicting apps, blogging, time with girl friends, etc.). On days that T found my bawling over the ever growing mountain of laundry he would sacrifice some precious homework time to help me out and assure me that it wouldn't always be this way and he didn't intend for me to raise all 4 children alone.....only a few more months out of a long lifetime. I am thankful to have such a wonderful husband that could take on everything that goes with working full time and going to school full time while still making time to comfort me when I am overwhelmed and while still trying to connect with his children with every available moment. On top of that he amazing came out of this crazy year with the employee of the year award :). I am thankful for this respite as we delve back into the last 5 months of full time school for T. After this semester he will graduate with is Bachelor's degree...and it only took him 9 years :). After this he will have to take another 5 classes at his leisure to qualify for the Professional Engineer exam here in Indiana (2 more calculus classes, a physics, and 2 more calculus based engineering classes). He will though go ahead and take the test Engineering Intern exam in Ohio in October to get started on the years of experience he needs to become an liscenced Professional Engineer in both Indiana and Ohio. Bottom line...we are making progress and I am glad that we are finally seeing the last chapters in this very difficult time in our lives. T is not confident that it will be any easier when he finishes but I am holding out hope that we can be a "regular" family as some point...one where the dad and mom are both home for dinner.

So how are the kids doing?
The boys are doing very well. Noah (9) has a voracious appetite for nonfiction books from the library. Fiction he says is "BORING." He checks out 20-30 books a week and reads them in bed by light of his globe. He told me what a kidney stone was the other day... He really enjoys books about forensics and the human body. So some of the titles are a bit freaky as he learns about mass murderers and how they were caught or about poisins or even an entire book about sweat or urine. He also likes to read to his siblings. They all lay on their tummies on the living room floor (well Sefan lays on Noah's back) and Noah will read them a silly story.
Carter is LOVING Kindergarten. It is amazing what a difference a year makes. Last year we had to pull him out because he couldn't physically handle the full day because he was too exhausted. He has a lot of friends and misses them over Christmas break. He is a bit of a goof as he told me once that he made a friend in his class, "because I farted on the carpet and we both thought it was funny so now we are friends". He says they play monsters vs. aliens on the playground...the girls are the monsters. Noah and Carter like to play together but often Noah is involved in some computer game and so Carter will play with his sisters. The 3 youngest are so close in age that they play very well together. Last week they made a restaurant in the living room complete with well crafted menues.
Wubitu is getting sooooo big. She is losing her baby look for sure as her little cheeks thin out and her amazing profile takes shape. She is becoming more mature and has gained quite a large vocabulary including some surprising big words. Our insurance guy gave me a sideways glance when she told him something was disgusting (vs. gross)and then later said that something else was ridiculous (vs. weird). She is LOVING her school! At her Christmas program she kept stroking the boys next her...she patted his head, rubbed his face, put her arm around him....relentlessly. He didn't flinch, move, or say anything like most people would with that kind of treatment. Later I asked her who that was...she said, "That's Adam...I can do anything to him". We think she got it from when I playfully swatted Torrey's leg for making an ornery comment....and Wuby scolded me for hitting and I told her that I could do what I wanted to him because he was my husband???? Over the last 5 months she has learned ALL of her uppercase and lower case letters and their sounds and has started to read :)! She also started swimming lessons; her tenacity and competetive spirit have taken her far as she has quickly progressed through the first 2 levels of swim and can go pretty far on her own. Her first love though is dance and she loves to help Sefan to learn the steps. It melts my heart to see the 2 of them dancing together.
Sefan is learning English VERY VERY quickly! Since the girls talk to each other ALL DAY LONG she gets A LOT of practice. She understand 99% of what people say and can express anything she needs very easily....well with a trained ear....she has most of the words there but sometimes they are in a mixed up order so you have to have your mind ready to straighten out the sentence structure. She also has a very strong (cute) lisp and has retained the roll in her "r".
She also learned all of her letters and sounds in the last 5 months but isn't ready to read yet. We have had the most trouble with the competitiveness between the girls. When Sefan came home she was incredibly behind academically and physically compared to Wubitu who is only 6 months older. Sefan has made incredible gains in both areas but she still has not caught up to Wubitu and that makes Sefan upset. You can see the green grow in her eyes anytime Wuby does something she can't do.....she starts to melt into a puddle of fuss....and it takes a LONG time to get her to snap out of it despite any reassurances that she can do just as well and that it only takes practice. We are working on getting her to realize that giving up and feeling sorry for yourself or getting a bad (muttering) attitude will not change anything but progress has been slow. The other major issue she has had is that she was used to being the only child before coming to the orphanage. It has been quite an adjustment for her to now be the youngest when she was essentially an "oldest" with her birthfamily and in the middle in the orphanage. She has had trouble with the fact that she is "last" as she puts its it. We are working on letting her know that she is special because she is "our baby" which helps sometimes but the little green envy monster still rears it head quite often here.
But....like I mentioned before Sefan has made INCREDIBLE gains! When we started tumbling in September she couldn't sit up from a sumersault....she would flop and lay flat on the mat due to lack of back and ab strength. At her last class a week ago she was rolling and standing right up like an old pro. In swimming in September she didn't have the core, arm, or leg strength to hold on to the side of the pool and paddle her feet. Her abs and back were to weak to pull her body up parrallel to the water and her arms were to weak to keep a grip on the side and her legs could only kick for short periods. Now she can hold and kick like all of the other kids in her class and is learning to be more confident in the water. Her neck strength has also improved dramatically as she can hold it straight without it flopping back like she is looking at the sky. She has cute little muscles now from her work in dance, tumbling, and swimming and from her rather large intake of meat (she is quite carniverous!). Her fine motor skills are also improving...but she can write Wubitu's name better than her own :).
The girls really are absolutely FABULOUS for each other. They LOVE to play dress up, Barbies. kitchen, and computer together. They are truely best friends. We knew from a few days of bringing Wubitu home that she needed a sister and Sefan is a perfect match for our family. They both have filled a hole in my heart that I never really knew existed. There is something every day that they do that makes me smile from ear to ear. Really every day I have to pinch myself because I can't believe how blessed I am to have 4 FABULOUS children and an absolutley wonderful husband. While the circumstances with work and school are difficult right now my family brings me such joy that it makes each exhausting day worth it.

A quick note

2009-12-23T23:55:00.006-05:00

Wishing you a Merry Christmas......
....and a crazy good New Year!!!
THE END

2 year famiversary week

2009-12-07T21:39:00.011-05:00

Today marks the first day we checked Wubitu our of the Care Center to stay with us forever!!!
We were supposed to wait a few days to check her out but she was ready ready ready to stay with us! We were so thankful that CHSFS was so understanding in letting us keep Wubitu with us when it was clear that she wanted to stay with us. Read about our adventures here.
I don't have time for a lengthy post as things are very busy here (much to catch up on when things slow down) but wanted to share on this special day :)
Here are a few before and afters:
Referral (taken the day she came into the Care Center):

Birth Certificate Picture (taken before we came to pick Wubitu up from Ethiopia):
First picture with mom at the Care Center in Ethiopia

First picture with dad at the Guest House in Ethiopia

3 months home:
A week ago:

Today Wuby loved hearing all about the first day we met and how she didn't talk at all the first day, just giggled sweetly at the stickers on our heads, and our fun game "Yet no"....and how we left our first meeting wondered if she could talk at all.....ha, ha!!!! We would soon find out that Wuby LOVES to talk! I remember how very tiny she was. So much smaller than I expected. At age 3 she was the same size as Carter at 10 months. Our first year together was very tough as we both learned to stretch and grow our character, but every moment was worth it! Our second year has been fabulous as we learned to enjoy each other. She is an absolute delight, pure joy! I am so blessed that I have been given the opportunity to be her mother.

What in the World Wednesday

2009-11-11T21:41:00.004-05:00

Just a little project....messy living room...clean attic. This is 17 boxes of clothes that the kids have grown out of that we have been hording. We plan to move sometime in the next year so we are slowly working on paring down our possessions in preparation. Thank you to those who have volunteered to take some of these clothes off of our hands! :)

I apologize in advance if my daughter asks you questions

2009-11-10T10:14:00.004-05:00

Wubitu....is well.....lets say VERY outgoing and VERY inquisitive. At first I was super nervous anytime she opened her mouth to talk to an adult anticipating the embarassing question...what would she say....how red would my cheeks turn? She completely lacks a "filter" and asks ANYTHING that comes to her mind. A few examples:
1) At her birthday party there was a kid with skate shoes on and she asked, "What is wrong with your feet"...the kid looked really really confused and said "nothing" but you could tell that kid would now be self conscious about their feet for some time.
2) At the grocery store: A large person was in one of those motorized shopping carts. "Can't she walk?"
3) A person with a large mole on their face, "What is that on your face?" the person, "it's a mole"....Wuby says, "eeeewww, I don't want a mole on my face."
4) A large man at the YMCA, "Daddy does that man have a baby in his belly?" (said loud enough that everyone can hear.)
5) Woman with a large bottom....."Did you eat too much food?"
6) My new mortifying fav: Shopping at United Art and Education for art supplies for a PTA program...Wuby decides to talk to the cashier.... Wuby says, "What did you want to be when you grow up?" , The cashier says, "I wanted to be a teacher." Wuby says, "Well you are not a teacher." insert some akward silence as the man collects his dignity then quickly goes on break.

Now we have REPEATEDLY talked to Wuby about talking to adults...that if she has a question about something then she can feel free to ask us ANYTHING quietly so nobody can hear and that it is not polite to point out how people are different but she can't seem to contain herself. So until she learns this important social lesson please excuse the rude questions, or excuse me if I quickly try to shush her as I see an akward question forming in her head.

Halloween Festivities~

2009-11-05T13:35:00.009-05:00

Always a bit behind in my posting but here goes
Pumpkin picking the weekend before halloween.

Halloween night! We always go to Grandma Karen and Grandpa Jeff's house to trick or treat!

And a little boogie to end a boootiful night....

One of these things is not like the others

2009-11-05T13:33:00.002-05:00

Wuby's 5th birthday

2009-11-04T11:08:00.011-05:00

WUBITU IS 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't believe my little baby girl is 5!! Five is such a big number. This last month I have really had a hard time with her becoming 5....not sure why....with the boys I never thought twice about it....but with Wubitu, I actually cried a bit.....sappy I know.
With T going to school we were not up for a spottless cleaning fest at the house so we opted for a "low key" Chuck-e-cheese party. We originally planned to just invite family but when Wuby woke up she asked "Are my friends going to be there?" so we made a few quick phone calls and sent out a few text messages to see if anyone could make it.

Sefan :)
Wuby was soooo excited about her presents!

This is the response Carter got for getting Wubitu the "Barbie 12 Dancing Princesses" DVD....she really, really, really liked it :)

Thank you Danielle for taking these photos for me!

Happy Half Birthday to Carter & Sefan

2009-10-29T20:05:00.004-04:00

Carter turned 6 1/2 today and Sefan turned 4 1/2

We had an independant film crew visit Sefan's birth family in Ethiopia to make a background video for her similar to the one that Wubitu recieved from Children's Home Society when she came home. They helped us to confirm that Sefan's birthdate is infact April 29th but the year is 2005...not 2004. So she is in fact 4 1/2 years old NOT 5 1/2. We are so thankful to have this invaluable information for her! Carter is excited to share his birthday with Sefan and today we talked about his birthday party when he was 2 and that while we were celebrating Sefan was born in Ethiopia.
Knowing that Sefan is 4 and not 5 relieves A LOT of stress because we now have another year to prepare her for Kindergarten.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-28T09:17:00.007-04:00

You don't love me......

2009-10-25T09:34:00.005-04:00

Sefan is a deep thinker sometimes.
This week while we were driving the boys to school she suddenly burst into sobs and said, "Mommy, you no love me, you only love Wubitu, Carter and Noah" I was flabbergasted.....I told her "I do most certainly love you! Why do you think that?" She said "YOU go getcha Wubitu first.......why you not go getcha me first? You no love me".
I tried to assure her that I DO love her! That I didn't know that she needed me yet and that she wasn't ready to come to America yet. I tried to tell her that she needed to spend some more time with her birthfamily and friends before she came home. To which she said, "****(one of her friend's names...a bloggy friend of mine's child)*** no share her ball with me....I want mommy".
I told her I was sorry and that I wish I could have come earlier and that I cried every day for her to come home. This seemed to appease her. Later in the week I heard the girls pretend to be me and say "Sefan, Sefan, I need you, come home to me in America" and they would run together.
I am sure that this is only the beginning of the tough questions as Sefan learns more English. Honestly I grieve those 18 months that we missed with Sefan that I had with Wubitu. It is so hard to make up lost time. Though I don't question God's hand in the order that our kids came home or the time between our 2 adoptions. I know that I needed more time with Wubitu to establish our relationship because our personalities clashed a lot at first and it took a long time for us both to adjust and bond. It was a tough 18 months of stretching and growing and learning to love each other. With Sefan our relationship did not require as much adjusting. We melded together quite quickly and have a stong, deep bond and a great relationship at only 3 months home. The order of our adoptions worked out perfectly....but to explain that to a 5 year old is difficult....it is still painful to know that we missed so much of her life....painful for both her and us.

Wacky Wednesday

2009-10-21T18:57:00.005-04:00

Okay....several of my bloggy buddies participate in "Wordless Wednesday" and I LOOOOVE IT! However, I am a bit "talky" and might need to explain a bit.......if i posted say.....this picture:
But maybe not.....but just in case, we are shopping for Halloween costumes at Goodwill ....oh wait maybe i shouldn't have said that because now you think I am a horrible parent and what if my kid gets lice from wearing a wig from Goodwill.....oh well.....or maybe you erroneously think that I put this wig on her to make her look "white".....maybe I am just paranoid about what others might think.... and you weren't thinking any of those things and I am just paranoid.....maybe there is a good reason for "wordlessness"..... soooo, in the spirit of Wacky (WORDLESS) Wednesday.....

(excuse the mess...4 kids....enough said....dang...just can't stop myself)

Teaching a 5ish year old English

2009-10-18T22:19:00.001-04:00

This video totally made me laugh out loud because it reminds me of where we were last month in teaching Sefan English. The "do exactly as I do" and the "lid, lid, lid, lid, lid" and the blank stare from Patrick (Sefan)....oh and the JOY when she finally gets it!

Sefan's language has improved soooo much in the last month! She has a large and growing vocabulary. Her sentences are 5-10 words long...though sometimes listening to her is an exercise in word scramble...you know like the ones you did as a kid....they put all the words to a sentence in a mixed up order and you have to put them into the proper order to derive the meaning of the sentence....that is Sefan. She says "My chapstick big pink dip dip put it on your lips in Ethiopia I left it." meaning "I left my big pink chapstick (the one that goes dip dip put it on your lips in Ethiopia". It takes a bit to decipher but she is learning sooo quickly. Most of this is thanks to Wubitu. The girls talk NONSTOP from waking until they are asleep, so Sefan gets A LOT of practice.
I don't know what we did without Sefan....oh wait...I remember....go crazy from Wuby's chatter! I never realized how much little girls talk until recently. The boys are more physical...they wrestle, romp, and play video games. The girls talk: tell each other what to say, how to say it, where to stand, what to wear, and on and on. For example today in the van this was the conversation
Wubitu- Sefan say "where is your chapstick"
Sefan- Where is your chapstick
Wubitu-It is at home.
(chapstick is a highly valued commadity in Sefan and wuby's world)
I remember the days before Sefan where Wuby would try to get me to say stuff like this and i would play along for about half an hour and then need to go get something done and Wuby would whine or act out for attention. But now she has Sefan to talk to all day and Sefan has Wubitu. They are seriously the BEST of FRIENDS right now and I am so glad we are finally at the point where things are settling into place. The girls still have their moments but I finally feel like their sibling rivalry is at a normal level (for basically twin 5 year old girls). I had someone tell me early on when bringing Sefan home that the intense fighting and jealously was "just life" but i don't think they understood the intensity of the situation...without living through transitioning a newly adopted preschooler into your home it is hard to understand the complexity and stress of it all. I am just glad we are making such good progress as a family now and feel like we are living our "happily ever after"

Relearning how to eat

2009-10-18T21:53:00.003-04:00

Since I met Sefan in Ethiopia she has always been a VERY LOUD eater. She smacks her lips louder than any person I have ever met....which unfortunately is a HUGE pet peeve for me....but in this case it led to an interesting find.
As i have talked about before Sefan had SEVERE tooth decay that required extensive dental work to repair her teeth and relieve her of severe pain. What I didn't realize was that the pain had caused her to change her eating habits to avoid the pain caused by her teeth while eating. Last week when i was working with her to try to help her keep her lips closed during eating I put my hand on her lips to feel and noticed that she was not using her teeth at all. She was essentially smashing the food with her tongue against the top of her mouth and making a loud sucking clinking sound to help pummel the food. This eating behavior worked well in Ethiopia since most of the food are very very soft (injera, a soft bread and wat, a soup). However, here in America where crunchy reigns this technique is not helpful. So this week we have been trying to relearn using your teeth to eat. While eating I try to remind Sefan to move her food to the side of her mouth to chew then to the middle of her mouth to swallow. She is making progress but it is slow as can be imagined. Eating is something we do unconsciously and it takes a lot of effort to reteach something that basic.
But she is a trooper for the most part and will say " see mommy, I chew on side, then swallow"...sometimes she will hide her face from me though when she is tired of trying to eat properly because it takes so much concentration.

corn maze

2009-10-18T21:22:00.017-04:00

Last week we took an impromptu trip to a corn maze. We were at a family reunion and decided to visit on the way home. The kids had a GREAT time.

Sefan being a goof

Noah and Wubitu......Carter called the woman space in this cut out "the lady suit" and refused to be in pictures with the lady suit on.

Getting our fill of cats! Daddy is allergic :(Here is grandma trying to explain to Wuby and Sefan that cats are not ferocious.
All loaded up for the barrel ride!

How in the world do you get 4 kids to smile at the same time?
The corn maze was really neat! They had a scavenger hunt inside the maze. If you found 4 different punches throughout the maze and punched your ticket then you got a dollar back from your admission! Since we had 4 adults it was a lot of fun because each kid got to pick their own way and lead an adult around.
Here is grandpa helping Sefan punch her ticket.

Carter and daddy leaving the corn maze with all four corners punched!!
Sefan on the hay stacks
Carter trying out the tractor
T took one look at this picture and was in awe of the sky..."why do we live in the city again?" My country boy is missing his big skies. but mommy would miss her Meijer grocery store! Oh yeah and diversity. (Noah and Carter being boys)
Wuby and Sefan queens of the haystack....and hair full of hay.
Thanks for the great time grandma and grandpa!!!

Our new CRAZY normal

2009-09-22T23:27:00.017-04:00

The girls have been getting along FABULOUSLY now! I think it is mainly because we keep very busy now that everything is in full swing. Torrey is gone ALL week, basically I am a single stay at home mom during the week. I get the kids out of bed and put them back to bed at night while Torrey is at school and work. Torrey is hoping to finish his BA this year after 8 years of going part time we are making on final push by going full time this year. It has proven to be very difficult with the added stress of adoption transition. But I am trying to make the best my time with the kids and support Torrey as much as possible because he is so overwhelmed with his responsibilities at school and work. My number one coping mechanism has been filling our schedule with lots of activities to break up the day. Here is our schedule
Monday
Grocery shopping
Preschool
Boy's play soccer and the girls play with some friends at the soccer field
(Noah acts like he doesn't like soccer but he is really good! He just doesn't like to run alot, just short sprints)Carter LOVES soccer (but doesn't like soccer socks)!
BUT he would rather be doing this.....He is always a joker and will do anything for a laugh including teaching the other kids to play sumo soccer.
This is a game Wuby & Sefan invented. Sefan tells Wuby to run to me (about 100 yards away) and she stays where she is. Then Sefan says "na na you can't get me" and turns around to run. Then Wuby runs full force at Sefan to catch her and tackle her. Sefan is still working on muscle strength and Wuby is fast like lightning when she runs so it works out wonderfully...Sefan gets a head start and Wuby gets to run full force without upsetting Sefan because Wuby is faster and Sefan is jealous.
Tuesday
YMCA so mommy can get her workout on
Tumbling (this has be FANTASTIC for Sefan. We are learning directions: front, back, side and movement: jump, roll, slide. Most importantly we are learning that we have to listen to the teacher and it is okay if you don't get it the first time...it takes practice. At first she would melt into a little ball on the floor and say "I can't" but we are working on perseverance.This has been great for her abdominal strength too as she learns to sit up after each roll which is a struggle for Sefan.
Back to the Y for mommy to work in the evening. I am usually very thankful for this break :)
Wednesday
Dance
Preschool for both girls. I usually get to roller blade 6-10 miles during this time and then come home to do some laundry and dishes. It really is a much needed break as by Wednesday I am usually very very worn out.

Thursday
YMCA to work the booty again
Swimming lessons (they LOVE swimming lessons....the first class though Sefan pulled the "I'm scared" trick (it really means I don't want to do this because I can't get it perfect the first time..so I quit) and tried to sit out the entire class so she could ask distracting questions to the instructor. But mean mommy put her back in the water after 5 minutes and said "Sefan do it"...and wouldn't you know she made some great improvement.)
Wubitu has learned so much from swim lessons so far, she is a little fish! Sefan is really working hard on gaining muscle strength and confidence.
After school we go to the library together for a few hours to pick new movies and books.
Carter then has football after dinner (we all play soccer while he practices)
Friday
Preschool for Wubitu and Suki shopping for mommy and Sefan.
So our schedule is jam packed and we LOVE it!
Please forgive me if I don't get emails and phone calls returned ASAP...I really love ya, just a bit overwhelmed right now....29 more weeks of school for T.

Age......who knew it could be so complicated?

2009-09-22T22:59:00.004-04:00

I have been kind of quiet on here and on Facebook because we have had a lot to think about. The agency that processed Sefan ,s adoption followed up for us with Sefan.s actual birthdate. We did not get to meet a member of Sefan's birthfamily in ET because their was some communication breakdown. I was told several times the first week that she would arrive on Thursday....Thursday came and went and they said that they forgot to call her. It is 360 miles from Sefan,s birthplace to the orphanage in the capital city so I was told it would take a few days for her to arrive after they made contact. Unfortunately she never made it to see me. I am very sad we missed this important meeting because we have so very little background information on Sefan. Seriously at this point we have 2 sentences and now a birthdate. I am thankful, however for the birthdate and thankful that the agency did follow up as promised with this very important information.
Now for the complicated part. Sefan,s birth certificate says that she turned 3 a few weeks ago. We knew from the start that this was incorrect but thought that maybe it was just a year off or so. However, come to find out Sefan is really exactly 1 year younger than Carter....EXACTLY...the same birthdate but one year later. So that means she is almost 5 and a half.
There are several ways that this is complicated
1) 2 of the 4 kids now share a birthdate!
2) 3 of the 4 kids now have an exact birthdate which means that 1 doesn,t
3) According to the estimated Birthdate of Wubitu and the exact birthdate of Sefan, Sefan is 6 months OLDER than Wubitu.
4) Wubitu may actually be older than Sefan but since we do not have an exact BD for her we may never know.
5) With her age Sefan should be entering Kindergarten in the fall for sure. She will turn 7 before the end of Kindergarten next year. If we wait another year she will be 8 in K and 16 in 8th grade (biologically)
6) Sefan has a LONG way to go to catch up to Wubitu as far as language, academics, fine and gross motor skills.

So all of this has me in a panic of sorts. We haven,t really shared this with the kids yet because of #2, #4....Not sure what do to exactly...

So last week we started to do some very formal letter teaching to try to catch Sefan up. And well....she can recognize 3 letters but she cannot write them at all (the fine motor issues again). It is so overwhelming for both me and HER. She is still learning the difference between up and down, front and back, bread and english muffin, toe and finger....and somehow in the midst of all of this she has to learn the alphabet, what these strange things are, what they look like, sound like, etc. I feel bad for her really....I just hope we can make the strides we need to make in the next 11 months.

Something broke my heart today.

2009-09-14T11:36:00.003-04:00

My friend Amanda is in Ethiopia right now picking up her daughter Samry (her son Teshe was in the same Care Center as Wubitu). She posted today about a little girl at her daughter's orphanage who wrote her a letter while she was there.
http://afamilywithoutborders.blogspot.com/2009/09/monday-morning.html

This touched my heart so deeply.

Help a brother out

2009-09-11T10:49:00.005-04:00

The boys each received blue ribbons for their flowers at the school Flower show!!!
We grew these Marigold from a seed packet they sent home with the future Kindergarteners in May. The school provides each student with a live plant at the end of the school year to keep alive and bring back to school in September for the plant show. Noah's has died EVERY year. Last year we entered the dead plant in the show anyway. This year it died again but I happened to be reading over the instructions for Carter's plant and saw that you could enter single cut Marigolds and a set of 3 Marigolds that look alike. So we let Noah pick 4 flowers from Wubitu and Carter's Marigold plants. Noah's flowers won 1st place and get to be entered into the Citywide Flower show on Saturday (Unfortunately Carter's can't be entered because Kindergarten Marigold's are not eligible for the City wide show).

We decided to go out for ice cream after the plant show last night because really the flowers were a family effort. The girls really helped their brothers out because they were the ones who watered the flowers every day and fertilized them every other week.

First day of Preschool

2009-09-11T09:57:00.005-04:00

Wednesday was the first day of preschool! They were both SUPER excited. Unfortunately since we didn't know Sefan's age until we were home only afternoon preschool slots were open. So on school days we have to rearrange our nap schedule a bit and try to have a rest time in the morning. Sefan really needs a nap everyday and thankfully she is tired enough by 11am to fall asleep until lunch time.
This photo perfectly shows each girl's personality: Sefan the sweetheart, and Wubitu the goofy bundle of energy
An interview with Wubitu before heading off to school. She is kind of disappointed that she doesn't get to go every day and eat lunch at school like Carter.

First day of Preschool part 2

2009-09-11T09:32:00.001-04:00

Here is Sefan after school

I can't wait to see how much her language improves over the next few months. It is hard for her to answer questions like these right now. At home she has a very large number of phrases that she uses to be understood but most people who are not around her every day have trouble understanding her. She is very quiet so you have to be listening intently to hear her and if she doesn't know you very well she won't repeat herself because she is shy. I am curious how she does with the teacher at school. At the visitation she just grunted a "yes" to the teacher. As she was painting with the teacher and Sefan was grunting in agreement as the teacher named some colors, I let the teacher know that she did in fact know all of her colors. So when the teacher asked her what color each paint was she yelled them out with glee! It may take her some time to gain confidence.

After I picked the girls up from school they were sooooo excited to show me what they did. They were very tired though.

With both girls in school I had the very first day without children for a few hours in over 9 years! I had a few errands to run....can I say that it only took half the time it usually does...very refreshing :)
Then I enjoyed an hour and a half walk and still had time to clean out some of the van.
:)

New hobby

2009-09-05T12:13:00.008-04:00

The girls have been WAY into Barbie lately. Sefan's doll phobia has slowly deminished...she will now play with Barbie Dolls and some stuffed animals. Baby dolls though still make her scream and run in the other direction. Sefan received some birthday money, "bir-eee" as she calls it, and decided to pick out a blonde Barbie (we have other AA Barbies so I did not try to sway her from the one she wanted). I was not happy though about the less than conservative clothes that Barbie wears or the cost associated with these clothes (about $3 an outfit). Plus since Barbie wears such tight clothes it is near impossible for even me to pull her jeans over her bum. So my new hobby has been making more conservative, easy to pull on Barbie dresses for the girls. And since I am as many of you know CHEAP, I decided to recommission some clothing that the girls could no longer wear. So for these dresses I used a skirt that had a big rip in it that could not be repaired and a pink t-shirt with a stain that I could not get out after 7 washes.

The great part is that I am learning a lot about sewing by making these. If a seam is off, no big deal, I know next time to line it up better or that sewing one part before another makes it easier or what stitches to use with different materials Also it gives me an outlet for my new Project Runway addiction:)

2009-08-29T00:53:00.000-04:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sefan's birthday

2009-08-29T00:25:00.007-04:00

We had a GREAT day celebrating Sefan's birthdday. After dropping the boys off at school we came home to get ready for a spa day at home. We set up in the bathroom for our facials and makeup. Wuby enjoyed learning about each of the different products and Sefan just liked spending time together. Next we went downstairs to watch Dora while mommy gave them manicures and pedicures. Both girls chose silver polish. Wuby said, "asked "why do my nails need two coats? They don't feel cold." Sefan said, "Silver FABOOOLUS"After our nails dried we had a little snack and headed to the mall. We had a great time looking at the new Princess dresses at the Disney store. Then we went to Bath and Body Works so that they girls could pick out their own lotion scents. We filled our bellies at the food court and enjoyed some more smelling at Yankee Candle.
Then home for a nap while I finished frosting Sefan's cake and get things ready for a cookout.
We had a great time at the party. We had invited for an outdoor cookout but it was rainy so we had over 30 people in our tiny house but really enjoyed catching up with everyone. Sefan was soooo over the moon happy! She was so excited about her cake (even though she doesn't like cake) She brought every guest to the fridge to look at her cake.
And like any 4 year old she LOVED presents. I have never seen a little girl get so excited about jeans!!

She wanted to change out of her dress for this outfit

Here is the full effect. A compilation of many presents. Jean and tshirt, Fancy nancy skirt, with Princess Bell high heels, Hello kitty necklace and bracelet. I must admit I LOVE this girl's style!

Back to school

2009-08-29T00:04:00.004-04:00

School started this week for the boys. Carter was SUPER excited about Kindergarten! He even let me drop him at the door on the first day. BUT I freaked out thinking maybe he was crying in the hallway lost and scared. So I quickly found a parking spot in a nearby neighborhood (the parking lot is full on the first day) and hurried the girls along to make sure the boys made it to class. Panicking I quickly tried to weave in and out of crowds of parents and students with the girls in tow. Noah was sitting in his seat as I passed his classroom. Carter's classroom is the furthest class from the drop off door. He was sitting in his seat happily playing. :)
(as a general rule I don't post pics of my nekked face (sans makeup) but i don't think I have many pics of just the 2 of us together, so please look passed the dark circles)

Both boys really like their teachers this year and have not fussed at all about school so far. Carter is happy because Mrs. J lets them have 2 snacks! Noah likes Mrs. N because she gives "ticket rewards" based on individual performance and behavior vs. group like last year.
It is amazing the difference a year makes in Carter's readiness to go to Kindergarten all day. He comes home happy instead of tired and cranky. Plus both teachers give little homework so we have more time to read together. I am reading Star Wars the Clone wars books to the boys.....i have never seen Star Wars so the names are hard for me to remember....the boys think it is funny that i have to ask them how to pronounce pademe (or whatever).

FAQ's

2009-08-21T13:52:00.006-04:00

1) How old is Sefan (usually asked to her face....which she has no idea what they are saying)? Sefan's birthdate was estimated (very incorrectly). Her BC says she will turn 3 in a week. We have been struggling with picking an age for her. She and Wuby are about 2 inches apart in size (Wuby shot up a full inch in July) and Sefan weighs 1 pound less than Wubitu. Emotionally and socially they are equal. Large motor, Sefan is far behind but catching up...we even had to work on running because she favored her right leg alot and her leg muscles were not well develped when she came home. Fine motor, Wuby is light years ahead but always has been exceptionally corrdinated when writing. Wuby can write her full name very very neatly and Sefan has trouble tracing anything. Academically- Sefan is way far behind for obvious reasons, language included. She has her colors down and most of her shapes but we have a long way to go for letters, opposites, prepesitions, etc. So.....we are thinking that we will move Sefan's age up by 1 year and make her turning 4 in 1 week. We have not made a firm decision yet and are still waiting on our agency to follow through and ask Sefan's family in ET for a birthdate. But for now we are going with Sefan being 4ish.
Here is Sefan at the library coloring with Wubitu.

2) What is the age difference between the girls? Are they twins?
This is a FUN one to answer because I get to say "I don't know"....then the fun reaction of....oh I thoght they were yours.....to which I answer.....they are! The truth is both girls' birthdates are estimated so they could have been born on the same day and we would never know for sure. Once we finally for sure decide a birthdate for Sefan we will then give the difference between their birthdates on the birth certificates, which is likely going to be 10 months. Since they are the same size we do get asked if they are twins alot.
(I have zero good pics of the girls together....they always get jealous when the camera is pointed at the other one even if they are both in the picture ...insert eye rolling emoticon here.....right after this photo Sefan came up and I snapped a pic of her and Wubitu stormed off to the corner to pout...oy!)

3) Are they going to be in the same grade?
We are still working on figuring this out. We are thinking that we will likely send Wubitu to Kindergarten next year and Sefan the year after. Sefan has a lot to learn before school and I don't think she will be able to catch up to Wubitu in a years time. The girls are ULTRA competitive and to put them in the same grade could spell disaster. We are still feeling it out right now though. Both girls are enrolled in preschool for the fall. After touching base with the preschool director several times this summer we have decided to put Wubitu in the 4-5 class and Sefan in the 3-4 class based on what each class covers of the year. Wubitu will be learning the sounds of all of the letters and how to spell some words. Sefan will be learning the letters in her name, shapes, and concepts like over, under, beside. We think that giving Sefan another year will help in the long run because she can take her time to learn these concepts and build her confidence since she gets frustrated easily when she can't do things on the first try.

4) How is the transistion going?
My favorite response is "FANTASTIC". The follow up comment from the person is usually "so the girls are getting along well together then!" to which I say...."well, sometimes...usually not so much....but sometimes". The girls are having trouble with sharing everything....including people's affections. They are constantly whining and fussy at me and each other. BUT it gets better everyday. I say that the transistion is going so well though because truely compared to the first time around this has been a breeze! Sefan is so low key, sweet, and loving that she fits very well into our family. Wubitu is very "spirited' which took a long time for me to adapt to because the boys were both more low key like Sefan. So I didn't have to stretch and grow as a parent as much this time around, things have just clicked into place it seems.

5) How are the boys doing with a new sister? They are fine. I am usually caught off guard with this question because I haven't thought about it much. The boys generally play together while the girls play together. BUT Sefan likes to join in when Wuby & Carter play baby or puppy together. Noah tries to snuggle Sefan and she is okay if she initiates the affection but if she didn't initiate then Noah gets rebuffed. (Luckily Noah's feeling have not been hurt by this yet). Sefan likes Noah to carry her around but freaks out and changes her mind quickly and gets down. Sefan thinks Carter is hilarious and Carter enjoys the extra attention to his antics.
I have pics of these two looking at the camera but this one left me a bit teary eyed as Sefan looks up with love at her big brother as they get ready to hold hands for this picture and Carter is so honored to have such a fun, sweet sister.

6) How has it been going from 3-4 kids? I remember discussions about the transistion from 3-4 in playgroups of old. There seemed to be a split in opinion as some say once you go from 2-3 then 3-4 is easy. Others really felt the stress with adding a 4th. We are middle of the road with this. We can definately feel the difference.....some days it feels like we added 4 more kids to the pack, and I am completely overwhelmed and wondering whose crazy idea was it for us to have such a big family? Other days I am completely happy with having such a big family that you can't wipe the smile off my face. However, even when it is hard I am glad we decided to bring Sefan into our home because she really does complete the family. Wubitu & Sefan are great for each other even when they are not getting along. Wubitu & Sefan are both learning to share, and that they do not have to be the center of attention all the time...good character lessons to learn early on. We are now a "big family" officially...going from 3-4....you feel it and see it. You make BIG meals, BIG messes, trips anywhere are a BIG deal, and mom sometimes get a BIG headache from the added noise. But we are adapting and enjoying our time together and wouldn't change a thing!

Our 10 year anniversary

2009-08-21T12:39:00.006-04:00

On last Friday Torrey and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. With Sefan just being home we had to stay close to home for financial and attachment reasons. Thankfully Sefan loves Grandma Joanne and was comfortable staying there. A HUGE thank you to Torrey's mom and dad for taking the kids over night for us on Friday night! Torrey took half a day off of work and we went for a long bike ride on the trails. It was so nice to go as fast as we want and as long as we wanted without the kids. Then we had dinner at Olive Garden :) Finally we went to Fox Island for a hike~~~. We should have realized it was a bad idea when the sign going into the park said "mosquito alert HIGH no refunds"! I had to go to the bathroom in their permanent outside open potties. I waved my hand over the toilet and 100+ mosquitoes flew out!!! I did it again and more flew out!!! There seemed to be a never ending supply of mosquitoes threatening those that wish to use the toilet.... Fortunately there was a urinal in the boys side and Torrey laughed as I straddled that thing :). On our hike we had BIG hopes because the kids don't like hiking at all.....they think it is boring. Well.....the entire time we were doing the mosquito swat dance....it goes step swing your left arm toward the center step flail your arm ound you head in a circle, step windshield wipe the bugs off your face, step swat the bug biting your leg.....fun stuff I tell you! So our hike was short lived. We headed home to grab a sweater for the movies but decided to stay home and enjoy the quiet. It was FABULOUS to sleep in!
Our anniversary was PERFECT! We had so much fun just being together...ALONE. After 10 years I am even more in love with him than when we were first married and I couldn't imagine my life without him. These last 10 years have been stessful but getting through it all TOGETHER has made it managable, and fun! Looking back we are so happy about how we have lived our lives. Looking forward we are excited to see where we are going....TOGETHER!

Here is a post from last year's anniversary with all the old goofy pics: http://ehrmanadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/2008/08/9-years-of-fun-love-laughter.html

A run down of the rest of July

2009-08-11T13:28:00.013-04:00

Sefan's Teeth Part 2
Sefan went in for her 2nd dental surgery on July 29th. This was the more extensive of the 2 appointments. Sefan was excited all week for "Dr. Jim fix it Sefan's teeth" but I don't think she realized that she would have to go back to the dentist again to do it. When we saw the building she started to cry and said "NOOO!" But she still said she wanted her teeth fixed. But she refused to drink the sedation medication so I had to leave the room and the hygenist got her to drink it. We watched Barney while the medication took effect. With the laughing gas she slept through the entire procedure thankfully. She did wet herself half way through but didn't wake up so they came to tell me and we decided together to finish the job while she slept and if she woke up we would change her clothes.
In the end she had 1 more crown, 5 cavities filled and her front tooth removed that day. She was not happy about the missing tooth. She wanted me to hold her then she would push me away, then she would lay on the floor in a heap whinning. This continued for at least 5 hours. It took a good week before she was okay with the tooth being gone. But it had to be done because of the infection in her tooth and gums. I am glad we did the crowns on the other teeth in the front because the lose of one was traumatic but the loss of 4 would have been too much for her I am sure.
Her little top lip is still swollen here :( Please feel free to email me if you are facing similar dental issues and want to know an estimated cost to help prepare you.

That same day I scheduled the other 3 children for their 6 month check ups (a bit mistake btw!) I thought it would be a quick in and out see you in 6 months type of visit like in the past. Well.....Carter develped 3 cavities in 6 months, Noah needs sealants, and Wubitu needs her appliance adjusted. OY! I am just very very very thankful we have dental insurance this year!!! So 5 more appointments made for the month of August!
On the note of teeth....Carter lost his first one while I was in Ethiopia! The second week I was there he was with grandma and grandpa at the state park and noticed that it was gone!!! I was a bit sad to not be there for the momentus occassion but G & G were great substitute tooth fairies! 2 weeks later Carter lost his second one.....we think he swallowed it too!Here they are almost all the way grown in on the bottom. The dentist told me I need to make sure I supervise the boys' teeth brushing because kids this age often don't do a good job, especially boys. The girls' dental hygiene was FANTASTIC though because they LOVE to brush each others teeth when they are bored.

Graffiti
We were visited by some very untalented artists. On the side of our garage someone painted a big "GMC $$$$". We are not sure if it is gang related or a protest of our Yaris and our city having layoffs from General Motors. We haven't gotten to taking it down yet. T was disappointed that it wasn't "cool" graffiti :)

Noah's birthday!
Noah turned 9 on July 31st! We had a cookout with several other families here at the house. No real planned activities, we just let all of the kids play together and had a water balloon fight at the end. I made a spongebob cake and stuffed balloons with candy in lieu of a pinata.
(unfortunately we lost all of the pictures from after July 29th to the Middle of August :(...including Noah's birthday pics :(

Noah Camp
speaking of Noah the second week we were home from ET Noah got to go to Church camp for a week! He said he had a great time. They lost his suitcase on the church van ride over and he didn't have a swim suit or change of clothes until they found it on Wednesday night. The camp called us on Monday to tell us that they couldn't find his suitcase....we assumed that they had found it that night since we didn't get a return call....grrr. They didn't find it until Wednesday night, so he missed the swim test because he didn't have a swim suit and couldn't go out on the fun stuff passed the safety rope. But he had fun and enjoyed eating as much as he wanted (as evidenced by the 10lbs he put on)! Needless to say he will not be returning unless we go or a trusted friend is in charge of his group.
Noah all packed up and ready to go!

Company Picnic:
Torrey's company was at a local minor league baseball game to watch the Fort Wayen Tincaps. The stadium is brand new and very nice. Sefan was upset that she didn't get to play though ;). After the game the girls got to watch fireworks for the first time. Sefan says, "Fireworks...I like it!" (lost these pics too :(. )

Not apologizing for the lack of posting

2009-08-11T13:12:00.002-04:00

It has been awhile since I posted....I am not really sorry about that....at least i am working on not being sorry about it. Now that the journey to bring our daughters home has ended I have been working on starting the lifelong journey to raising them. My guess is that my blog posts will be less frequent from here on out as i try to unchain myself from the computer that has held me hostage it seems for almost 3 years. I am trying to take up hobbies that do not involve perusing adoption blogs, waiting child lists, agency websites, and adoption forums. It is an addiction that is hard to break but as i let go little by little I feel that I am gaining something in return...more time to explore new things....things i have been putting off. For instance, i took the brand new sewing machine out of the box that I received 2 Christmas's ago. I sewed a few purses and am looking at learning to sew dresses for the girls. I am getting back into fitness and working to renew my personal training certification. And most importantly I am working on enjoying my kids...taking the time to walk away from computer and sit down for a game of Uno.
While I am unapologetic, I hope you will tune in even when the posts become sparse.

Wedding Saturday

2009-07-25T22:28:00.010-04:00

Our first family photo!!! (This is the best we have.....it is soooo hard to get 6 people to smile at the same time!)
Sefan taking a rest
Sefan LOVES taking pics with mommy.
Sweet Wubi!
Carter & Wubitu...the 2 with the biggest "personalities" in our family.
Did I ever mention that I LOVE having 4 kids?

We stopped by my parent's lake house on the way home so Sefan could meet Grandpa! He picked these flowers for her.....he didn't have scissors so he bit them off the bush!!!! That's true love!!!! (Abbott style) Grandpa fell instantly in love with his new princess!Chilling out in our PJ's enjoying daddy's fabulous popcorn! (I love Sefan's sense of style...she rocks that headband!!!! )

Earrings

2009-07-25T22:14:00.005-04:00

Wednesday after Sefan's dental appointment she kept pointing at Wubi's earring and saying "Sefan's". She noticed them before and seemed very interested in having earrings but I told her that they were "ouch". She became very insistant though this time that she wanted them. I told her that if she really wanted them we would go tomorrow. I wasn't sure she understood because she just repeated "Sefan earrings tomorrow". The next day as soon as she woke up she said "Suki shopping earrings Sefan ouch YES!" which deciphered means "Lets go shopping for my earrings...I know they will hurt". So we headed to the mall. The first jewlery store only had one working gun so they referred us to another store. I made the mistake of letting the clerk show her which earrings they had and she of course picked the BIGGEST PINKEST pair (way to big for her ears). I talked her down to a little pair of silver studs. Luckly she is pretty easy going. She kind of freaked a bit when they started to put on the gloves but calmed quickly. She was sooooo brave and only made a "stink face" when they did them. No tears!

Teeth Part 1

2009-07-25T21:43:00.003-04:00

Things have been very very busy around here. I am sorry for the lack of updates!!
I have really been trying to focus on getting us settled and it feels like we are trying to make up for 4 years of life that we missed with Sefan in a month.

This week we went for her first dental surgery to repair her decayed teeth. We first became aware of her dental issues from pictures from other adoptive parents who visited Sefan's orphanage. In Sefan's pictures she rarely smiles with her teeth. However in one photo we got a glimpse. We wish we could have gotten to her home earlier because her teeth continued to decay in the 7 months since the first picture was taken. Basically the front 4 front teeth have severe decay and most of the molars have cavaties. Our dentist has been FANTASTIC about helping us to figure out the best course of action to correct the issues in a way that will not affect her ability to learn English and eat solid foods. Many friends have suggested that we pull all 4 front teeth since they are baby teeth and the dental work can be expensive but we decided to go forward with the more expensive route because we think it will be best for Sefan in the long run. At this point there is no way we could explain to Sefan that we are about to pull her front 4 top teeth....I am sure it would be very traumatizing for her and might affect her trust in us.
we are very very thankful to have dental issurance to help offset the cost of Sefan's dental work. She will have 3 crowns put on the front 4 top teeth and one will have to be pulled because it is too far gone for the dentis to save. She will have a crown in the back and 5 fillings. We completed the first surgery on Wednesday and the second will be this coming Wednesday.
We had to arrive early on Wednesday because Sefan was not supposed to eat or drink for 8 hours before the surgery. They had her drink an orange liquid medication to sedate her. She didn't like it at all but she obeyed and drank it. Then we sat in the inner waiting area to watch some cartoons. After a few minutes Sefan couldn't put her puzzles together anymore because she was so dizzy. I picked her up and she fell asleep. When I passed her off to the hygienist she woke up and started to fuss. She fussed for another 3 or 4 minutes but then she calmed. They gave her some laughing gas and strapped her to the papoose board because the sedation makes her body go the way her head goes and they didn't want her to fall off the chair. The procedures took about an hour and a half. They did only one side of her mouth with 2 cavities filled and 2 crowns on the front teeth. When they brought her out to me she was calm but fussed when she saw me. Her lips were still numb. We were so impressed with the result! The crowns look FANTASTIC! She is soooo happy with them too. Before we had the procedure I had seen her looking at her teeth in the mirror and she has told me before "Sefan black teeth". Also this helped to relieve some of the pain she has when she eats. I am hoping the next surgery goes just as well. It is more extensive and she already told me "Dr. Jim.....NO". It will be difficult to get her to cooperate again and I am sure she will be confused when she loses the front tooth but it should eliminate her pain when eating.
Here is a picture of the result from the first surgery. The right side is complete. The left side will be done on Wednesday

Fun at the Y

2009-07-13T22:08:00.001-04:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com
Slide fun at the YMCA. You have to love the "sticky buns" at the end.

Sefan's colors!!!

2009-07-13T21:40:00.004-04:00

Sefan is such a smarty!!! In the last 2 weeks she has learned all of her colors!! She is such a sponge! She was having some trouble with the color red because it sounds like "bread". We will keep working on the pronunciation of that one but for week 2 home it is still pretty good. (Sorry it is sideways and dark...)

How is Sefan doing now? Part 2

2009-07-08T16:55:00.002-04:00

How is Sefan doing part 2

Food

Sefan is not really having a lot of trouble with food. She does not like anything with sugar. So for breakfast she like to eat plain oatmeal. She doesn’t like milk at all so this is the only time I can sneak it in. We still serve milk at dinner and she tries a tiny bit of it each time but won’t drink more than a TBSP full. She LOVES banannas and apples which we let her eat as much of any time she wants them. She also likes whole wheat bread (not a big fan of white). We have not really had any trouble with the food adjustment as she loves spaghetti, pizza, enchilladas, and ….ummm afraid to admit KFC (this is one she recognizes by sight unfortunatley) She also likes to keep clean at all times so if she happens to get food on herself she gets very upset and demands that she be changed immediately…but she doesn’t want to wear a bib. Overall food is going well. She will try the things she doesn’t like initially so eventually I think she will develop a taste for more foods like cheese and milk products.

What she learned at Kunkeet

I was pleasantly surpised that she learned to count to 10 (skipping 8) and understands the concept of 1 to 1 …i.e. counting a row of things. She also can sing the alphabet song with her cute little accent. I was happy to see this since in the videos of the other kids singing she was usually quiet. We are also blessed with a set of videos from another adoptive parent and ones I took on my own of the children singing songs in Oromo. I can’t thank the head nanny enough for initiating this songs for me to record. Sometimes I hear Sefan singing them and I am so glad that we will be able to keep this part of her language and culture.

What she has learned so far as far as language

She continues to gain about 2-3 words a day in expressive language (words she uses on her own without prompting). Her receptive language (understanding what is spoken to her) is getting better day by day. Today she pointed to the bread and said “bed” and I was like “huh” then she said “bed” again and I said “bread” and she said “bed” and I said “bread” and she said “bed” this went on a few more times and I said “Brrrrrrrrrread” with a rolled R and she finally got it “bRead”. In the car on the way to the Y she was thirsty and said the Oromo word for I think “water” (she changed it on me btw….she used to say boochonaye)….then she said Woooha (water in amharic) and then water (she must have been very thirty btw). At bed time we say “I love you” in 3 languages! Amharic “eh wad ee shah low” and in Oromo “Sin ja la da”. She is very very interested in learning her colors right now. This started with the beads and string bracelets we made in ET. As we put a bead on we would say its color. She had Yellow, Pink, and white down with no problem Her favorite sentence is “Where’s Yellow?”

Sefan likes to watch Barney. We have a Barney Colors DVD that she begs for all the time. We let her watch it once day even though she begs for more! It is nice that she will sit (or dance around) to the video so mommy can have a little bit of time to catch up on the housework.

Attachment to daddy

Sefan is very very attached to me and has not been very receptive to attaching to Torrey. He has been very patient about it though and continues to gently care for her and try to show her that he is a super fun daddy. They play together very happily as he gives her “donkey” rides and as I write this is letter her dunk him under the water in the pool. However, Sefan still has to have me in her sights at all times or she freaks out a bit. Even when all of the kids are playing on the main floor of the house with daddy and I am taking a break in my room she will come up every 15 minutes or so to make sure I am still there. Also when we are getting in the van to go places she watchs me like a hawk to make sure I am coming….if I have to go back in the house to grab something she will often start to freak out and cry for me until I come back out. Torrey is always there trying to gently remind her that mommy will be back and she is coming with us. Torrey is trying so hard to win her heart and little by little she is letting him in but it may take longer than we expected.

BEDTIME

With the craziness of our final journey home we really didn’t have a lot of trouble getting back on Eastern time. Sefan slept with me for the first 2 days but I don’t sleep well with children in my bed so we started to make the transition to the girls sleeping together in their room together. At first she was resistant to the idea and did fuss for awhile before she fell asleep. Wubitu was a such a good sport through it all as she lay beside her trying to go to sleep as Sefan fussed in her ear. At nap the next day she was equally upset because I had not enforced a nap time up until then but it was quite evident that both girls needed a nap that day. Bed time was much better because Torrey worked his daddy magic and somehow had Wuby show her that this was the routine every night and there was not a single fuss out of her that night or since. Sefan is afraid to sleep up in their princess lofts so we got out the 2 toddler mattresses and put them side by side under the lofts for the girls (Luckily they are both still little enough for the toddler mattresses!) After awhile I am sure that Sefan will start to become more adventurous and will soon be enjoying the lofts with Wubitu but we are taking baby steps for now.

BROTHERS

Sefan has a very special bond with Noah. Since that first day that he played with her in the car while we came home from the airport he has been her favorite. She likes to snuggle up to him on the couch and watch TV and give him big kisses on his cheeks. Noah dotes on her just like he does on Wubitu. He likes to tell the girls that they are “sooooo pretty”. One day Noah told Sefan she was cute and Wubi was like “I am cute too Noah, right…..Noah….tell me I am cute…..NOAH!” Carter has been a pretty good sport about this all. Sometimes Sefan is overly affectionate for his liking and he call for me to try to tell her to calm down a bit. He is all about pretend play and he and Wubitu like to play baby or puppy which Sefan finds HILARIOUS.

PLAY

Sefan is very different compared to Wubitu with regards to play. Wubitu is all about people and RARELY plays with toys at all. Even when we try to play with toys she will usually just climb on your back to wrestle. Sefan likes to build with legos and the big mega blocks, and play cars. She is quite content to sit and build a tower or make a bead necklace to keep herself busy. She is however SCARED stiff to see baby dolls and stuffed animals. Not sure why with the baby dolls but she won’t even go near them. I had to put the stuffed animals (which are Wubitu & Carter’s favorite…they like to play zoo or pet shop) in a tub and cover them with a blanket for her. She LOVES anything with buttons so her favorites are the little cash register and Wubi’s Disney store cell phone.

More to come!!!

First pics of all 4 Ehrman children

2009-07-05T14:06:00.006-04:00

How is Sefan doing now? Part 1

2009-07-05T14:06:00.001-04:00

Wubitu
When Sefan and Wubitu first met they were soooo cute together! They are officially 1 ½ inches and 2 lbs difference in size….Sefan is a tad smaller. The first order of business between them was to decide how to split up the princess dresses. Wubitu is quite attached to the Belle dress because the straps go off the shoulders and Sefan wanted the Sleeping Beauty dress because she LOVES pink….those 2 dresses were the most important…they rest it seems they have decided they can share equally. We left the girls to play in their room and we didn’t hear a peep out of them for an hour! Did I mention they are sooo cute together!
Since their first meeting they have had several squables as they try to feel each other out. It is hard because they both are about the same age and wear the same size clothes so they basically have to learn to share EVERYTHING. Wuby has been a really good sport about it really because basically everything she owned by herself now belongs also to her sister. There have been a few things that she has not been too happy to share, like her cell phone from the Disney store but we are doing our best as parents to work it out. I know the girls are having trouble because they don’t speak the same language. Sefan still jabbers on and on in Oromo and thinks that you understand her. Wuby will make up some jibberish back to her when they are playing. One day I heard her say…..Sefan when are you gong to be done talking all of this Ethiopia talk and just speak English. I am sure Sefan feels the same way…….I think she had a crying melt down on day 2 home because she saw how easily wubi and I communicated and she wanted to be understood the same way.
Language- Sefan is eager to learn English but it is slow going. She knows: shopping, motorcycle, donkey, bike, eat, baby, flower, our names, “just a minute”, thank you, I love you, belly, dress, shirt, pants, shoes, cookie (even though she won’t eat them), and “enough” (from when she has been whimpering for 20 minutes about not wanting to share….mommy says “enough fussing….time to get over it and move on”)
More later…..

Day 16

2009-07-05T13:56:00.002-04:00

Day 16 Saturday
When we reached Washington Dulles airport I tried to hurry off the plane to try to get on the waitlist quickly for an earlier flight to Indianapolis. The plane landed at 8am and our flight to Indy was at 10pm…. That's right a 14 hour layover. The 2 earlier flights were full. We were first through immigration but I forgot that we were the first to check in in Ethiopia so our luggage was one of the last to come off the plane . When we finally got to the ticket counter we were 9th on the waitlist……4 people made it onto the flight but we waited anyway hoping by some small miracle we could avoid the long wait. We were rolled over to 5pm flight waitlist but the lady at the counter said to not count on making that flight either because it was overbooked. So I had to come to terms with the fact that I would have to find something to do at the airport for 14 hours. From being dropped at the airport in Ethiopia to arriving home will be more than 40 hours of travel. I was CRAVING American food so we fit the Wendy’s at the airport and I savored every bite of my frosty and french fries but hd to save my sandwich for later. Sefan enjoyed the french fries but didn’t really like the frosty of chicken nuggets. An hour after we didn’t make the noon flight I started to freak…we had walked every hallway, taken every shuttle and I couldn’t imagine doing it for another 7 hours. Luckily my hubby called to tell me that there was a bus that came to the airport every hour to take people to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum….for only a dollar!!! Admission to the museum itself was free also!!! So I worked to pack our carry ons into one bag and we waited for the bus outside the airport…..it was a few minutes late so I almost thought T was pulling my leg or read wrong…..really a dollar to go the museum?? But it pulled up next to the care rental shuttles and we loaded with several other people. At the Air and Space museum our bags were searched and we had to spit out the gum…but for real no admission fees!!
The museum was pretty fabulous but I wish the boys had been there to see it, they would have loved it. Sifan was exhausted and not very cooperative. She was refusing to sit in the stroller and I couldn’t carry her the entire way so we spent some tantrum time in the bathroom because she refused to walk or sit in the stroller. Finally she decided to stay in the stroller. One of the security guards stopped me to ask what country Sefan was from. He was from Sudan. We had a good conversation and I was thankful that he better understood adoption than the guards at the airport. After about 2 hours we perused the gift shop together and she talked me into one of those light swirling toys that you have to keep away from people with epilepsy. When we went out to wait for the bus Sefan fell asleep in my arms…..I wanted to go back into the museum to take in more but it wasn’t worth the hassle of having the bags searched and possibly waking her. Thankfully a young man helped me to load my stroller and carryons while I carried Sefan to our seats. He also helped me off and waited while I got Sefan situated and my carryons loaded on my back. I wheeled Sefan back into the security check line completely passed out. This time through the person checking our boarding passes and airline tickets decided to get picky with the fact that Sifan’s name was spelled Sefan instead of Sifan. After a few minutes he let me pass thankfully. I had to take Sefan’s shoes off, pick her up and fold up her stroller to pass through the security scanner. Thankfully someone else in line helped me get everything situated. Then we loaded everything back and Sefan continued to sleep. I left her shoes off because they smelled so bad. She refused to wear socks with her tennis shoes so her feet really needed to air out! I walked around with her asleep for an hour then headed to our gate. I typed up my day 13 blog post and realized I still had 4 hours before we would board the airplane. With almost no sleep in 40+ hours I couldn’t stay awake. I wheeled us to our gate near where some airport employees sat chatting parked Sifan facing toward me and passed out on the bench. I woke up an hour later and felt like I could make it the rest of the journey. A man from Ethiopia working at the airport sitting by us wanted to talk adoption……I was still really tired and a bit sick of explaining adoption to people at that point that I didn’t go into much detail with my answers this time….. especially the one about why couldn’t I have my “own” girls…..oy….I just said I adopted my own….then rolled over and curled back up on my bench to rest again. Sefan slept through it all. She ddn’t wake until 1 hour before the plane ride…..I was going to the bathroom and there was some time of rush and the chorus of toilets flushing woke her. We grabbed some dinner at Subway and waited at our gate. Sefan curled up on my lap and fell asleep again. When we went to board I was thankful that a young lady helped us on the airplane by pushing our stroller and carryons to our seat while I carried sleeping Sefan. I sat Sefan beside me and buckled her seat belt, happy she was asleep so she wouldn’t scream the entire flight. After the seat belt light went off I sat her on my lap and fell aleep myself until we were about to land. Seeing the lights of Indianapolis brought tears to my eyes. I was almost home….almost in the arms of my husband that I missed so much….almost the end of this long crazy journey. Sefan woke just as we were coming off the plane and she didn’t want to go into the stroller again….so I tried to carry here and push the stroller full of carryons for the long walk but it was just too heavy. We were so close!!! We took a few minutes and I tried to put her in the stroller again, thankfully she finally sat down and I pushed her to finally meet her daddy. I melted in my husband’s arms before introducing our new daughter……being away so long makes you realize even more how much you love someone. Sefan was shy and sat quietly in her stroller. I picker her up and showed her to daddy….she wouldn’t go to him but smiled. Noah was there too and gushed about how pretty she was. Carter and Wuby stayed at grandma’s house because it was midnight before our plane landed and we wanted them to be happy when they first met their sister. I pointed to Sefan’s pictures we had in Ethiopia and then to Daddy and Noah to make it clear that these are the people in the photos she has cherished these last 2 weeks. She was still a bit leery but slowly warmed up. She wouldn’t let anyone but mommy pick her up but she started to play hide and seek with Noah after awhile. We walked together to the car and she let me buckle her without much fussing (THANK GOODNESS). Noah sat with her in the back seat and played with her. The 2 ½ hour drive home went fairly well….Noah was a HUGE blessing as he kept her busy and happy almot the entire trip. He really is a FABULOUS big brother. They formed a very special bond in those first hours….he is her favorite sibling now.
When we got home Noah and daddy played bunna (coffee ceremony) with Sifan and showed her her room and clothes….she kept saying konjo (pretty) to everything. She was so excit3d and daddy and noah were super excited too. We played until 3 am then Sefan crawled into bed with me and fell asleep quickly.
We were finally HOME!!!!

Day 15

2009-06-29T14:19:00.002-04:00

Day 15 Friday
I was supposed to go out on the town with Gutu last night but I kept missing his call. In the morning Dr. A called to ask for my email so he can send torrey and I an apology. I really appreciate the gesture from him. These last 2 weeks have been a crazy roller coaster. I am kind of glad in a weird way that I didn’t have internet access at Notool because I got to see that BFAS’s actions were not in reaction to what I wrote but more because they were trying to do what is right on their own. Korsa also told me that Agitu said I had to pay $80 for 2 days and $40 for the rest of the days for my extended stay at the guest house. (coincidentally that turned out to be the exact amount I had left in US Dollars and ET birr together). I thought that was fair and I am glad that BFAS worked to help make thing right in the end. In the morning I went with Korsa to the embassy to pick up sifan’s passport and packet for immigration. It really felt real this time!!! Then we took the minibus to the Hilton to confirm again our flights. Sefan and my seats were not together…oy…they said that they couldn’t fix it there but they could at the airport. After the ride home we ate some lunch and the plan was to go back to the Care Center one last time but it started to pour down rain so I couldn’t walk there. Atagu put Sifan’s hair into cornrows for me (Sifan’s hair is so short there is no way I could even come close to doing it. Sefan hung out with the ladies at the guest house while I finished packing and mentally preparing for the ride home.
Kalb from New Flower came over to pick up the phone I rented. I had asked him about a refund for the 4 days I did not stay at New Flower and he said No they would not give me a refund….grrrr. They collected everything within the first 5 minutes of my arrival.
We arrived at the airport at 5:30 and the ET airlines counter was not open, so Sifan and I pushed our luggage around for about half an hour and then were one of the first groups to check in. They fixed our seats so we were together and we were off to fill out our exit forms…..and then the long wait until the flight boarding. On our first walk around the airport Sifan became obsessed with a toy car she saw in the window of a toy store that was closed. She refused to move from that window for 30 minutes…..when I tried to get her to move on she grunted at me and tried to open the locked door. After some goofing off she finally left the window and we found a store that took visa and picked out her favorite….a big pack of banana gum…..when we went to check out they said that visa wasn’t working……oy….so I left the gum and tried to slip out of the store quickly and quietly but Sifan was furious and started another fit. After I got her to calm down we walked the airport back and forth for an hour. Then the guards stopped us to ask about adoption. Their English was limited so I had to answer the same questions over and over again. During this time of about an hour sifan was repeatedly standing on the bench and taking a nose dive trusting that I would catch her then she would laugh hysterically. I was sweating after an hour and I couldn’t get her to stop…she was tired and non compliant and I couldn’t not catch her or she would really hurt herself…..and I spoke firmly to her she would have caused a big scene in the airport……Way passed her bed time at 10 we boarded the airplane. She fell asleep before we took off thankfully. She just climbed into my arms and passed out. Sleeping is always interesting on ET airlines……the seats are uncomfortable and you are trying to sleep sitting up and on this trip home I wanted Sifan to sleep as long as she could so she would be in a good mood. Unfortunatley I had to wake her when we got to Rome because the flight attendants wanted her upright and buckled. Well….that was a disaster to say the least as she is not used to seat belts since it is rare to see them in ET…plus she is tired from being woken up so she screamed and writhed and struggled and screamed some more. Then she got into her I am not listening to anything you are saying mood and I knew that It would be 20 minutes before she calmed down and would listen again….I tried to wipe her tears and she swatted at me. The flight attendants tried to get her to calm and the lady across the aisle to…..but she continued to scream about the seat belt. Finally the flight attendant said to just put the seat belt on right before we landed and took off so the whole plane didn’t have to suffer. When we landed in Rome for refueling Sifan said she had to go to the bathroom and we waited in the line to go but the Italian crew came on to clean the cabin and kicked us out before I could take her potty……tired and afraid she was going to wet herself I informed the flight attendant who told us to take our seat without going potty that she would be changing Sifan’s clothes if she wet herself (apparently no filter when I am tired). An hour later we were finally able to go to the bathroom….thankfully no accidents. Sifan stayed awake for about 3 hours and we played all kinds of games…….counting down the hours left was agonizing….The rest of the flight was basically trying to sleep and trying to pass the time….and more screaming anytime the seat belt had to be on.

Day 14

2009-06-29T14:14:00.002-04:00

Day 14 Thursday
I didn’t sleep much because I was so nervous about our embassy appointment in the morning. Sifan and I were up at 6 and ready to go at 7. At 7:30 I started to panic sand tried to call Korsa….I think my phone was out of outgoing minutes so I had Betti call on the other phone. Korssa’s phone was busy. We tried to get through to Dr. A. We finally got him on the phone at 8am……he said Korsa should have been there and that maybe Beti could take me in a taxi or on the minibus to get there. Beti said no and told him she would call Nuni to come and take me by taxi or minibus……so we waited outside the gate for Nuni to come…..at 8:30 Korsa walks up to the guest house casually. I told him we had an embassy appointment and he seemed surprised. He called Dr. A….. my strong wall broke down…..I started to lose it again. Korsa handed me the phone with Dr A on it and he said that they don’t have the medical document at the embassy…….and that we will go another time….I told him my plane leaves tomorrow night and I need to go home!!! He said…yes yes we will go to the embassy tomorrow. I said will they have Sifan’s visa ready by then? Usually it takes a full day to get that….he said yes yes, they can do it……..i asked if he was sure and verified it with the embassy….he said yes.
Torrey tried to contact the embassy for me to verify because we didn’t want to take any chances of me having to stay another week. He sat on hold for 20 minutes then called me back to see if I could call…..I sat on hold for 30 minutes…; So we thought about Plan B…..I get my New Flower driver to take me to the Chicho clinic to get the results and take them myself to the embassy after lunch……but the driver must have had another client outside of the city because his phone was out of range. Plan C FREAK OUT….have a small panic attack and decide to call Dr. A again to tell him that I am very nervous about all of this. The embassy is only open on Friday for 3 hours…..can we send someone to the clinic to get the x-ray results….can we please get in today???? He said that he had an employee on it now to go to the clinic to get the results and we can try to make it today if we get the results and that the embassy is aware of the situation and will let us have a drop in appointment and get us out of here on the Friday flight……I only felt slightly better. The good news of the conversation was that Sifan’s chest x-ray was negative!!! We are cleared medically to come home!
So I decided to take Sefan for a walk to the Care Center….it always helps to clear my head and makes me feel like I am doing something important. Sefan walked a lot of the way with no problem....and she walked into the Care Center with no problem and I didn’t have to hold her hand the whole time!!!! She ev en played with the other kids for awhile….it was very nice. That freed me up to take TONS of pictures and video of the other kids. Unfortunately not all of the kids were there….most of the babies were out getting vaccinations….and a few siblings were at doctors appointments. Sefan and I spent the last week making beaded bracelets for all for all of the kids. We happily handed them out today and the nannies each got one too (the nannies were so cute!) The kids enjoyed flinging the bracelets in the air and putting them in their hair. Unfortunatley one broke and D tried to eat one of the beads….oops. It was great to get a better feel for each of the children’s personalities after spending more time there…..the “shy” ones were not so shy after a few hours. Right before I left the head nanny lead the kids in some songs…..I am so glad to have those on video for Sefan. Sefan knows so many songs that I am afraid she will forget when she learns English…..I hope these videos will keep her native language alive at least a little bit. Anyone in FW have a friend who speaks Oromo? As we were leaving the kids were getting ready to eat lunch…..they invited us to stay but they were having their regular injera and wot….and well…it was worth the chance that maybe Beti had made some nonEthiopian food back at the Guesthouse.
On the way home Sefan started to fuss for bananas but I didn’t have change and the banana guy I like (because he speaks English fairly well) tries to sell me 5 apples for $3.50 and I might actually give in this time….plus I didn’t want to carry her and the bananas back to the guest house. Her fussing became louder though as we passed the last stores before the guest house and I didn’t want to make a scene so we slipped into a store to buy some water and found banana flavored gum! She was sold! The guy there told me he was a tour guide and asked for my email to tell my friends about him…..and he carried my water to the guesthouse for me…..he mentioned that he say me with my friend last week and asked where she was…..after awhile here you forget that you stick out like a sore thumb being pasty and all.
The walk to the Care center always makes me feel better! We ate some lunch and played blocks. Then Betti came running up the stairs with her phone. She said that Korsa wants us at the US embassy in 20 minutes!!! So we grab out things and run to the taxis down the street and around the corner. There is only one taxi car there and he knows it…..i can tell Betti knows that the driver is charging too much because I am white but what can we do, we have to get there ASAP! So we get in and drive like maniacs. Korsa calls Betti and asks to talk to the driver. The driver slows down to hear what Korsa is saying…….he laughs and speeds up…Korsa just told him to hurryl About 5 miles from the Embassy the driver starts to go very slow and it seems like we are bumping on one side…..i thought for sure we had a flat tire!!! A little backfire and off we go in our pimped out ET taxi (fur around the stick shift and all) We get there and Korsa is waving frantically but the taxi driver keeps being pointed in different directions by men with big guns. He finally lets us off down the street and we run to the Embassy entrance. Pass through the 2 security check points and up the stairs. Korsa goes to the window to check us in and then asks me for the $400 visa fee. I tell him I already paid in the US and show him the receipt from the agency. He shows it to the embassy staff and they say that they need the agency to pay them. Korsa asks me why I paid in the US and I said that it was supposed to be “easier”. So he asks if I have $400..and I can only come up with $230 in birr……and Korsa only has $20……so he calls Frehiwot who is about 30 minutes out to bring the money. Korsa sits and waits for a few minutes with me and then goes out to wait for the money to arrive. I am FREAKING out by the way! Afraid we are not going to make it in time……after about 15 minutes I see the embassy staff leave their post and some head out the back door…..I start to bawl in true Kimberley style…..the old Ethiopian ladies who don’t speak any English try to comfort me and I tell them I just want to go home. After another 10 minutes I can’t stand it anymore and I go up to the US citizen’s window and ask them if I can still have an interview….the agency is coming with the money….I have already been here to long…..and I just want to go home……crying again. They said that as long as they have the money by 4 I would be fine….still freaking a bit but not as much….i sit down and am running out of things to keep Sefan busy….I try my best but she is tired from the long walk to the care center and I didn’t pack anything in my purse during the rush out the door….a few minutes (felt like an eternity) later Korsa comes in with a big wad of birr…..pays the lady and checks us in…..10 minutes later we are called to the window. The lady was different from who usually does the interviews so she was a bit uncertain but very very very nice. Everything went well and I asked when we can pick up the passport and visa for Sefan and she wrote the time down for me and handed me Sefan’s official BC, and court documents. WE PASSED THE EMBASSY!!!!
Korsa and I jumped for joy and praised God that we made it!!! Betti was waiting outside for us with a HUGE smile! We all caught a taxi and headed back to the guest house. I asked Korsa what happened with Sifan’s age because in the court documents it says that 2 days before our court date Sefan’s age was changed to 2 1/2 officially by the courts. He said that the embassy said she was 2 ½ and not 3 ½ and they had to change the paperwork to match it. Good to know!
When we got back I repacked everything……I am leaving tomorrow!! For real!!!!! Betti was so sweet and gave me a bracelet as a gift for passing the embassy. I sang a made up we are going home tomorrow song until Sefan put her hand over my mouth to stop. Going home!!! I almost forget what home is like now.

Day 13

2009-06-29T14:08:00.004-04:00

Day 13 Wednesday-
Only 2 more wakeups until we leave!!! (PRAYING). I am now an early riser…who would have known…..I hear the shock from those that know me well over here in Ethiopia!! I wake at first light and lay there thinking. At 8am I called Dr. A here in ET who is in charge of BFAS to make sure everything was in order for the Embassy tomorrow. He said the medical Dr. will send the results of the chest x-ray at 4 today to the embassy and our appointment is for Thursday morning at 8am. I am very very anxious for the appointment hoping everything falls into place and we can leave on Friday. Torrey called ET airlines for me yesterday because I had a sneaking suspicion that they only changed my ticket from Tuesday to Friday and not Sifan’s. I was right when he called they forgot to do Sifan’s ticket. He is still trying to get me into an earlier flight from DC to Indy so we don’t have to wander around the airport for 14 hours. I may just have to be on standby at the DC airport….
I spent some time packing today separating things into piles of donations and everything that is coming home, hoping to fit it all into one suitcase. I think it will all fit! I also spent some time writing thank you notes for those that have a huge blessing to me throughout this LONG journey. Specifically Gutu, for teaching more about Ethiopia and taking me out when I needed a break. Bethelehem, for translating for me, and making such fabulous food. Abynish for helping to care for Sifan while I was out with Gutu and letting Sifan help her throughout the day to keep her busy. Atagu for playing games with her and letting me video her and Sifan playing a few traditional ET games for Sifan’s life video. The gatekeeper for running out for water for us and fixing things around the house. These 5 have been lifesavers here for me. I really appreciate their help as I am sure I would have lost my mind by now without them.
After lunch Sifan and I walked to the Care Center. The children were laying down for a nap….there was 1 twin size bed and about 4 cribs for about 15 children. The children were talking and singing. I looked in on the babies and most were sleeping. I feed one of the babies who had a bottle propped. I checked the toy shed and most all of the toys were gone…only a few remained.
The good news is that Sfan allowed me to put her down this time when I was there and only had to hold my hand. She still would not let any of the nannies touch her. I think this made them upset but they have to understand that she had been through a trauma there as they ripped her from my arms and what was to keep them from doing it again. She is too small to understand the politics of it all.
At 4pm I called DR. A (in charge of BFAS) to make sure that the clinic sent the results of the chest x-ray to the embassy. He said I needed to let them work and it would all be there for me tomorrow for the 8 am embassy appointment. I asked who would be picking me up and he said Korsa. I asked again to make sure that my appointment was 8am and that the medical would be there on time….he said yes…I will call to make sure. He never called me back.
Sifan is so bored here. There is only so much you can do here for 2 weeks. I finally pulled out the not so proper child busyness techniques…..we did somersaults on the couch. She loved it and it killed another hours worth of time. We played blocks again and basically watched the clock. The height of entertainment was a bird trying repeatedly to fly through the glass door….and watching the cats walk slowly through the barbed wire on top of all of the walls and gates.

Day 12

2009-06-29T14:07:00.001-04:00

Day 12 Tuesday
Sifan slept in until 6:30 this morning!!! She was so tired from being out all night. I called a driver for the morning so I didn’t have to take the minibus. I wanted to make sure to get to the Hilton to change our flight and to clinic as early as possible to get the chest x-ray done asap. The line at ET airlines was short this time and we were so happy to hear that we got on the Friday flight…but the noon flight from DC to Indy was full….so we would arrive on Friday at 8 am and not be able to fly to Indy until 10:30pm…yuck. I asked to be put on the waiting list for the earlier flight. (later called Torrey to have him call the airline a few times a day to get us on the earlier flight.)
Next we rushed to Chicho clinic to get the official TB results. When we arrived Nuni went to business and I was sat with the doctor to shoot the breeze apparently. He said that Nuni kept calling to get the results…he seemed annoyed. He then told me that he would not have the results from the IOM until 3 that afternoon……oy! I said the IOM told me that they would send it yesterday afternoon. He said he didn’t’ even know if she needed a chest x-ray and that they only do them if the result is 5mm or more…I told him that I watched him measure 12-13mm so she needed one and I need the chest x-ray results by Thursday at 12 for my embassy appointment. I asked him how long it would take to get the chest x-ray results and he said 2-3 days......see panic in my eyes……..I told him I had already been here too long and already missed an embassy appointment so I needed them by Thursday at 12….he said he can see what he can do……he heads back to the back room…..where Nuni is and comes back 15 minutes later with the results….then he writes a referral for the chest x-ray. We jump in the car and take the 5 minute ride to the clinic for the chest x-ray. Unfortunately nobody at the chest x-ray clinic speaks English so I couldn’t confirm anything myself or ask clarification questions. Outside of the x-ray room- literally outside in the open air is a line that held films for previous x-rays. After a few minutes a woman came out of the room and asked for Sifan’s papers. We waited another 20 minutes then a man walked out of the room. He gave me a funny look and I said chest x-ray for Sifan and he said paper, and I said the woman already took them. He went back in the room and 10 minutes later called us in. The room was dark and kind of “Lost” or “Alias” creepy. Nuni got Sifan ready while I stayed out of the way….she was fussy at me for not buying her earrings at the Hilton still (see a spoiled little girl trend here?). After the x-rays were complete the doctor told Nuni to wait and we would get the results in a few minutes. After 20 minutes the man told Nuni that he would not give us the result and would send it to the embassy. So we came home. Tomorrow I will call the embassy to make sure they received the chest x-ray and to confirm that I have an appointment.
After lunch Sifan and I enjoyed a nice nap on the couch and it rained on and off throughout the afternoon and evening.
We finally found a mutually enjoyable game. Meg left us some big legos to play with here at the guest house and to donate after we leave. We both enjoy building together. It has been the first thing I have been able to get her to focus on. We tried other games and such but she repeatedly laughs and throws herself backward for no reason and it gets frustrating. There isn’t a lot to do here so we get bored easily but are trying to keep busy. Abinish, Atogu, and Beti have been great to let her “help” here and there. She loves to help at the coffee ceremony and they listen to her tell them about her picture book for the 200th time with smiles on their faces. One day when I was still trying to figure out what to do to get us home Beti was teaching Sifan to draw flowers with her crayons. The girls have been a lifesaver in this extra long unexpected delay in coming home.
Yesterday I had to give up my underwear to be washed….how humiliating….They didn’t come back with the rest of the clothes yesterday and I was holding off on asking them if my granny panties got mixed in with someone else’s laundry. This afternoon I saw them laying on my bed!! YEAH!!!

Day 11

2009-06-29T14:02:00.002-04:00

Day 11 Monday
Monday morning Nuni came to take us to IOM to read Sifan’s skin TB test. I was surprised that BFAS did not have a car for us we had to take the equivalent of the city bus to get to the clinic. I wore flip flops and was not ready for the hike to the bus station. Nuni said the car was not available. We were told on Monday to come at 9am to have the skin test read. We arrived a few minutes after 9 and were told that there was no one there to read the test and we had to wait until 11am. So we sat outside with several other people waiting for TB tests and results. I sat next to a family on a bench outside. They were hoping to get a visa to come to the US to join the woman’s husband who is a doctor in Maryland. The kids spoke pretty good English and asked lots and lots of questions about adoption. Sifan showed them her photo book and proudly told them everyone’s names. After about 40 minutes of questions and the woman’s diagnosis of the reason for my miscarriages, thankfully Sifan got tired of sitting so we walked around a bit. At 10am someone came down to say that the doctor would see us to read the skin test and everyone ran up the stairs to be seen. Sifan’s TB skin test site was swollen, red and sore. The doctor looked at it and shook his head. He took out his clear ruler and measured 12mm. He spoke English and told me he would send the result to the Chicho (keekoh) clinic that afternoon. So we went to the Chicho clinic by minibus. In the waiting room many of the women spoke Oromo and talked to Sifan. I didn’t understand anything they were saying except when they asked Sifan if I was her mother and she said no, ferengi (foreigner)….oy. After about 30 minutes Nuni came out to tell me that we needed a passport size photo of Sifan and that the results would be sent to the clinic that afternoon. So we went to the photo studio. There we ran into Freihiwot in her car and the driver for BFAS in his car with some of the children. We ran up to the photo studio and they took Sifan’s picture and told us to come back at 6 for the photo (not sure if that was ET time or regular time….noon or 6pm). As we were coming down we happened to run into Frehiwot as she was leaving and asked for a ride back to the Guest House. Thankfully she saved us another minibus ride. After lunch I called to check to see if someone had called to get the results from the clinic so we could go for the chest x-ray. Helen and Yoseph, Agitu’s family was very helpful in translating what was going on to me….I would have been totally lost without them. They helped me to push to get things done here. So at 4pm Nuni arrived to say that we were going to the clinic to get the results. We stopped at the photo studio for the pictures and they said they were not ready because the power had been out. Nuni pushed to get them to print out our picture out of order. While we waited Sifan and I looked at some shoes next door. Every time we walked past the store she would whine and say “suki” (shopping). So we tried some shoes on and they were all too big so I told her we would buy bananas instead. As we were shopping Nuni handed me the phone with someone form IOM. I had no clue what I was asking for and neither did the guy on the phone. I handed the phone back to her and she continued a long conversation that I later realized she was talking to the lab that read the result (IOM) to tell them to send the result to the Chicho clinic as they had promised. They agreed and we sped over to the clinic by minibus and then by taxi (without the bananas….and now with a very mad Sifan). By the time we got there they were closed. So we asked the taxi to take us to the Hilton to change my flight from Tuesday to Friday. At the Ethiopian Airlines office I took a number and then 30 minutes later they realized that the numbers were out of order. So some that came after me were served before me. Another hour later (and several trips of Nuni taking Sifan to the bathroom) I reached the airline desk. The Friday flight was full but we were put 4th on the waiting list. They had a flight for Saturday so they said to come back at 12 et time (6am) to see if we made the Friday flight and if not to finalize the Saturday flight. By that time it was 8pm.
We decided to eat at the Hilton and I really enjoyed treating Nuni to whatever she wanted. She said this was her first time because it is very expensive (for real…even by American standards for some things. I really needed the American atmosphere though….I miss bland old American food!!!) Nuni enjoyed some Zil Zil tibs and I had another salad!! YEAH SALAD!! And some chicken!!! Service was slow and it was after Sifan’s bedtime so she started to get antsy and tried to eat her bread under the table. Nuni was fabulous and took her on her lap and told her something to keep her very very quiet and still. I wasn’t sure what it was until I saw her make the cut your throat motion to Sifan…..apparently she told Sifan that the guy that makes pizza doesn’t like kids to make noise or move around a lot and that he would hurt her is she was loud….he did look scary….and not the way I would have done it in America but it worked for the time and situation for sure. Nuni was a lifesaver for this American who is too full of Ethiopian spices. Nuni’s English is very limited but we tried our best to communicate. She said she is going to school to be a nurse. She has 3 months left and then an internship. She has 7 brothers and sisters and she is in the middle of them all 3 older 4 younger than her. Her parents are farmers. Her older sister is working as a maid in Dubai because there is no work in Ethiopia. She says her sister likes it there. After dinner it was 9:30 so we headed out to get a taxi. The taxis outside the Hilton said 90birr ($9). Way too expensive….then as we walked away they said 60 but we decided to walk up to the bus station a few blocks away. After a few minibus changes Sifan fell asleep so we had to carry her from stop to stop. I was an interesting experience. Kind of scary when we made our way through the part of town without Electricity (which also means no street lights). (side bar on electricity…..since there has not been enough rain as predicted the city is split in half….half of the city has electrify and then it switches the next day and the other half has electricity. Usually the change over happens at 2-3am. So everyone knows when the scheduled outages are).
So about 10pm we finally walked into the guesthouse with a very heavily sleeping Sifan. Nuni and I traded off carrying her for about a total of ½ a mile. She stayed asleep and I came down to update H and Y on the status of the chest x-ray situation. I told them about how Nuni kept Sifan quiet and she said it is definitely a cultural thing. Her son was talking on and on and on and one of the relatives told him that they would cut his tongue out if he was not quiet for at least a little bit. Also she said that when children are crying at night sometimes they say that the Hyenas will come for them. Interesting insight for Wubitu who is still horribly frightened to see dogs….she climbs on the kitchen table when they come near.
H and Y were headed to the southern border of Ethiopia near Kenya the next day for a couple of weeks to visit Y’s family. He left Ethiopia in 1985 and this was his first time back. He said that Addis looks the same as when he left except that now there are more apartments going up ….but from the ground it looks the same. Driving around Addis there are numerous apartments and condos going up all over the city. Some are government housing…when I ask people say they are for “long term payment”. Then right across the street there are condos for the rich. The bottom floor of these apartment and condos are store fronts.
So after saying goodbye to H and Y and wishing them a good trip I headed to bed to get ready for a busy morning.

Day 10

2009-06-29T14:01:00.000-04:00

Day 10 Sunday-
Sunday Sifan woke up tired & I had a bad headache. We both were a bit tired of one another and needed a break. Sifan wouldn’t listen to me and I was a bit impatient. Thankfully Gutu called to take me to the cinema. I left Sifan with Abinish (Ah BY nish) without any fuss; they were doing the coffee ceremony when I left. Gutu and I walked down to the market intersection where the minibuses are. We took a minibus to the Bole station and then another minibus to the Cinema. Gutu says that the cinema is run by 2 Americans. It was exactly what I needed missing home. We paid 30birr each ($3) to see The taking of Pelham 123. At the ticket counter you also pick your seats! So you don’t have to arrive early to get the ones you want. After we purchased our tickets we went to the Box Office Café and I tried to pick out some chocolate cake. I found a big piece for a dollar, but it didn’t taste like home….hard and not quite the same chocolate that I remember. I made Gutu eat it and he said it wasn’t very good in his opinion too. We had some great conversation about the differences between America and Ethiopia including the definition of cake…which should be spongy by the way. His English is excellent and it was nice to get away to some place that felt a little bit like home. We went into the theatre and they had the concession stand….popcorn was 2 birr (20 cents!!). I didn’t get any so we proceeded to the door and had to show the guard our tickets. He frisked us, checked my purse for a camera, and sent us in. They had stadium seating for about 100. The screen was smaller but the surround sound was good. The first preview was for some weird movie about a baby that bites people….bizarre…..then some normal ones,…then the preview for the horror film “Orphan”…..can we say awkward……..After that I had to go to the bathroom. So I excused myself and tried to ask the guard where the bathroom is…….no English……luckily someone coming out of the theatre knew what I was asking and showed me where to go. The movie was great! It was fabulous to get away. (I said that already huh…..homesick for sure). On the way out Gutu walked me through the Ethiopian version of Chuck-e-cheese. They had all types of arcade games…..I told him that this really felt like home. He reminded me that most people in Ethiopia cannot afford to take their kids there ever.
We walked a few miles to a place called the Old Milking Cow. It was down what seemed like an abandoned alley to a building that looked run down and there were a few doors missing on the first floor. Some kids were playing soccer around in the gravel. He forgot what floor it was on and asked a few people…..there were no signs. After no response we just got on the elevator and there was a small sign saying it was on the 10th floor. We entered a place much like a Texas roadhouse or something like it. It felt like home again. There was an incredible view from the 10th floor. I took a chance and ordered a Salad because I missed my daily salad so much and all of the fried food was upsetting my stomach. Gutu ordered a Coke even though I insisted that I would pay for his meal. We had a great time laughing about stuff……like his secret job for the Department of Defense as an undercover agent….I mean economist. He has a degree but said that working full time with only one degree can earn you about $100 a month. That is why he works many part time jobs on the side. He said it makes a person seem hopeless because you work so hard, you get an education but still cannot seem to obtain that “better life”. He says as an Ethiopian the only right you have as a citizen is to live in Ethiopia while in America and other nations the promise and security are so much more. I asked what his big dream would be and he said that you cannot dream big in Ethiopia there just are not that many opportunities…..just the hope that you can have a better life….maybe a TV…..or a car sometime. He really wants to go back to school to get another degree to get a better job but can’t afford the tuition. He said he was hoping to get a scholarship sometime to go back.
We talked about how adoptive parents’ reactions to their new children surprise him. He thinks that Americans are very compassionate…more than he is for sure. He saw me crying as I had to leave Sifan and said that the next day he was talking it over with his friend and just couldn’t understand it really….it is just a kid. He said he is surprised at how we treat our little ones like royalty. I tried to explain that many of us have been waiting a long time for a child and see them as a true gift. Maybe it was just the guy in his 20s talking.
After dinner we walked the town and he showed me different parts of Ethiopia. It really gave me a new view of Ethiopia. We probably walked 3-4 miles at night. It was GREAT. He helped me tell the people who regularly call my rental phone to stop calling me We finally walked to the Bole Minibus station and took a ride toward the guesthouse. It was a great night! Gutu promised to call me on Tuesday to see if Sifan and I would still be leaving. If not he said he would take me out again before I go.
When I got home Sifan was happy to see me and really tried to speak English for the first time. I really think she thinks I should learn to speak Oromo because the majority of the people here speak Oromo and I am the only one who speaks English exclusively so she really doesn’t even try to speak English very much….she just jabbers on and on in Oromo all day long.

Day 9

2009-06-29T14:00:00.000-04:00

Day 9 Saturday

Today Sifan tried to get up at 4 am but I rolled over and she finally got the idea that she needed to go back to sleep. I woke feeling a bit better but knew that I have to keep myself busy in order to not lose it again. So Sefan and I went shopping again before breakfast. We bought some stands for our coffee servers, a ball to play with in the courtyard when the car isn’t parked there, some hair lotion, and a donut. We came back and watched Handy Manny together until breakfast was ready (electricity today). I tried to play Candy Land with her but she didn’t quite get the concept but I will keep trying. After she got restless and whined for a makena (car) to come we decided to walk to the care center to take more pictures of the children there for their families in America…and to try to get Sifan to not be afraid to go there so that if we are here a lot longer we can go there to play and she will not be as bored. Sifan wanted me to carry her most of the way. I realize now how much I spoiled her. Several people looked at us and laughed. Finally a man walking with his son asked why I am carrying her. I told him that she cries when I put her down. He said that she will get weak if I carry her all the time (I am getting HUGE biceps btw…she is HUGE). So when we were away from all of the people in the market place I put her down and had her walk for awhile where if she fussed people wouldn’t see. She was fine and we kicked rocks together as we walked down the big hill to the Care Center. When she saw the gate she fussed, and she got louder as we got closer to the Care Center. She tried to run away. I tried to tell her I would not leave her but was only there to take pictures. I held her while I took photos. She was scared whenever a nanny came near. When they reached for her I said no she is scared and they smiled sweetly and let her be. We then went in to see the older kids who were meeting with the tutor. They sat quietly watching an English word video and repeated the words. I didn’t want to wake the babies again but got a picture of the one baby that was awake. The tutor was leaving at the same time so we walked together and talked. His name is Gutu and he works for the Department of Defense as an Economist. But he said that he doesn’t make enough money doing that so he works part time as a tutor for BFAS and teaching adults English. He teaches the children at Hannah’s Care Center 7 days a week 1.5-2 hours during the week and 3 hours on weekends. He lives about 5K from the Care Center and walked with a friend. I asked him what fun things there are to do in Addis and he told me they have a cinema for 30bir (about $3). He said it is top of the line for Ethiopia and is run by 2 Americans. He helped me figure out my cell phone number (rented phone) and promised to call me tomorrow to take me to the cinema. We parted ways almost all the way to the Guest House and I carried Sifan the rest of the way (he talked her into walking with us while he was there).

We were greeted by some yummy injera and wot with lots of berber spice like Sifan likes. She scarfed it down quickly after burning off all of those calories from the walk. Then a quick freshening up and my driver from New Flower picked us up to take us to Entoto (we asked the BFAS driver first but he said his car would not make it so Beti suggested I call the other driver). Sifan fell asleep in the car, which I was glad since she was exhausted from all of the walking. We wound up and round the mountain top and passed the wood carrying women. The driver estimated that they carry about 20-30+ kilos on their backs (not sure what that is in pounds), I have heard and read about the wood carriers but I didn’t realize that there were so many. I myself saw at least 100 women carried a huge bundle of long branches on their backs (and I am sure there were many more)….some bundles stuck out 5 feet on each side of the woman. They took tiny steps with their large bundles down the mountain road. I saw several stops along the way were woman gathered to rest their bundles. The driver said that they take the wood to the foot of the mountain and sell it then the wood is distributed throughout Addis.

At Entoto there was a fabulous museum with gifts to the church from Russia, France, Italy, etc., Olympic gold medals, and many things from the Emperor of Ethiopia from the 19^th century. Outside of the museum we toured the buildings where the emperor lived and did business. The ceilings were made of carved wood and leather…they still looked great….I took a picture for T because I know he would enjoy it more than I would. They had a lot of places to hold meat…..like 3 rooms with cow horns hanging from the wall like hooks to hold the meat. After the tour we got to take in the beautiful scenery. From Entoto you can see all of Addis. It was Fabulous! We wound back down the mountain and stopped at the weaver’s district to pick up dresses for Wubitu and Sifan. I was too tired to haggle. The ladies wrote down 240birr and I said 180…they smiled at each other and wrote 200….i said fine and so I paid $10 for each dress…though from the big smiles on the ladies faces I could tell I made their day (or they thought I was a crazy white woman who paid way too much for a pair of dresses). Either way the girls now have matching dresses for Sifan’s dedication at church.

We came home exhausted….and me sunburned….but only 4 more hours before bed…yeah!!

Torrey called and let the kids talk to Sifan. She had a huge smile on her face as she listened to their crazy chatter in the speaker phone. She said each of their names except Noah…I know he was sad about it so I tried and tried to get her to say it but she just sat listening. Wuby was so excited to hear her sister talk and Sifan had a big smile on her face hearing her voice. Wubi asked if I would bring her sister home when I come and she got really excited when I said yes. Carter was excited to tell me that grandma and grandpa let them choose between cereal, poptarts, and waffles for breakfast. Noah told me that he tried a new type of poptart and I told him I missed poptarts, hamburgers, Little Cearsars, and SALADS!!!!!!! I also assured Noah that Sifan can pick him out of the pictures and says his name all the time. That made him feel better. He is such the big brother…really the sweetest big brother to now 2 Ethiopian Princesses…he is always telling Wubi how beautiful she is when she comes down in her princess dresses to show off for him. Talking about the kids all together is fun….sifan will fit right in especially since she is so much like Carter and Wubitu, chatty, giggly, and goofy (while Noah is more quiet, and the “cool guy”).

After dinner, the ladies here gave me a break to catch up on my blogs by talking to Sifan for about an hour.

Torrey has an email into Senator Lugar and their office is sending off an email today in hopes of them reading it before the start of business on Monday to make our appointment. It is all a bit tricky since Ethiopia is 7 hours ahead of Indiana so by 8am Indiana time it is 3pm here and the US embassy closes at 3pm. T & I are also trying to diagnose the TB bump through Wiki……the result……inconclusive…likely positive…..praying for negative!

Day 8

2009-06-29T13:56:00.002-04:00

Day 8 Friday
I woke at around 4:30 am to a crazy guy driving the streets around the guest house honking and yelling through his loud speaker…. something I didn’t understand.. I never in my life wanted to throw food at someone more than that at him. Meg’s dad said we should keep a bucket of water by the window just in case he decides to do it again. Then the chanting over the loudspeaker started. Thankfully the power went out at 5 and the chanting stopped. Sifan woke up at 6 am with big smiles. She had wet in the night so we took a bath and I was successful in teaching her to look up instead of down when rinsing her hair. I changed her underwear with much fussing. During the struggle I looked down and saw a giant pile of pooh……apparently when I changed her in the dark last night I didn’t realize that she had pooed and peed…..oy. She remembered her dress from yesterday and searched everywhere for it. Thankfully I remembered to hide it under the bed. But she refused to put on any of the clothes I brought and kept mumbling something in Oromo under breath (she does this when she is mad). I put all of her options out …about 4 outfits and she refused each one with a shrug of the shoulder and more mumbling. Then she started to try to leave the room in her underwear. I shut the door and she got loud angry. We waited in the room about an hour while she fussed then suddenly like a light switch she got up from her pouting and picked a shirt. Then let me pick some pants for her, shoes on, and held my hand out the door…all smiles again. We went down for a GREAT French toast breakfast.
Agitu’s sister is here and has been a great resource for me. She thinks that after talking to Sifan and seeing how big she is that she is likely close to 5. She speaks perfect Oromo she says. Our driver from New Flower says that Oromo is a hard language to learn. Sifan has been a huge source of amusement for Agitu’s sister, Sifan makes her laugh a lot. Sifan is so happy almost all of the time. She will say something in Oromo and throw her head back and laugh hysterically.
Sifan waited in the bathroom while I took a shower and got ready for her TB test appointment at 11am. The driver arrived at 10:15 with Nuni and Tamiru and we went to the clinic. We arrived 20 minutes early so Sifan took pictures of some of the other kids waiting for their TB tests. Tamiru and Sifan played little people cars and our name was called to go in for the TB test. Sifan started to whimper immediately when she saw the lab coat. We wrestled her for her arm and gave her the test shot and she cried and cried. Everyone tried to get her to stop but she would not until we got out to the car. They dropped us back off at the Guesthouse for lunch. After Berhane woke from her nap we headed to the Care Center so Berhane could say goodbye. Sifan started to cry as soon as she saw the gate and would scream if I tried to get out of the car. Korsa tried to tell her that she was going to stay with mommy and she shrugged at him. He said she didn’t believe him. So we stayed in the car while Meg and Berhane said goodbye. We shopped a bit on the way home and headed back to the guest house so Meg could pack. It was truly agonizing for me. I am so ready to come home and Torrey said that Wubitu was ready for me to come home. I bawled for 2 hours straight picturing the rest of my family at the airport the next day….I miss them so much. Torrey changed my ticket to flying out Tuesday yesterday so we didn’t lose our airfare and since the dr. here at BFAS said that we could get an appointment at the embassy on Monday or Tuesday. But as meg was finishing her packing they told me that the embassy said that they had to wait until Thursday since BFAS embassy dates are on Thursday. So Torrey has been working stateside with our Senator to get an appointment for Monday afternoon, after the TB results. Please pray that this all works out so we can be home by Wednesday. Meg left and I lost it….I was exhausted from the day and missed my family so much that I couldn’t handle it and burst into uncontrollable sobs. The girls at the guest house tried to calm me and started to tear up themselves. I tried to make myself feel better with a little American retail therapy. Sifan and I went shopping at the little shops near the guest house. Sifan would point to what she wanted and mommy would buy it (within reason of course). So she got a pink sweater (she loves pink) with little pearl hearts, a sucker, a big bunch of bananas for a dollar, and some tissues (called soft here in ethiopia). I felt a bit better. Luckily it gets dark her around 7 and there is not electricity or generator here at Notool so it forced us to go to bed and try to sleep off the sadness. I am so ready to come home. Please specifically pray that the US Embassy grants us an appointment on Monday and that Sifan passes her TB screening (the TB vaccine is given here in Ethiopia which gives a false positive….which then requires a chest x-ray)

Day 7

2009-06-29T13:50:00.000-04:00

Day 7 Thursday

Sifan refused the clothes I brought….she found a traditional Ethiopian dress in my shopping bags and fell in love with it. She put it on but it was way too big for her. We tried to pull it up and there was nothing we could do it make it better. I tried to get her to take it off but she wasn’t having it. She spent so much time pulling it up that the straps started to break off. So I asked for a needle and thread. I sewed the straps up so that the dress when not touch the floor anymore…..unfortunately it was so tight on her arms that it wasn’t comfortable. She indicated that she wanted it off….so we took it off and I showed her the options for clothes and she rejected them all and asked for the dress again. So she wore it too tight and all.

Before breakfast Beti apologized to me for not telling me I had an appointment and it helped me to feel better. A few days later Ferihwot apologized for the mistake…saying that they are all new to this process….it really helped me to not be so angry with BFAS. I am okay with mistakes….it hurts but it hurt more to be blamed for something that is not my fault. Torrey called me to tell me that sifan had not even had the shot yet to test for TB so there was no way really that I would be leaving on Friday.

The Dr. accompanied us to the Embassy to see if we could get an embassy appointment for Monday or Tuesday since we did not have the TB results. Meg passed the embassy quickly and with little incident. The Dr. talked for a long time at the window and said that we could have a Monday or Tuesday appointment. I left in tears……I was still holding out hope that somehow we would still be able to pass the embassy somehow. The Dr. took us to a nice ET restaurant but all I wanted to do was cry….infact I did cry ….alot. The Dr. asked me why I was crying…..duh……I told him I missed my family and needed to go home. He said he was glad to see that I was crying because he thought I was a tough, strong woman and now he knew that I was sensitive. He said that I would not be alone and would make the extra stay fun.

We then went back to the care center. Meg’s dad went drinking with the Dr. and then meg and Berhane were whisked away to leave me….well alone…in my tears. I was told that morning that someone from Sifan’s birthfamily was at the Care Center and I was supposed to go….Meg was supposed to videotape it for me so I waited for her to return so I wouldn’t miss this important time on video. After about 3 hours someone came to take me to Meg’s celebratory bonfire. Sifan showed everyone her pictures and named everyone in them with pride. Meg came about an hour later with Berhane from the spa. Meg looked fabulous. We ate and Sifan fell asleep on the couch. When we got ready to go home I noticed that she had wet herself……with no change of clothes on hand Meg’s dad scooped her up and laid her on my lap for the ride home. At home I had to cut her out of her dress, changed her underwear and tried to put pj’s on her….she woke just in time to refuse the Pj’s so I put her under the covers in her underwear….she fussed for a few minutes and fell asleep.

Day 6

2009-06-29T13:31:00.003-04:00

Day 6 Wednesday
- Sifan woke up happy and ready to play! No tears, no freak out! She didn’t want to change her clothes but I let it go. We played before breakfast and looked at Sifan’s photo album together. Beti told me that Sifan needed to go back to the care center because the dr called and I need to call him back first. So I called the Dr and he was talking very very fast for about 10 minutes, I didn’t understand him at all. He said something about the guest house and that is all I could get….so I had Beti call him back. I heard Beti talk to him and tell him a few times that we stayed at Notool last night. After the conversation she said that the nannies told him that I took Sifan to the New Flower guest house and he was telling me to take her back to the Care Center but since I was at Notool everything was fine and I didn’t need to take her back. So we ate some breakfast and called a driver to come later to take us to the Hilton so Meg could get on the internet again. We took the kids to play at the playground at the Hilton. Sifan was so scared on the slide the first time. She made me hold her the entire way down until she saw Berhane go down without fear and didn’t want me to hold her anymore. We then tried the merry go round thingy and she really enjoyed that. Next the swings…starting off slow and ending…well slow. She is very cautious not like Wubitu. On the way out an Ethiopian man asked if Sifan was a boy or a girl.....I know they don't distingish the boys from girls by blue and pink clothes but I thought the headband would help....I guess not. After about an hour we headed back to the guest house right before lunch. We ate together and then Nuni arrived suddenly to take Sifan for her TB test. Berhane was down for a nap so Meg and I decided to go to the Care Center to take more picture s and video of the kids. We left while Sifan was still there…she seemed a bit sad but okay. We decided to walk to save a few dollars…and I really needed the exercise. (Meg told me later she was scared). We arrived when the kids were eating lunch. The all sat in a room together. The older kids were sitting around a table and the younger ones sat along the wall on the floor. They ate injera and some red wat. After they finished eating they would go to the water spout to wash themselves up. We then took their pictures after they were clean. We made sure to get pictures of the siblings together and took more pictures of the kids we felt we didn’t photograph enough the first time….some are more shy than others so you have to make sure to get them in photographs. After all of the kids were done we got out the parachute Meg that brought. The kids enjoyed playing with it but then it got a bit violent as the kids got too excited. The head nanny asked if it was for the sun……we later realized she was asking if it was a colorful tarp to keep the sun out of the kids’ eyes. Yeah…probably a good idea. We left after the kids started to get handsy and before our pockets were completely ransacked.
When we got home we chilled out a bit waiting for sifan to get home. Nuni arrived and told me that Sifan had an appointment for Friday at 5. Apparently after I left Sifan, she thought they were taking her back to the care center and she was not having it at all. She ran up to our room and refused to move. She is very very big and very very strong….too strong for 2 100 pound Ethiopian women to move. So they tried to get meg’s dad to get her down the stairs. They did not want to force her but they didn’t know what to do. Meg’s dad asked if she could do it another day and they said if she didn’t go she could not pass the embassy on Thursday. So he told them to take her down. They somehow lugged her kicking and screaming down the stairs. Had I known this was going on I would have stayed….i thought she was fine when I left…..oops. Apparently all of the struggling made them too late for the TB test. Knowing the ET adoption process I freaked out. She was supposed to have the TB test before we visited the embassy the next day. We couldn’t understand each other as I asked all kinds of questions to figure out what was going on. Thankfully Agitu’s sister was here and could interpret for all of us. From what I gathered she had an appointment for TB on Friday….not sure if she had the initial injection or not. I called Torrey to call Agitu to find out what she knows and where we go from here to try to get out of ET on Friday as planned.
They kept blaming it on me….that was the most upsetting part. They said that her appointment was yesterday (Tuesday) but Sifan wasn’t at the Care Center because I had taken her to the new flower which was not true at all….she was at the Care Center until 3 or 4 and then came straight to Notool for the rest of the night. Nobody told me of an appointment at all or I would have left her or taken her myself. I had assumed that when they took her on Monday it was to finish up the TB testing. I went to sleep in a panic.

Day 5 Tuesday

2009-06-28T22:11:00.001-04:00

Tuesday I woke and packed my things to go to Notool. Kalb was very understanding and arranged a driver for me for the day. We packed my bags into the car and drove to Notool to pick Meg up. I wanted to wait until later in the day to pick Sifan up because we planned to go to the BFAS office and the Hilton and I thought it would be easier to get things done without having to entertain her…and I didn’t want to take a chance that she would have a fit at the Hilton. So Meg & I headed to the BFAS office first to make sure our paperwork was in order for Thursday’s embassy appointment, and meg wanted to know what Berhane’s birthdate was. They were very helpful in the BFAS office and pulled our files out and helped us go line by line to fill out our I-600 and I-864’s. The lady in the office thought we were a bit crazy and said we were the first ones to ever come to the office to fill out the papers. Meg and I are total double checkers…Meg kept freaking out if I was looking at my paperwork because she was afraid she was missing something. So after the BFAS office we headed to the Hilton to exchange money and so Meg could finally get on the internet. Meg’s dad was generous enough to buy us all lunch at the Hilton. I enjoyed some fabulous lasagna….oh how I miss tomato sauce!!! We then went to the store to shop for more gifts. Our last stop was to pick Sifan up from the Care Center at about 3 or 4pm. The head nanny told me she asked why mommy didn’t for her before lunch and they said they told her it was because of the tears…. I picked her up for the last time from the care Center and took her to Notool. She had a great time playing with Berhane and rummaging through my suitcases. That night I feared the bedtime routine. I remember Wubitu being really hard to lay down on the first night….she kept turning the lights on and off and if you made her lay down she would scream. I tried to change Sifan into her pj’s but she wasn’t having it so I lay her in bed and turned off the lights and climbed in beside her. She started to fuss so after a few minutes I got up and turned on the lights and got her up we played for a bit and then I had her turn off the light and we climbed into bed together. She whimpered quietly for about 2 minutes and then she started to snore. I fell asleep quickly after.

Day 4 Monday

2009-06-28T22:06:00.001-04:00

On Monday when I arrived at the Care Center Sifan& Abdi were getting ready to go to an embassy appointment. Sifan did not want to stay and they did not know how long it would be before she left so we asked the nanny if we could take her to the Notool guest house to wait. She made a call and said we could go. At the guest house we changed her clothes because the snap up crotch pants were coming unsnapped and showing the world her underwear. She had on a 9 months shirt and 24 months pants. So we changed her into a 5T that was a bit snug but looked much more comfortable than what she was wearing. She LOVED the pink pants! In fact she is in LOVE with anything pink and outright rejects anything that is not pink. After about an hour someone came to pick her up to take her to her appointment along with Abdi. She let me peek at Sifan’s passport and I laughed out loud when I read that her birth date was August 28, 2006…..2 years old…..for sure she is the biggest 2 year old in existence at about 50lbs! Also Sifan’s name is spelled Sefan on her passport. That is really common in ET since E & I are so close in sound. I am not sure which spelling we will use when we readopt and change her name. She likes to be called Sefo (See-fo) and Sefany (See -fan-ee).
While Sifan was gone Meg & I headed to the Hilton to try to get on the internet and when we arrived they said that the internet was down so we came home and Abdi and Sifan were waiting here for us. We took lots of pictures for Abdi’s mom at home in the US. Unfortunately Sifan didn’t like that fact that I was paying attention to Abdi…who is crazy cute btw. She started to try to take toys away from him and hit him. So I had to make a point to not pay any attention to him at all. We stayed most of the day …about 5 hours with us at the guest house before I called a cab to take Sifan back to the Care center and he came along.
When we arrived Sifan showed the nannies her photo album and named each person for them…in hind sight I should have left immediately while she was distracted but I waited and then she jumped in my arms. The nannies tried to take her from me but she was not having it. She kicked and screamed and I bawled because it was so wrong. I couldn’t handle it as she screamed in terror and bawled as they tried to rip her from my arms. I just walked away with her clinging to my chest feverishly as I tried to regain composure. The head nanny tried to give her some bread from her own purse and she would not take it so they nanny had to pry her from my body and Sifan desperately grabbed for my pants and the nanny had to pry her hands off of them. I later heard that she bit the nanny and broke the skin. I ran out bawling. I immediately called my husband frantic and crying to ask him to contact Agitu to see if she would allow me to stay with Sifan at New flower since other adoptive families were there. She said she would call and beg the doctor and gave T his phone number to call too. Basically the Dr would not let Torrey get a word in edgewise and the Dr. hung up on him. Torrey called me back and I was still sobbing hysterically over having Sifan ripped from my arms and I asked him to call Agitu to see if she would change the rate for the Notool guest house back to the more reasonable price. I went to sleep a mess and Torrey called me in the middle of the night here to say that Agitu said she would talk to the Notool director about the price change. She tried to tell him that the new price was reasonable and he tried to point out that I am paying $40 a night for a place that has internet, a generator, a large courtyard for the kids to play in, tp always stocked and water always on hand and I only have to pay $10 a day for food and $15 for a taxi back and forth to the care Center. Torrey and I talked and we knew that we had to move no matter what and hoped the BFAS would do the right thing and add back the 1 person rate for Notool of $80. I went back to sleep resolved to never let anyone rip Sifan from my arms again.

Day 3

2009-06-16T05:56:00.002-04:00

Day 3

Today I went to see Sifan and she looked super excited to see me then she got a weird look (meg said like…I wonder if she is here for me?) Then she hid behind the other kids. When I got to her she looked a little weary so I scooped her up and kissed her little cheeks. We changed her into some clothes I brought from home and she had a HUGE smile on her face. She & I helped Meg to measure and take pictures of all of the other kids at hannah's care center. Then we were off to Kidame Mihret to video little Jascha (who is FABOULOUS btw Jen). Next we went back to the guest house to play for the afternoon.

Sifan played happily and learned the word gum…which she LOVES. She is very giving and likes to share with Berhane. She jabbers on and on in Amharic and I wish I understood what she is saying. She has a kind of silent defiance about her we have decided. She will often ignore you when you say her name…almost like she doesn't hear you. But all was well in the 4 hours we played at the (NOTOOL) guest house together. Then like a switch she suddenly ran into the hallway and did not want to come back into the room. The stairway has large marble steps and I was afraid she would get hurt if she fell down so I tried to gently urge her to come back to the room. She refused so I tried to pick her up and carry her into the room. This made her squirm and scream. So I put her back down and watched closely from a distance. She gave me mean looks and layed on the landing to the stairs. I thought perhaps she was tired so we started to make plans to take her back to the Care Center for bed time. Whenever I went to put her shoes on or pick her up she would scream and squirm until I put her down. When the taxi was on its way I tried to move her again but this made her more angry and she started to scream and cry uncontrollable. Cosa, from BFAS tried to talk to her but she did not want him either and she screamed louder. So I sat beside her for about 20 minutes and rubbed her back and wiped her tears and nose while she cried. I cried knowing that she had been through so much in her young life and this new transition had to be overwhelming for her. When the taxi finally arrived she let me pick her back up but she didn't snuggle in she kind of pushed her torso away while I carried her. She stayed that way on the ride to the Care Center and when we go there she burst into tears again. I picked her up and carried her to the other children like the day before but she clung desperately to me now sobbing, The nannies tried to talk to her and she shrugged at them and would not let go of me. The nannies said "She likes you too much." After talking didn't work the nannies tried to pry her from my arms and I couldn't take it. So I told them that I would bring her back later and we left.

We took her back to my guest house so Meg could use the internet since she didn't have access at the BFAS guest house (Notool). Sifan and Berhane had a FABULOUS time because the New flower has a large courtyard for the kids to play in and the BFAS guesthouse does not have any room outside for the kids to play. We kicked a ball around and Berhane explored with her grandpa. We all enjoyed some much needed fresh air. And the most fabulous thing happened. Sifan started to respond to her name and she started to try to speak English by copying me which she would not do before. And Sifan opened up and laughed and joked in Amharic and laughed at herself again. She is a true joy! She is going to enjoy Noah, Carter, and Wubi with her sense of humor, she laughs easily and is very ticklish! I can't wait to be home!

So when the taxi came back again to take us back (1 hour later) we loaded up and Sifan got the sad look in her eyes again. When we reached the Care Center shewas completely silent and looking down at her little hands. This time I did not pick her up but held her hand as we walked up to the nannies. At Meg's dad's urging I left quickly. I heard her protests and burst into tears but climbed back into the car. Meg's dad and I cried until we reached his guest house.

I returned to my guest house and sadly watched the other families from other agencies happily playing with their children. They have the same embassy date as us and will be leaving at the same time.

day 2

2009-06-14T01:22:00.002-04:00

The flight into Addis was very very long but I was thankful to be sitting by a girl my age who didn't feel the need to shoot the breeze. We rode in silence and enjoyed some laughs about the Ethiopian airlines issues: nobody can ever figure out what seats they are in, the tvs flickering on and off, etc. I was sooooo thankful for my travel pillow thingy….the kind that go around your neck….it made the flight so much more comfortable since the seats hardly recline for the 18 hour flight. It was nice to have the window seat to prop my head against the wall but I didn't feel like I could disturb my fellow passanger to get up and stretch as much as I know I should hav e. My ankels and calves were swollen like when I ate clam chowder at 9 months pregnant…..they were HUGE!!!

At the Bole Airport in Addis Ababa I felt at ease since we had been through before. I waited about an hour in the visa upon arrival line and another 30 minutes to get my visa stamped and another 30-40 minutes to find my luggage. This time around the visa upon arrival option took much longer since I was at the end of a long line. Our flight came in 45 minutes late so our driver from the New Flower guest house had been waiting 3 hours for me by the time I got through customs. Both New Flower & BFAS wer e there to pick me up. We all shared a taxi to the New Flower to drop my things off and then drove to the Nootol guest house to meet with my travel buddy Meg. We waited about an hour or so and the Dr, from BFAS called to make sure I understood that by staying at another guest house I would not be taking full custody of Sifan until after the embassy date on Thursday. I was fine with the arrangement knowing that I could bring Sifan to the Notool to hang out with Meg and Ellie Berhane during the day and take Sifan back to the orphanage at night so I could be sure to get a good night sleep. I asked Dr. A about taking Sefan to the Notool guest house during the day to play with Berhane and he agreed that would be okay.

Meg and I walked with Korsa (the BFAS person who picked me up at the airport) about 1 mile to the orphanage. Meg video taped as we walked into the room with all of the children and I immediately recognized Sifan and picked her up. She was very quiet and a bit scared but did not protest to me picking her up. Cosa had told me on the way that she told him she couldn't wait for "mama" to come. I walked around with her for awhile and we looked in on the babies. Then I passed out stickers for each of the kids and helped Meg take pictures and video of each of the kids to send to their parents back home in the US. We played outside in the tent play structure Meg brought and then decided to head back to Notool guest house. I carried Sifan the mile on my back.

Sifan is MUCH bigger than I expected. She is at least the same height as Wubitu but for sure weighs about 5 pounds more (not less as before). Sifan has a very quiet softspoken personality….she speaks very quickly in Amharic with a lower soft voice. She talked and talked in Amharic….a couple of times I said, "huh" and she would repeat herself…but of course I could not understand what she was saying. She was fine with that but I can tell that it may become a problem later as she get frustrated with me not understanding. I gave her a much needed bath and washed her hair. She loved the olive oil spray and kept rubbing her hand through her hair and having me smell her hand. Then she found the ponytails Meg brought and picked one out. I put a single puff in her 1 inch hair, then she would go back for another and another…each time feeling the back of her head to see if there was anymore free hair. By the end we had about 12 puffs all over her head in a rainbow of colors. She LOVED it! She wasn't a big fan of the headband (but I brought like 10)…so I may need to go on a hunt for more little pony tails while I am here. She played well by herself and didn't need to be entertained like Wubitu did (and still does!). I interacted with her as much as possible without overwhelming her. When Berhane would cry Sifan would take her toys to try to get her to calm down. Sifan found a little bottle of lotion and covered her entire body in the lotion then when her skin was sticky for moiture she proceeded to rub Berhane down with lotion. Then went back to putting it all over herself (much like Wubitu does now with her lotion….we never have to worry about ashy skin in our house J ).

We ate a bit of rice and spinach (or something green like spinach). Sifan and I shared, she ate a lot but made a bad face when she did….like she didn't like it but wanted to eat anyway. She then chugged a bottle of water and later told me she had to go potty J. Really I could not ask for a more sweet, loving, little girl! She is FABULOUS!!! She will definitely help to offset Wubitu's sassiness in the house!

After awhile Sifan started to be a bit ornery…..and wouldn't come to me and took all of her puffs out of her hair. And I wasn't sure if this meant the "honeymoon" phase was already over or if she was tired (Wubi gets exponentially more ornery when she is tired). I walked over and picked her up since she would not come to me. She snuggled in tight on my lap and I started to tear up, Meg did too....and she said "she knows you are home". She fell asleep on my lap within 2 minutes. I sat there with her on my lap for about 20 minutes cherishing the moment. It was then about 5 pm and we called for a taxi. The taxi took us back to the orphanage where Sifan hopped down from my arms and walked slowly back to the group of children there getting ready to eat. She looked sad and I asked them to tell her I would be back tomorrow. No drama, they told her to kiss me and she obeyed and I kissed her back. She still looked sad, maybe a bit confused but she seemed fine when I left.

The taxi driver then took me and Cosa to the New Flower to drop me off. We got lost a bit but I had the address and phone number for New Flower in my purse so we called for directions and arrived very quickly. New Flower is about 5 minutes from BFAS by car….to far to walk. New flower is near the building with the airplane sticking out (for those of you who have been to Addis).
Upon arriving back at New Flower I dropped my purse in my room and shut the door and immediately passed out on the bed. It was around 6 pm….and even though Meg warned to to not fall asleep to get over jet lag faster, I couldn't help myself. I was absolutely exhausted! I woke up at 10 when another group of travelers arrived and checked into their rooms and fell back asleep until 4am…..it is completely quiet here at the New Flower (THANKFULLY). Meg's dad said that the blacksmith across the street works pounding away until 2-3 in the morning and the dogs are very loud so he had trouble sleeping. There seems to be only 1 dog next door here who barks only when people enter or exit the compound. My room is very small (about the same size as my room at home actuallly, big enough for the bed and to walk around the bed) but I only need it to sleep here so it is PERFECT (and only $40 a night). I haven't yet been able to explore the New Flower but there are serveral adoptive families here with their children. A note…..we stayed at the "New Flower" guest house when we came to pick up Wubitu in December 2007 BUT this "New Flower" is a different building a ways away from the guest house we stayed in last time. It is still run by the same family who I have surmissed now runs several guest houses. The "New Flower" we stayed in last time is now called the "Ethiocomfort" guest house. I am not sure when they changed this….just wanted to clarify….and apologize to those I have referred the New Flower to and sent pictures….they are different…I will give a full review of the new New Flower when I get a chance to explore more.

The power was out all day today and came back on at 2 am. I hope to make it to an internet café today to check emails and tell my family I am alive and how cute little Sifan is!